The Promise of a Victor
by meganlucindaxo
Summary: *Sequel to The promise of a life* After her games, Gemma has been labeled 'mentally unstable' by the capitol. The only thing keeping her going is her daughter. But what would happen to her, if something happen to her daughter? Read and Review :
1. Chapter 1: Haymitch, Fatherly figure

_Hey Guys! This is the first chapter of my sequel! If you haven't already, go read the promise of a life! :) _

_Sorry this chapter is so short, but they'll get longer :) _

_I'm only going to write districts 12, 11, 8 & 7, 4, 1 for parts of the victory tour, they're the only real districts with significance! _

_Thank you all, Read and Review Please :)_

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p>"Hello District 12. I know you want me to say something nice about your tributes, but frankly, I don't know what there is to say. I know you all want me to say that I'm sorry I had to kill them, and that I wish that they could be here instead of me, but I can't because it's not true." I point to all of the scars I have running across my chest and arms, and stare right into the tribute's family's eyes, "They gave me all of these. All of these scars. And the girl killed my 12 year old ally. How can you possibly think I have something nice to say about them? Yes, I know they were just trying to survive, and they made it very far too, I'll give them that much, but was there really any need to be this violent?" I lift up my tank top, revealing the scar shaped as a smiley face underneath. I hear gasps from tons of people, having never seen it in person before. "Yeah. I thought so too. Thank you."<p>

I walk off the stage and pick up my little girl, Trixie. She's here with me on the victory tour, and she will be coming to the capitol with me each year to mentor. I know I could always leave her behind with Carter, but I don't think I could handle the separation. Not again.

In the last six months a lot has happen. I've managed to accept my allies deaths, with the big help of Trixie and Carter, but I still wake up almost every morning sobbing and screaming for Ky, Juniper, Annabelle or Marigold.

Trixie has been a great help. I've spent a lot of my time teaching her things, like how to talk and walk. Yes, she's only one and a half, but she's smart. She can say a few things now & can walk a few tiny steps. She helps ease the pain.

After I returned home from my games, Me and Carter just hugged each other for hours. I was so happy just to be home in his arms. He understood what Ky meant to me, which is a huge relief. He lives with me and Trixie in the victor's village, and our relationship is better than ever.

I'm being ushered into a room where I will meet district 12's one and only victor, Haymitch Abernathy. Esmeralda, Mitchell and Trixie are all with me, luckily. Haymitch is already in there, and he offers me his hand, "Haymitch Abernathy. Pleasure to meet you." He slurs, obviously drunk. I manage Trixie in one hand and shake his with my other. "And who's this?" he nods to Trixie, suddenly more sober.

"This is Trixie." I say looking at my child tracing the scars on my chest. She looks up at me. "Say hi to Haymitch, Trixie." She takes a quick glance at Haymitch, then buries her head in my shoulder. I turn back to Haymitch, "I'm sorry, she's just shy."

He laughs and says it's time for the feast. Over dinner he smirks while telling me that most of his district hates me. I've decided I like him.

"Oh, I haven't noticed." I say sarcastically.

He rolls his eyes, and then takes another swig of his liquor, "Yeah, yeah."

I turn from my plate to feed Trixie and I notice Haymitch staring. "You have a problem?" I ask him.

"No, I just like kids." He says.

I snort, "You. You Haymitch Abernathy, Panem's favorite drunkard likes children?"

"Yeah. I had a kid brother once you know."

My face falls, "Oh, Haymitch. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He says. Then Trixie starts crying, so I leave the room with her.

…

I'm outside with her, on the back deck of the Justice building. I bundle her up in her jacket, because it's getting cold. I see Trixie stop crying at stair at something behind me, so I turn and see Haymitch standing there.

"I Twixee!" Trixie finally talks to Haymitch. She can't say Trixie, so she says Twixee. Haymitch laughs, and holds out his arms to take her. I need a tiny break, my arms are sore, and he's been nice enough so I hand her over.

Surprisingly, Haymitch actually looks great with a kid. He seems like the fatherly type. I hear him whispering things to her, and her giggling. I doubt she knows what he's saying, but I think it's cute.

After a while he hands her back to me, because she's fallen asleep in his arms. I smile and take her, "Looks like it's time for everyone to sleep." I say to him.

"She's really cute, you know. You're a lucky girl. I can't wait to see you both again."

I smile, "Well, we both will be mentoring this year, so you'll see us then. Any advise who to become friends with while I'm on this fantastic tour here?"

He smirks, "Well, we are kind of in a group. Me, Chaff and Seeder from 11, Jolie from 8-"

"Marigold's?" I whisper, interrupting him.

He nods, "Well, of course you know Finnick from 4, and Esmeralda. So stick with us, and you'll be fine."

"Thanks, Haymitch. I never really asked anyone, but what games did you win?"

"The fiftieth." I nod. "Gemma, you're not alone… I also had to watch my district partner… you know."

Ky. I grit my teeth and swallow, trying so hard not to think about his last few moments with me; cause I know if I do I'll have another break down, and I'll be considered even crazier than I already am. "It's time for me to go, Haymitch. Goodbye."

He just shrugs, "See you, sweetheart." And walks off the deck, into the blackness. I bend down and kiss Trixie's forehead, then go in search of Penelope to tell her we're leaving. I finally find her and tell her, and she complains but lets me go.

After a half hour of mindlessly walking around I finally find my room. I enter it quietly and place Trixie in a crib that's been provided for us, then fall down onto the big bed, thinking.

I think of Carter. I think of Ky. I think of the games. I think of how I'm going to have to mentor two children this year. I think of how I'm considered mentally unstable to the capitol. I think of President Snow, and how badly I want to kill him. I think of Trixie. I think of Trixie's future. I think of what will happen when Trixie becomes eligible for the reaping.

I shake my head. I don't want to think about that. Something will have to be done about these games by then. I can't let my baby go into the arena.

My eyes slowly close, and I fall into a peaceful sleep. I'm going to need my rest… tomorrow is district 11. Juniper's district.

* * *

><p><em>By the way, speaking of her having to mentor. I was wondering if any of you would be interested in sending in a malefemale tribute for me, that she would have to mentor? Not yet, of course. In a few chapters. But what do you think?_ _Leave comments in the review!_


	2. Chapter 2: You're safe and sound now

_District 11! I miss Juniper :( Hope you like it! Review please:)_

_I do not own the Hunger games!_

* * *

><p>"<em>Ky!" I shout eagerly as I run toward him, jumping in his arms.<em>

"_Hey, Gemma. How have you been?" He says with a smile._

"_I've been fine, I guess. They all say I'm crazy. I just miss you so much." _

"_You should."_

_I back away to look at him before speaking, "what?"_

"_I said, you should miss me. You deserve to grieve, deserve to be in pain. You're a murderer, Gemma."_

_I gasp, "I-I did what I had to do!"_

_He reaches into his pocket and draws out a knife, "No, Gemma. You had a choice, and you chose the wrong one. You're a murderer, and like me, you deserve to die". He takes a step closer to me, raising the knife to my neck. I can't move._

"_No! Ky! Ky, Stop it!" I scream at him. I'm planted into the ground. _

_He leans into my ear, "I should have just left the district 12 girl kill you when she had the chance. Looks like I'll just have to finish what she started." He hisses. He sounds scary, horrifying._

"_No! Ky this is a nightmare! You aren't like this! You saved me!"_

_He smirks, then pulls an evil grin to his face, "Oh yeah Gemma? If this is a nightmare, wake up." I can't wake up, I try everything I can, but I can't. "And, if this was a nightmare, would you feel this pain?" He traces one of my old scars along my chest, and the pain is excruciating. A million times worse than before._

_I finally break free from my spot next to Ky, and turn to run. I keep running and running, until I can't run anymore, and I fall to the ground. I look up for a quick second, only to see Ky, standing above me laughing._

"_Say goodbye." He whispers, raising his knife to me again. I squeeze my eyes shut, waiting for it to enter my body._

I wake up on a soaked bed. My pillow is soaked from my tears, and the sheets are soaked from my sweat. I look up, expecting to see Trixie in her crib, but she's not there.

Oh right, she's probably with Penelope. We are on the train to district 11. At that moment, Penelope comes knocking on the door. "Gemma! Wake up! Trixie wants some of your attention, and we are almost in the next wonderful district!"

I sigh, not wanting to go to district 11. That was Juniper's district. If that little girl wasn't dead right now, I'd be dead. I can tell right now I'm going to break down when I see her family's faces.

I get up, clean myself up and get dressed. Before walking out to meet the rest of the people, I grab the single sheet of paper on the desk in my room. It has my speech written on it. I wrote it before hand, because I will need someone to read it for me if I break down.

I walk out and sit at a table with the others, next to Trixie. "Hey Trix." I whisper to her. She's smiling at all the scene, and playing with messy food in front of her.

"Mama!" She screeches when she hears me, obviously excited. I smile, she's so cute.

"Um, Esmeralda?" I whisper across the table. She looks up from her bacon and eggs. "I don't know if I'll be able to do this speech."

"What? You have to! It's not optional, Gemma!" She says in a hushed voice, not wanting Penelope to hear. She would freak out at both of us.

"No, no it's not that. I just… I have a weird feeling about this one… I don't know if I'll be able to ahh… make it through." She gets what I mean and nods.

"Well, I'm sure we can get someone to help you if that happens. I'm sure Seeder wouldn't mind doing it."

I think._ Seeder…. Seeder. Who's that? Right! One of the victors Haymitch told me is in their group! _"Okay, thank you."

After that we finish our breakfast in silence, besides from Trixie's little gabbling, which Mitchell laughs at.

We eventually pull into district 11. I kiss Trixie on the cheek and tell her to be a good girl for Esmeralda, who is going to watch her until after my speech.

My prep team and Violet work on me for a while, putting me in a soft yellow dress. It's a bit higher than my knees, but it doesn't bother me. I request for no makeup or anything special done to my hair, and they obey. Then, before I go on stage, they hand me a black cardigan to cover up my arms and the straps of the dress, because they know how uncomfortable I am because of my weight. I'm still very skinny.

I walk out onto the stage, trying to avoid the gaze of the tribute's families. It's hard, so hard, because I hear their sobs. "Hi, District 11… This is definitely going to be the, or one of the, hardest districts for me… because of Junipe-" My voice breaks when I say her name, and I know I'm going to break down. I usher for Penelope to come out, so she does.

I hand her the paper while the tears first start falling.

"Hi, District 11… This is definitely going to be the, or one of the, hardest districts for me, because of Juniper. You all have watched the games; you know what it was like between us. She was like the little sister I never had. I know by now I'll be crying," Penelope motions to me, "So I apologize. Little Juniper didn't deserve to die, neither did the boy. I didn't know the boy, but I know he was kind. Juniper told me about him, about how she was friends with him, and he sounded so sweet. I'm truly, truly sorry that they died… but they're in a better place now, a place where they are free." I put a hand up to Penelope to tell her to stop, and I walk to the microphone.

I blow a kiss to the sky, "You're safe and sound now, Juniper. Thank you all." I say it very shakily, while still crying, but I know everyone understood me. I look at Juniper's family, who are all weeping, but smiling. They start clapping. Then the boy's family starts clapping. Then the rest of the audience.

I smile through the tears and walk off stage. Esmeralda's there to greet me, holding Trixie. "Why you cry, Mama?" Trixie asks me.

"I uh.. Need a second." I say to Esmeralda before taking off running down the hall. I don't even know where I go; I just need to get away. I end up in a storage room not too far from where I'm supposed to meet the victors. I hear people calling my name outside the door, footsteps running down the hall.

I clasp my hands over my ears, while bringing my knees to my chest. I squeeze my eyes shut, rocking back and forth, sobbing, trying to forget. I don't want to be here, I hate it. The stupid capitol and their stupid games, with tons of kids having to stupid die! I hate hate hate it!

The door burst open, and I don't move from my position. I'm sobbing so loud, it's almost screams now. I feel hand on me, rubbing my back, holding my hand; trying to comfort me.

After a while I finally compose myself, removing my hands and opening my eyes. The first faces I see are Esmeralda's and Mitchells, but then I look around, and I see a lot of people; Esmeralda, Mitchell, Penelope, Violet, Some victors from 11, Trixie, Peacekeepers, and a few doctors of course.

I'm embarrassed and I can feel my face burning. Esmeralda cradles me in her arms, "It's going to be okay, Gemma." She soothes. It helps. She's like the mother figure I've always wanted.

Penelope eventually leaves the room with Trixie, claiming she'll see me outside. The peacekeepers and doctors leave, and Mitchell goes to get a drink. Soon enough it's only Esmeralda, violet, and the two victors I recognise as Chaff and Seeder.

"Well, that was quite a welcome." Chaff says.

Seeder hits his chest, "Oh be nice, Chaff. Look at this poor girl; it'll be okay, honey." She comes over to offer me her hand, but I hug her instead. I like her.

"Hello," I say with a sniffle to her and Chaff.

"Chaff. Winner of the 45th games." I shake his one hand, using my bad hand. I feel him run his fingers along the graphs.

"Chaff? No last name?" I say with a smile.

He smirks, "It's Chaff to you. And well you know Seeder Kelly. She won the 30th games. She's old."

"Oh, shut up Chaff. I'm not old!" She says.

I laugh, and we walk off to the feast, me getting Trixie on the way out.

The Rest of the night went by great. I really like Chaff and Seeder, they're hilarious. I laughed at the two of them the whole night. They both really like Trixie as well; she even fell asleep in Seeder's arms. So that's where I am now, taking her from Seeders arms.

I thank her and tell her goodbye, then head into our room to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3: Show some respect

_Figured I'd post this one tonight too! :) _

_Hmm, Is there some... foreshadowing near the end of this chapter? I think so! ;)_

_Hope you like it; Review !_

_I do not own the hunger games._

* * *

><p>Our time in district 8 went fast; we decided to rush district 8 and district 7 into one day, because I didn't want to stay at either for very long. District 8 was Marigold's district… I killed Marigold. She was my partner, I ended her life.<p>

I shake my head clear of those thoughts. I start making funny faces at Trixie, and she laughs. So far she's been having a great time on the victory tour, unlike me. She has no idea what's going on, or why we're even here. All she knows is that she's meeting new friends and that she's getting to spend time with her mommy.

Penelope comes to retrieve Trixie to bring her to go change into her own dress, also giving me time to go meet with my prep team to get ready for district 7. District 7 is going to be by far the worst, I've decided, because their female killed my Ky.

My prep team are working away at me, and I think back to my time in district 8.

"_Hello District 8. I know you must all hate me, in fact I hate myself half the time, and you have every right too. I ended one of your tributes lives." I stare at Marigold's family, "But you must know that I would never, ever do that to Marigold. She was one of the nicest people I've ever known. She had a heart of gold and was kind to everyone. She was my friend. She wanted me to help her… And I know she would have done the same for me. I'm truly, deeply sorry. Thank you all." I then walked off the stage, no one clapped, no one cried, no one made a sound. They were quiet, too quiet._

_I met the victors after; most of them we're either glaring at me or ignoring me. Besides from Jolie of course. She was so nice and kind to me and Trixie, so welcoming. She won the 55__th__ games; she and Haymitch are good friends apparently._

_The rest of the night went by long and boring. I mainly just talked to Jolie, and we both tried to keep Trixie occupied. A few of the other victors that ignored me came and spoke to me, and they were all nice enough. They all held Trixie and played with her a bit too. _

_Then after a while, Penelope came and told us we had to go back to the train, where Trixie fell asleep instantly and I cried for hours._

"What are you thinking about saying for this speech?" Violet asks me, interrupting my thoughts. I hadn't even noticed she came in.

"I don't know yet. But whatever it is it won't be nice, trust me." She just laughs. I suppose I owe it to the district to be a bit nice, because I killed their male tribute in the bloodbath. But they aren't getting it; because that stupid girl killed my Ky.

Violet hands me a sparkling green t-shirt, along with a black blazer over it that matches my black pants. She guilds me to the door of the train, and then peace keepers walk me out on to the stage, standing next to me like they know I'm going to freak out.

The audience is silent. I wish I had a camera to take a picture of all their faces; they are all glaring at me, some of them red hot from anger.

I can't help but smirk, because they are all so ridiculous. They really think I'd be nice to them? Ha!

"Well well well, look what we have here?" I say, mocking the last words that the female tribute ever said. I'm going to hell one day. The glares people were giving me change to downright hate, a few men start to walk toward the stage; but peacekeepers block them off. I laugh then, laughing at all of them. It's my psycho laugh, I sound crazy. "Ah, I guess some of you remember those words, hm?"

I hear shouts and growls from the crowd but continue speaking, "Yeah, I figured. I remember too. You know why? Because those are the last words the tribute that killed my best friend ever said. Yeah yeah yeah I get it by now, you all want me to come here and say I'm sorry they're dead, and I can say that about the boy."

I turn to face his family, "I am very, truly sorry I had to kill your male tribute on the first day at the cornucopia… I know he was a good fighter; he would have killed me if I didn't react fast enough. He was very handsome too." I give them a weak smile, and they nod their heads as in appreciation. I turn back to the crowd.

"But the girl. Oh that girl," I snarl, "I have nothing nice to say about her. She got what was coming to her. She may have died first, but she still killed Ky." Normally I'd be crying by now, but I am just too angry to cry. "So if you expect me to say something nice about her? HA! You're the crazy ones, not me."

Then I burst out in my hysterical laughter again. After 5 or 6 minutes I compose myself enough to keep going. "But anyways, the only good thing I can say about her was that she was very sneaky. She made it to the final three and I didn't even know she was ali-" I get cut off by a peace keeper slinging me over his shoulder, "What the fuck! Let me down! I'm not done you idiot!" I scream at them. The people in the audience are loving this.

"Oh you're done." Is all he says. He turns to walk away, and I lift my head. I'm still facing the district.

"Anyways, these stupid peacekeepers say I'm crazy so I'm being dragged away now. Good bye district 7, and I'm sorry about you're male tribute!" I manage to scream.

After that, they bring me inside the doors and drop me down on the floor so hard, I hear my wrist snap. "God Dammit! You idiot!" Then I add some more profanity while clutching my wrist.

Another peacekeeper comes over, and kicks me hard in the gut; I curl into a ball trying to catch my breath for one quick second. "Show some damn respect next time, maggot." Then he spits on me. His saliva touches my face, and I freak.

I jump up and start throwing punches at his face. I get in a few good ones, then kick him as hard as I possibly can in his groin. These just results in another peacekeeper throwing me back to the ground and twisting my surely broken wrist some more, and I scream in pain. He doesn't stop though, he keeps going. Around and around it turns. My vision starts to get blurry and black from all the pain. "Please, please…" I whimper. My whole bodies numb and I close my eyes.

The last thing I hear before I black out is the snap of a bone, a huge bellowing laugh, and 8 words: "Not such a bad ass now, are you?"

…

I open my eyes. _Oh shit. _I can't feel my right arm; I look down to see if it is even there. Luckily it is. It must be the drugs, numbing my arm. I hear a door open and look up. It's Esmeralda.

"Where's Trixie?" Is the first thing I ask.

She sighs, "She's fine. What are we gonna do with you, Gemma? You can't keep going around pulling stunts like that!"

I snicker and use a capitol accent, "I can do whatever I want. I'm a victor." She doesn't know how to respond, she just stares in my eyes like she's seeing right through me. "Where are we anyways?" I ask, using my normal voice.

"We're in the district 6 hospital… We found you on the floor passed out cold a few minutes after your speech. The peacekeepers did this to you?" She points to my arm, it's in a cast. Not just my wrist, but my whole arm. I nod. "Yeah, well. They wouldn't let us in the hospital there. They kicked us all out, forced us to come to 6."

I don't know why, but I grin madly at this. "Good! I'm glad they hate me! I hate them too!"

"No, Gemma, you don't understand! This has never happen before… You can't just kick out a victor from a district, it's unheard of. They don't even kick criminals out for god's sakes."

My face drops, because I know what she means. She means that snow is going to force me to have some sort of punishment for my actions. I gulp. "They wouldn't… Snow wouldn't …hurt… anyone, would he?" I whisper.

She sighs, "Gemma I don't know what he's going to do. No other victor has ever…" She stops for a second to think, "Act like that before. It's unheard of. No matter what you show some respect for the tribute's families. No matter what."

I snort. "Well, looks like I just started something new then, didn't I?"


	4. Authors Note: Tribute Form

_Hey Guys! This isn't a chapter, I'll probably post one later tonight. But I was wondering if anyone wanted to submit any tributes I could use in the upcoming game? They will not win. If I don't get any, then I'll create them myself, but I thought this could have been a fun way_

_Please PM or Review me the form, and sorry about it being so long but I want detail!_

_A big thanks to Writergirl666, 2B-ing . us .4once, & GlitterBabee for the reviews!_

_New chapter will be up soon, but until then, review!_

* * *

><p><strong>~Basics~<em><br>_**

Name:

Gender:

Age:

District (Any Tributes I get that I do not use for D1, I can use for other tributes/allies):

Status in District:

Personality (Please be very descriptive, not just a few words):

**~Appearance (be descriptive)~**

Eyes:

Hair:

Build:

Best feature:

Skin tone:

Scars/birthmarks/tattoos:

**~Family and/or friends~**

Mother:

Father:

Sister:

Brother

Other:

Friends:

**~Skills~**

Weaknesses (minimum three):

Strengths (maximum three):

Fear (Even if they are a career, they have to be scared of something):

Best weapons:

Worst weapons (at least two):

**~Reaping~**

Volunteered or reaped:

Reaction at reaping:

If volunteered, why and for who?:

Reaping outfit:

Token:

**~Other game important things~**

How good-looking are they from 1-10:

How smart are they from 1-10:

How fast are they from 1-10:

Do they have a nickname that the other tributes gave them? If they do, why? (Like, you know, Peeta was "Lover Boy"):

Most important person in their life:

Enemies:

A Career, a loner, or an ally:

Interview outfit:

Strategies in the arena:

Ideas on what the arena should look like:

Ideas on arena clothes:

How do they act towards their District partner?

Open to allies and/or romances:

Preferred death (This is important, I'm letting you know now that they will not win. But they will hopefully make it far):

Training score:

Other:


	5. Chapter 4: Going to hell

_Read & Review :)_

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p>I'm now considered mentally unstable, and almost every peacekeepers punching bag. Ever since my incident in district 7, they all just seem to like to hurt me. My arm ended up being broken from the incident, and it needs to be in a cast for 2 months. I hate it, it bloody itches. And it doesn't provide a very good shield either.<p>

District 6 was nothing special. I barely made a speech. To be honest I was scared to say anything… I flinch whenever I see a peacekeeper too. I would never let anyone know of course, but I am actually terrified to be alone in a room, scared someone's going to come and hurt me.

The same things happen in district 5, on the morning before we left for 4 (where we're on our way to now). Three peacekeepers came, telling me they had a letter for me. But of course, District 5 being 'friends' so to speak, with district 7, the peacekeepers threw me around a bit first. I've stopped fighting now, just letting it happen.

I'm currently nursing a black eye, reopened scar on my neck, and cut to my forehead from that beating. Along with my armed cast, I'm quite the sight.

Once they finally handed me over my letter, and I wobbled to the train in pain, I plopped down on the couch, Esmeralda once again nursing my cuts.

So here I am, sat down on the train to district 4. My blackened eye is swollen shut, but I'm still going to read the short letter…

_Ms. Gemma Stone,_

_So, you're going to be one of the more strenuous victors, hm? Not smart, my dear, not smart. _

_You do realize that I'm in charge here, correct? Just because you're mentally unstable does not mean you can go around being disrespectful and arrogant towards the brilliant Capitol and its districts. _

_Your actions will have consequences. So I'm warning you now, be prepared for a truly pleasant surprise when you return home from your victory tour; well, truly pleasant for myself, anyways._

_Enjoy the rest of your tour; I'll see you in the capitol. But until then, my peacekeepers won't hesitate to set your records straight – not like you don't already know that._

_Sincerely,_

_President Coriolanus Snow, __**leader**__ of Panem._

I'm stunned. I don't know what to think. He pretty much just told me something will happen when I go home, and these fucking beating will be continuing. I take steady breaths, trying to calm myself so I don't break down.

Esmeralda comes back over with a bag of ice to lay on my eye. When she sees my heavy breathing with the letter in my hand she stops dead in her track. She knows me so well now, it's kinda creepy. "What does it say, Gemma." She doesn't even ask me anymore, because she knows I won't tell her, so she just demands to know. I shove the letter in her hands, and place my face in my hands which are on my knees.

She reads it quickly, "Oh, Gemma. I'm sorry."

I just sigh and whisper, "Will it be Carter, Es?" She just shakes her head, gives me the ice pack and walks away to get Trixie for me.

I lie down on the couch I was sitting on, placing the cold ice pack on my eye when I feel weight pushing on my stomach. I look up to see my baby, smiling at me.

I grin, take her in my one good hand and sit up; I feel bad. I haven't spent a lot of time with her, and it's hard for me to take her up with one arm. I'm surprised that she isn't scared of me, I'm quite scary looking.

I play with her for a bit, until my prep team got to make me over for district 4. I refuse to let them cover up any of my cuts, bruises, or scars; I want the people of district 4 to consider me scary looking, even Finnick.

So, they dress me in a navy blue strapless top, clearly showing all evidence of abuse, and straight black pants. I look at myself in a mirror on the side door of the stage, listening to the roaring crowd. I look horrifying.

The reaction of the crowd when I walk onto stage is priceless. Absolutely priceless. A lot of people scream, others gasp, and some others let out a cry. I just smile.

"Why hello there District 4! I'm sure a lot of you must be surprised to see me in such hard shape, hm?" I get more gasps and murmurs from the crowd. I eye a peacekeeper to my right; he's giving me a warning look. "Well, you can thank the wonderful peacekeepers of 5, 6 and 7 for this." I move my body around. "Anyways, onto your tributes… Everyone saw what me and Annabelle were like during the games. She was the first person I met in the Capitol, and she was so kind. The second I saw her I liked her. I miss her a lot, and I wish she didn't have to die. These fucking capitolians must have some sick pleasure in seeing young children die, hey?" Shit. Wrong thing to say. Shit shit.

The peacekeeper comes over, back hands me to the face, hard enough that I topple over and a cut forms on my cheek. I hold it and stand back up. I look around the audience, and I see Finnick with the other victors almost on the verge of tears watching me get hurt like this. "Anyways, to continue. I'm really sorry about the way both of your tributes passed. Ky killing Mike, because Mike was attacking Annabelle. I wish it could have been different," I take a glance at the peacekeeper besides me, I want everyone to see what they do to me, so I say: "but obviously it can't because of the fucking president snow! Damn you president snow, you're going to hell!"

Yeah… I shouldn't have said that. The peacekeeper takes out his baton and raises it above his head. My eyes widen in fear as he brings it down across my stomach. It hurts extremely bad… I fall to the ground and curl up in a ball, rocking back and forth while screaming the whole time. They follow through with a few kicks, and I hear people shouting in the audience. No victor should be treated like this.

They continue kicking, I'm facing the audience in my ball form, searching faces. They suddenly stop, and I look up. There are all the victors of district 4, surround the peacekeepers.

Guess who's in front? You're right. Finnick Odair. "Stop." He says through gritted teeth; his hands are clenched into fists and he's trying his hardest to hold back.

The peacekeeper laughs in his face. Mags walks over to me, and bends down, wiping the hair from my face. "You okay, honey?" She helps me up.

I'm finally standing, but my knees buckle from in under me, so I crash back down again. This is definitely a first for the hunger games. No other victor has ever been this rebellious.

Mags gets another victor – Tilly – to help her pick me up. I nod to her in thanks. "Is this what our victors deserve now? Look at her! She's just got out of hell, and she's going through it all over again! She can't even stand!"

The peacekeeper backs away, mumbling something about me and motioning for us to go back stage. Tilly and Mags drag me along, and when we're finally back there I curl up on the floor again, clamping my hands over my ears & squeezing my eyes shut.

I must stay that way for a while, because I don't even realize most of the victors leaving. When I finally resurface from my own special world, the only people that are around me are Mags (Who is holding my hand), Tilly, Esmeralda, and Finnick who is playing with Trixie. I stare at them and smile, she loves him.

They are both laughing when Trixie screams "MAMA!"

Finnick turns to look at me and sighs in relief, "Thank god you're back."

I clear my throat, "Looks like you met Trixie?" My voice is now very hoarse from all the screaming.

"Yes, she's beautiful."

I sigh, "Okay. What am I going to do? I'm going to keep leaving more and more if this keeps happening."

Finnick, Tilly, and Mags looks worried; but Esmeralda just sighs. "I don't know what we can do. You have to be on your best behavior, Gemma. They could…" She stops, obviously not wanting to tell me, so Mags picks up where she left off.

She says in a very hushed and soothing voice, "They could take Trixie from you, Gemma."


	6. Chapter 5: Snake tongue woman

_Hey guys! I have a great idea for the up-coming games, but I still need a few male tributes! The next chapter is the capitol, then the chapter after that is the celebration in district one, and then after that it's the reaping! I have the female tributes for 1, 4 & 7; but I need boys! If no one submits any I'll just create them myself xD Anyways, hope you enjoy the chapter! I do not own the hunger games._

* * *

><p>When Mags tells me that, the first thing that pops into my mind Is how I'm going to kill Snow. I zone out, feeling my eyes glaze over and think. I could obviously shoot him, but that wouldn't be painful enough; he deserves to suffer. I could find a way to stab him to death. Or cut off all of his limbs one by one. Or burn him alive. Oh! I know! I can-<p>

"Gemma?" I feel someone shaking me. I come back to reality and find myself staring into the eyes of Mags.

"Huh?" I'm kind of confused.

"Did you hear what I just told you?" She asks me. I think. She told me they could take Trixie.

That's when I freak out. I jump up and start storming out the door, cursing my head off.

Finnick grabs my shoulders and I wince in pain. He drops his hands, "Where are you going?" He asks me.

"To call Snow. No one is going to lay a hand on my baby."

"Gemma, come on. You can't."

I flip around so I'm right in his face, "And why can't I? I've already broken most of the unwritten rules and I'm crazy, so why can't I?"

He sighs, "Just don't. Please, Gemma." I get distracted by looking at his beautiful face and muscular body that I say okay without realizing it. He smiles happily, sea green eyes shining.

I manage to take Trixie up in my good arm, teasing her and playing with her, as we walk off towards the feast. It surely isn't helping that we are late.

Once we're there I get to try all kinds of different sea food. Yeah, I've had some before, but not like this. This stuff is fresh and delicious. Me and Trixie sat by Finnick, and he was guiding us through the whole selection. It's rather amazing how much he knows about fish.

The night is finally over, and after receiving a few glares from some peacekeepers, I say good night to Finnick, Mags and Tilly (Finnick is acting very silly. He used a very seductive voice and kissed my cheek. Me being me and having my huge crush on him of course starts blushing like a fool and started stuttering) and heads to my room. Esmeralda offered to stay in our room with us, because she wanted to make sure I was okay during the night apparently. She's such a mother, it's annoying sometimes.

…

I open my eyes, and see Esmeralda sipping something in a mug staring at me with wide eyes. "What's your problem?" I ask her.

"Nothing, you were just thrashing around in your sleep. I tried waking you up but you hit me." She laughs, "I'm surprised you didn't wake Trixie."

She spoke to soon – Trixie starts crying. I hop up as fast as I can and go over to her. "Good morning, pretty girl." I pick her up and soothe her a bit, and she stops crying. "You sleep well?" I ask her. She babbles something and nods.

I get Trixie cleaned and dressed in a cute little dress provided from the Capitol, then hand her to Esmeralda so I can get dressed. I head to the bathroom, and look in the mirror. I look worse than yesterday. Purple bruises are all along my face and neck and some parts are a bit swollen. I just sigh and hurry to get dressed.

After another few minutes the three of us walk down to the dining hall where we meet Mitchell and Penelope. We have a big breakfast than head to the train.

…

District three went by fine; we're now on the way to District 2. Surprisingly, I didn't get any injuries there. The peacekeepers were actually nice, some of them even smiled at me. The victors were nice enough, too. Two of them, named Wiress and Beetee, sat with us at dinner. They really like Trixie.

Penelope starts a conversation, "So, Gemma, we are getting closer to the Capitol now; only one district left to go. I'm going to assume your talent is singing, correct?" Oh no, my talent! I forgot about that.

I roll my eyes, "No actually my talent is taking care of my daughter." Trixie giggles and I smile.

Penelope huffs, "When are you ever going to take anything seriously, Gemma? There is so much at stake, and you don't even care!"

"Wait, what? What's at stake?"

Her face drops and she looks at the floor. "No one… No one told you?"

I grow angry now. Everyone's keeping secrets from me, and it's about my life. How is that fair? "What is it Penelope," I snarl.

"I… I'm running late! I must go now!" She says, jumping up and scurrying away from me. God, she's annoying.

Esmeralda walks in through the door as Penelope's leaving. "Geez, what's with her?"

I wouldn't be surprised if smoke started coming out of my ears, I'm fuming. "What's going on."

"What are you talking about? Nothing's going on, Gem."

"Don't go giving me that bullshit, Es. I know something's going on. Penelope just told me there is, but she won't tell me what."

"Wait, She… She told you!" She's the one that's angry now.

"Don't change the subject-" I plug Trixie's ears for a second, which makes her laugh, "God Dammit!" I scream.

She kneels down beside me, placing one of her hands on my knees. "Okay, Gemma. You need to calm down and listen to me. I can't tell you-"

"What do you mean you can't tell me? I need to know! I can stop this, I can-"

"No. You can't do anything. Just shut up and be on your best behavior, will you?" She has some nerve, that's all I can tell you. But, I have even more nerve than her, so I gently sit Trixie down beside me then I swing my hardest at Esmeralda's face.

She spits out blood and shouts to me, "Gemma! What the hell!"

"Look, I'm sorry. I'm just tired of everyone keeping things from me and lying to me. Please. Please just tell me."

"Gemma, seriously; it's best if you don't know. Please just forget about it." And with that she gets up and leaves the room before I can reply. _What is so bad that it's better if I didn't know, just for my own good?_

…

I'm up on stage, about to start my speech. "Hi District 2, how are you all?" I hear murmurs of 'good' and 'great'. "That's good. Now where to start? I'll start with your boy tribute, Marcus. Well, Marcus was nice enough to me. We met the night of the chariot rides, and he was kind. I am very sorry that he had to die. He didn't deserve to be killed by that mutt-" A peacekeeper steps towards me and I stop myself from saying anything stupid. "It was very scary. Now your girl tribute. She was a tough component, Carla was. She was a great fighter and survivor. She killed my friend, Annabelle, so yes, Ky had to kill her. I didn't know her very well, but Ky did, and he told me about her. She sounded nice." I don't know why I'm being so nice to this dead girl. Oh right, I don't want to get beaten again. "Anyways, Thank you." I walk off the stage.

I collect Trixie from Esmeralda and she tells me I did a good job. I just nod. I meet all the victors then, and some of them are very scary! I mean, this one girl had each of her teeth filed into fangs (I think her name is like Enobaria or something) and when she smiled at me it freaked me out. I think they all like me though, so it's okay.

We eat the feast in silence, and that same victor sits across from me. Another sits beside me, and she has her tongue cut to look like a snake so it hisses. She's even scarier than the Enobaria girl.

Trixie has a great time with all the weird looking victors though, she finds it hilarious.

I'm actually dreading for this feast to be over, only because the next stop is the Capitol, and there I have to have my meeting with President Snow. I'm terrified to hear what he's going to say to me.

But unfortunately, the feast has just come to an end. We won't spend the night in this district, because it's such a short way away from the Capitol, so we go straight to the train. Once there I say goodbye to Enobaria & Snake-tongue woman, she hisses at me. Weird.

I start shaking after the train takes off, and Esmeralda orders me to sleep. So I take Trixie and we walk to our room, where we lie on the bed together, drifting off into an un-peaceful sleep.


	7. Chapter 6: My toys to play with

_It may be late until I get another Chapter Out tomorrow, so I thought I'd post this one tonight! No more tributes needed, thanks to everyone that submitted! I hope you like the chapter! Read and Review :)_

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p>I can honestly tell you I have never been so nervous before in my entire life. My prep team is currently yelling at me because I am shaking so much, as they're trying to do my nails. I'm not nervous for my interview, which is what they are prepping me for, but for what's happening after. It's a huge party, and guess who will be there? My favorite man ever, President Snow! If you can't tell, I'm ecstatic! (I hope you can since the sarcasm.)<p>

I don't know what he's going to tell me, it could be anything. "Gemma! Stop! We only have a half hour left and your nails aren't even finished!" Judith shrieks.

"Oh, calm down will you, Gemma. It's an interview, you've done plenty before!" Corbin adds.

I just sigh. They eventually finish, and Violet comes to dress me. She suits me in a dress that reaches my knees, that is a deep green on the bottom, but morphs into a sea blue at the top. It's strapless, of course, and there are purple bruises all along my chest with my scars.

"Um... Vi… Can we cover this today?" I ask pointing to my chest. A black eye is bad and a few cuts on my face is bad enough. Showing all of this is just going to make it worse.

Her face drops, and she looks like she's going to cry. "No! Definitely not! You got to show the people of the Capitol how they treat you!"

I don't even bother to argue with her, because I know I won't win. On the plus side, Trixie and Esmeralda will be with me for half of it. She puts the last few touches onto me, and then pushes me out of the door. I take a few deep breathes trying to calm myself before I walk onto the stage.

I must be taking too long, because a peacekeeper pushes me. It stead of walking onto the stage like a normal person, I fall flat on my face. I slowly stand up, holding my nose. It hurts like hell. I look around, the audience is silence; all cameras are on me; Caesar has his hand over his mouth, gasping. He suddenly rushes to my side to help me along.

"Oh, Ms. Stone, are you okay?"

I sit down in a chair next to him, still clutching my nose; I can feel blood gushing out of it, obviously ruining my dress. "Just peachy, Caesar. Can I maybe get some ice for this, please?" I ask in a girly voice.

"Definitely!" He says happily, while snapping his fingers. An Avox runs out with a bag of ice and a towel. I put the towel across my lap so it can soak up the blood, and place the ice on my nose. "I see you have a lot of… erm… unfortunate injuries?" He asks, nodding to the bruises, scars, and cast on my arm.

"Yeah… well… I'm-" A peacekeeper makes a fist and glares at me off stage, so I catch myself. "I'm very clumsy. " It's so obvious I'm lying, it's ridiculous.

He nods and gives me a very sad smile. "So…. How is your life as a victor so far?"

I snort, and then wince. "It sucks, Caesar."

He gasps, "And Whys that?"

"Being a victor has made me a lot more… clumsy, shall I say." I say very sarcastically so everyone knows I'm lying. His eyes flicker to the many peacekeepers around the stage and he nods.

"Well, at least now you have more free time to spend with your daughter, and to work on your talent. How is Trixie by the way?"

I smile through the pain, "She's great. She loves meeting all the victors. Would you like to see her?"

He smiles brightly, "Sure! That would be wonderful! Would you all like that?" He asks the crowd. They all go nuts.

The same Avox carries Trixie out, and I take her from him and thank him. He just scurries away, afraid. "Hi Mama!" Trixie says in her cute little voice.

"Hi baby, say hi to Caesar." She looks at Caesar, who's smiling from pure joy. He mustn't see many little children up here.

"Seezaw?" She looks up at me and asks. His name is way too hard for her to say. The crowd is adoring this.

"Yes, this is Caesar. Are you going to say hi?" I push one of her cute curls out of her face. She puts half of her face into my bruised chest, trying to hide, while mumbling out a little hi. I try my hardest not to wince but it doesn't work. Caesar laughs.

"Hello Trixie." He says, she smiles.

"Wha dat Mama?" She asks me, pointing to the bag of ice.

"Oh, nothing, Trix. Now Sh, Mommy's talking to Caesar, ok?"

"Otay!" She says, and starts tracing my scars to keep herself busy. She seems to do that a lot.

"You're a great mother, Gemma!" Caesar says, still watching Trixie.

"Yeah, well…"

"Let's move on, shall we?" I nod. "Many of our viewers are dying to know, how are you coping without Ky?"

I was hoping, _praying,_ he wouldn't bring him up. After all that's been going on, one little thing can set me off for a breakdown. I can feel it coming on. I don't even notice I've been crying when he hands me a tissue.

"Oh, thank you." I say, taking it. "Well… it's… it's really hard. I think about him every day. I-" My voice breaks and I can't continue.

"It's fine, you can have a minute." He says. He takes this time to ask Trixie about her mommy's scars. "So, you touch them a lot, hm?"

She doesn't understand him, she just cocks her head to the side and stares at him. He laughs. "Your hair Pwink!" She exclaims. That's the color of him this year, Pink. Pink suit, pink hair, pink eye shadow.

"Yes, Yes it is." He says.

"I wike pwink!" He smiles, and she starts to hop up and down on my lap. "Twixee have pwink hair wike Seezaw!"

I calm her down, and the crowd and Caesar are laughing loudly at her. I smile.

"I'm sure you will one day, Trixie, if your mother allows it!"

I laugh this time, "Yeah, I don't think so! No daughter of mine is dying her hair pink." Trixie starts to pout and the crowd laughs again. I answer a few more questions, and finally its over. I didn't have a breakdown, luckily.

We make our way to the huge party, afterwards. Tons and tons of people come to talk to me, and a lot of them look at me weirdly. I've never seen that look on someone before, besides from Finnick when he was joking that night before we left when he was using his seductive- NO!

No. Just no. Half of these men are as old as my father, that's disgusting! They must just be joking around like Finnick was.

We continue on through the night, and one of the nice capitol women hands me a glace of something and tell me to drink it in the bathroom. I'm thinking it must be alcohol and she doesn't want to get caught giving someone underage a drink. So I go on, and once I get to the bathroom I chug it down. It tastes disgusting, and suddenly I'm vomiting. I race to the toilet, and dunk my head over just in time.

I've never thrown up so much before in my life. But the weirdest thing is after it's over. I shrug it off and rinse my mouth before walking back out.

As soon as I walk out the door, guess who I bump into?

President Snow!

He was looking for me, obviously. I bump into him and fall to the floor, wincing from the pain. He offers me his hand to help me up, I don't know what else to do besides take it. "Ah, Ms Stone. There you are. I've been looking for you all night." _Yeah, and I've been avoiding you all night. _"Come, come. Let's go somewhere more private to talk, hm?"

"No, it's okay. I think we should stay here, I got to get back to Trixie and-"

"It wasn't a question, Mr Stone. Now come along." He cuts me off as he walks away. I curse under my breath but follow him into a room. He sits in a chair, and offers me one.

"It's okay, Sir. I'm fine standing, thanks."

"Suit yourself." He looks at me strangely. "Now, my my. Where to begin with you?"

I glare at him, "Why don't you tell me about my surprise awaiting me at home?"

"Actually, I have a few surprises. We'll talk about them in a minute. Why don't you go ahead and tell me your measly excuse for all the rebellion talk?"

"I wasn't in my right mind then, sir." Is all I can say.

"You better have not been in your right mind. You must realize my dear, that one more wrong move will make you a childless woman."

My jaw drops. "You wouldn't… You wouldn't kill her? Not Trixie! Please! She's so young and-"

"Oh calm down. Like I said, you be on your best behavior and we should be fine."

"Okay, I promise. Just don't hurt her. Please."

"Perfect. Now that that's settled, let's move onto you're surprises. Your surprise waiting for you at home will be a package. You will open it after your party, are we clear?"

I nod. It can't be that bad if it's just a package. I worried for nothing.

"And the second thing, is when your daughter reaches the fine age of 3, in a year and a half. You will provide your services here at the capitol, whenever you come."

"Wait a second? What services? I don't have a job?" I'm so clueless.

He laughs and rolls his eyes. "You do now. You will be a courtesan here at the capitol, for any capitol man that may want you."

I finally get it, and what do I do? Snort. "Ha! Yeah right am I going to be a capitol bimbo and sell my body to people old enough to be my father, especially when I have a daughter! I do believe you are the mentally ill one here, sir!" I scream in his face.

He gets up and slaps me across the face. I trip in my dress and crash to the floor. I look up at the evil man standing above me. "Well, perhaps after you receive your little present you will change your mind. I will give you till the day after you return home to decide. You will call me here at the Capitol to tell me your answer. And just remember when you're thinking: You're all my toys to be played with, Ms Stone, and I might just want to play with Carter and Trixie next."

* * *

><p><em>Sorry about the length! And to anyone that may ask, I'm not quite sure if career victors are usually sold into prostitution or not, but Gemma is. Because She's special and rebellious. ;) Anyways I hope you liked it!<em>


	8. Chapter 7: We can all be together

_Just a filler chapter! Great chapters coming up next! (: Hope you like it, Review! _

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p>You wouldn't believe how fast I jump up from the floor and get out of his door. As I'm running I hear his extremely loud laugh echoing through the room filled with people. I stop for a second, completely rip my dress so it's above my knees, and start running again. I've never run this fast before. I need to go somewhere; I don't know where yet, but somewhere.<p>

I clamp my hands over my ears, and keep on running, trying to ignore the looks the capitol men are giving me. They make me sick. I can't even look at any of them anymore, it's disgusting.

Suddenly someone steps directly into my path. I crash into them. I seem to be spending a lot of time on the floor lately.

I just know all the cameras are on me now. I don't even bother to look at who I crashed into. I just curl up into a ball and squeeze my eyes shut. I can hear someone talking to me, shaking me, but I'm gone now. I'm hoping it's not for good, but I just can't deal with this right now.

I peek one eye open for one split second, then close it again. There's cameras and reporters and people all around me. Someone grabs my arm, and pulls me up from my ball form. No.

My knees are jelly, and I can't stand. I crash back to the floor again. That same person scoops me up into their arms, and I start thrashing around. I don't want to be touched right now.

I keep my eyes shut, but remove my hands so I can hear. All I hear is commotion, people talking and cameras clicking. I start screaming at the top of my lungs, my fists and elbows coming in contact with a few people.

Someone's hands are on my face, and I immediately stop. I'm terrified. This is probably some disgusting old man, holding my face still so he can kiss me. I slowly open my eyes, and it's not an old man. It's Esmeralda. "Gemma, Sweetheart, calm down. Sh."

"Es?" I whisper, searching her face with my eyes. She looks completely worried and a little frightened.

"Let's go to the train, sh." She soothes. All the people and reporters in the room have gone dead silent.

"Put me down!" I shriek. It was very unnecessary for me to scream, but oh well.

"Gemma, calm down. It's Mitchell, he's going to carry you."

"No! Esmeralda No I- I can …" She makes a motion, bringing one of her fingers to her lips telling me to be quiet so I do. "Mitchell." I whisper.

"Yeah, Gem?"

"I'm sorry about hitting you." I lean my head into his chest. He may be muscular, but he's comfortable.

"It's fine." Is all he says. I hear Esmeralda telling everyone to go home, and for someone to find Penelope and Trixie.

"Trixie!" I yell again, suddenly alert.

"Gemma, listen to me. She's okay. She's with Penelope."

There's no use for me to fight them; they'll just have me sedated. I close my eyes again and bring my hands to my ears.

'_Gemma? You're going to be fine.'_ I hear a voice say in my head. Ky!

"Ky!" I say out loud.

'_Yeah, it's me. I told you I would take to you in your head sometimes, didn't I?' _

I laugh. Mitchell must think I'm gone nuts. "Good. I miss you."

'_I know you do, I miss you too. But you have to stay strong, for Trixie, okay? She needs you.'_

"But I want to be with you Ky!"

'_You know you can't do that, you can't leave Carter and Trixie.'_

"But I bet it's so much better where you are, we can all come, the three of us. We can all be together."

'_No Gemma, no we can't.'_

"Why not!" I scream this, and I hear us enter the train. Fake Ky is silent, I remove one hand off of my ear so I can half listen to Esmeralda and Mitchell.

"…going to be with Ky…"

"…the three of them…"

"…No! She needs to go to…"

I place my hand back to its spot. "Ky? Come back, please!" I whisper.

'_Gemma, I have to go. You can't come with me yet. You're staying with your daughter wither you like it or not. I love you, Gem. Don't forget about me, Kay?'_

"Ky, I love you too, don't leave! Don't go!" But I already know he's gone. I slowly open my eyes, Esmeralda and Mitchell are both knelt in front of me.

"Gemma, honey, who were you just speaking to?" Es asks me.

"K-ky." I don't want to tell them about Ky, they will just say I'm crazy.

She nods, "Gemma, what just made you leave?" I look down, not wanting to answer. "Gemma, you can tell us. It's okay."

"It was Snow." I say in such a quiet whisper I can barely hear myself.

"And what did Snow say?" She's talking to me like I'm a child again, I hate it.

"He said… when Trix is three… I got to…. No I can't tell you... It's not safe for Carter."

"If you don't tell me right now, I'm going to go talk to Snow this instinct." And here comes the stricter mother side of her. I just shake my head, not believing her, but she runs out of the room. Uh oh.

Me and Mitchell just sit in silence for what seems like forever, and I start to wonder where Trixie is. She must still be with Penelope.

I hear a door slam and look up, Esmeralda just walked into the room and she's burning red with anger. I've never seen her like this. "That _Bleeping_ piece of _Bleep_!" She starts pacing, "He can't _bleeping_ do this to her! It's not fair! Doesn't he realize that this is going to _bleep_ her up even worse? Holy _bleep!" _Only she isn't saying 'Bleep'…. Her little rant goes on for a while.

She finally calms down, when she gets it out of her system. "Gemma… Oh my gosh."

I sigh, "Hmhm. Yeah. Well."

"Is someone ready to tell me what's going on?" Mitchell asks. God he's so clueless.

"Mitch, will you leave the room for a minute, please?" Esmeralda asks sweetly. I can tell she's trying her hardest not to freak out. He just groans, and tells us he's going to find Trixie before walking out.

"What am I going to do, Es?"

She sighs, "We'll figure out something. For now you still have to be on your best behavior. He said that no one can know, besides from me. But Gemma... You need to know, you're not alone in this."

I snort, hurting my broken nose, "How am I not alone? No one else has gone through the abuse I'm going through, and the whole different kind of abuse I'm going to go through!"

"Well, actually, I know of a few victors who have been or still are what you're going to be."

My eyes widen, "What? Who?"

She thinks for a moment, "Well… You know Haymitch Abernathy? Right?" I nod, "If I do recall, he was one for a few years after his games. But then he turned to his drinks and no one wanted him anymore… There's also Seeder, from eleven, a few from one, and Finnick Odair."

I gasp. Not Finnick, he doesn't deserve that! I guess it's because of how amazingly good looking he is, but still. He's so nice! "No! Not Finnick! He's a year younger than me! He… he won his games a fourteen!"

"He started a year later. He's been doing it for two years now, I'm sure he could help you out when the time comes."

I sigh. "I don't want to do this, Es."

"I know you don't, and we'll try our hardest to get you out of it. But right now, according to snow if you know what's best you'll agree."

"By the way, did he say anything to you about a package for me at home?" I question. Her reaction Is freaky. He face turns ghostly white, and she drops her gaze from my eyes. She's fooling around with something in her fingers, _what is it?_ "What is it?" I ask. She doesn't reply, only keeps fumbling with the thing in her hand.

I hold out my hand for her to hand it over, and she complies. My jaw drops when I see it.

It's my mother's favorite thing – A silver necklace with a little diamond on the end of it. She never takes it off, not even to sleep or shower. I've only seen it once or twice, by accident.

I look a little closer at it, and notice that there's some dried red stuff on the diamond and the chain. I chip a bit off and it finally clicks in my head: _oh my god. It's blood. _

_What have they done to my mother?_


	9. Chapter 8: You are my sunshine

_Hey guys, Hope you like that chapter ! Read and Review please, they make me happy! :)_

_Disclaimer: I do not own the hunger games, or this beautiful song - Johnny Cash do xD_

* * *

><p>"He wouldn't tell me what he did! He just said to give it to you!" Esmeralda manages to spit out before I have time to object.<p>

"Oh…my…" I sink to my knees, and just stay there at a loss for words, looking at the necklace in my hand. I swallow. "Maybe… maybe it's nothing? I mean, we'll find out soon enough, right?" We're on our way back to district 1 now. She just sighs.

"Mama!" Trixie waddles in through the door way over to me, Mitchell chasing after her and laughing.

"Hi, pretty girl. Were you being good for Uncle Mitchy over there?" He hates when I call him Uncle Mitchy, so I do. She giggles and looks at the ground.

"Don't call me Uncle Mitchy, Gemma! How many times have I told you that?" he says, walking over and scooping Trixie up in his arms, tickling her. She laughs and tries to get out of his grip.

"Sorry, Mitchell. It's just… been a long day." I play with the necklace for a few more seconds before curling my fist up around it.

"Are you gonna tell me what happen?" He asks, making a gesture with one of his hands by lightly covering Trixie's ear, wondering if she should listen.

"Let me take her, we're going to bed. Es can tell you if she wants, wake us when we're close to home."

He nods and gives Trixie to me "Come on, Princess. Time for sleep."

She stares at my face, probably looking at my injuries, "But I not sweepy, mama."

"Mommy is!" I tell her, stifling a laugh. I fake yawn, and she really yawns. "See, I knew you were tired!"

She just pouts, but doesn't object. Once we're up in the room, I change into more comfortable clothes, and then put her in her Pajamas. There are little pink monkeys on them. "I a Monkee, I a monkee!" She shrieks.

"Yeah, well, monkey's need sleep too. Now clothes your eyes, I'll sing to you." She does as she's told, and I begin to sing:

"_The other night dear, as I lay sleeping  
>I dreamed I held you in my arms<br>But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken  
>So I hung my head and I cried.<em>

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
>You make me happy when skies are gray<br>You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
>Please don't take my sunshine away<p>

_I'll always love you and make you happy,  
>If you will only say the same.<br>But if you leave me and love another,  
>You'll regret it all some day<em>

_You told me once, dear, you really loved me  
>And no one else could come between.<br>But now you've left me and love another;  
>You have shattered all of my dreams:<em>

In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me  
>When I awake my poor heart pains.<br>So when you come back and make me happy  
>I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame.<p>

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
>You make me happy when skies are gray<br>You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
>Please don't take my sunshine away"<p>

I look down at my child before lying down myself. That's her favorite one I sing, she falls asleep instantly to it every time I sing it. I repeat the lyrics in my head, over and over. _You'll never know dear, how much I love you… Please don't take my sunshine away._ Now that I sing that in my mind, I find it creepy how much it suits my life right now.

_Please don't take… my sunshine… away…_ are the last words I remember before falling asleep.

…

"Gemma! Gemma wake up! We have to get you prepped for your party!" I listen to Violet go on and on, and I just groan. "You'll get to see Carter there!"

I shoot up from my pillow at his name, "Carter!" I yell.

She laughs, "Well, that got you up didn't it! Now hurry up, we must go!"

So I go and suffer through my prep team transforming my body. They put me in a brown dress this time, one that covers my chest. They probably don't want carter to see the purple bruises still underneath.

They finally finish, and the brown dress is gorgeous. I normally hate brown on me, but this one looks fabulous! It's got white lace all over it, and I'm wearing white heels that match. "Wow.." I breath.

"You like it!" Violet is out of herself in all of the excitement.

"I love it. Thank you, Vi." I hug her, realizing that there is no way to cover my still blackened eye or my now bandage covered nose; also the cuts and bruises on my face and arms, not to mention my arm that's in a cast.

We arrive in the station, and I'm pushed out on stage to make my final speech. I look around the crowd of shocked faces, only to see Carter's face plastered with terror. He noticed all of my injuries. Wonderful.

"Wow, it's so great to be home!" I smile, truly smile.

"What have they done to you!" Some random citizen calls out from the audience.

"I'm fine, really. I'm here to make my final speech, and I want to thank you all for being so supportive with me-"

I get cut off by another person, "How are you fine? Look at you! Look at all of your injuries! What have they done?"

I sigh as a peacekeeper moves towards me. I know exactly what he's about to do, he's going to hit me to show them that they have the power here. I was correct, and I'm knocked to the ground. I spit out blood on the wood of the stage, and the crowd explodes.

Everyone's yelling, screaming and crying. I look to see Carter, only to notice the tears streaming down his face and that he's gone pale white. People are trying to talk to him, but he is ignoring them –zoned out- focused on me.

"EVERYONE QUIET!" I scream into the microphone. Everyone stops what they're doing to look at me. It's so quiet, that I hear a coin drop in the crowd. "Thank you. Now there's no need to overreact to this, I have it under control. I just want everyone to be happy, and have a good time tonight. I'm so glad that you're all concerned, but please. Don't be." I walk off the stage.

Penelope hands me Trixie, who looks so cute. "We see daddy, mama?"

I smile, "Yes, we'll see daddy, little monkey."

So we continue walking until we reach our justice building, where there are reports and cameras waiting. I tuck Trixie's head into my shoulder, and duck mine.

"Gemma!" I hear Carter scream. I look up and see him running full force towards me.

"Carter! Oh god Carter, I missed you so much-" He cuts me off by kissing me, and it hurts my nose. I wince and pull away. "Sorry, broken nose."

He cups my face in his hands and whispers so quietly I can barely hear him, "What have they done to you?"

"I don't want to talk about it, I'll tell you later?" I say, kissing his cheek. He smiles.

"Daddy!" Trixie squirms around in my arms, trying to get to Carter. He takes her.

"Hey Sweetheart," He kisses her forehead, "I missed you! Did you have a good time with Mommy?"

Then she starts telling him all the things about it that her little mind can remember, meeting the victors, being on stage, dying her hair pink, and her monkey pajamas.

He listens closes the whole time, and I can't stop smiling. I really love him.

The night goes by without a hitch. A lot of the time is spent mingling with old friends or dancing. Trixie has a great time dancing with Carter, and I have to admit I did too. He's a wonderful dancer.

We're walking back to our house now, Trixie's asleep in my good arm, head on my cast. "By the way, a package came for you while you were away. I was going to open it, but it's not really my business." He tells me. I gulp. It's from snow.

"Thanks, where is it?" I ask as we walk in through the house.

"Over there." He directs me to the kitchen, where there's a big box on the table. I tell him to put Trixie to bed.

He leaves the room and I grab a knife to start to open the box. When I open the top the first thing I notice is the stink of roses. I cough and grab the card that is in it.

"_Don't forget to call me tomorrow with your decision, my dear. Remember, next time this could be Carter. President Snow." _

This could be Carter? What? I search through the box, tossing the card away. I keep feeling around until I feel something wet and sticky. I take my hand out in disgust, and it's dripping blood. My eyes widen, and I dump the box out on the table. The first thing I do is scream, then start throwing up all over my kitchen floor.

In the box, was the smiling, eyes wide open, bleeding head of my mother.

* * *

><p><em>I hope you all liked the chapter! I was thinking of songs my mom used to sing to me when I was young, and this one way my favorite - and it suits what's happening right now in the story! I'm super excited because the hunger games tickets come out tomorrow :D:D:D Is anyone else going to the premier March 23rd in your Citytown? Leave your answers in the review_!


	10. Chapter 9: We could have been friends

_Hey Guys :) I figured I'd post this one today too, because I'm in such a great mood! :) Thanks to _QueenOfSwordsAndFire_ for the wonderful Ash Lockheart!_

_Read and Review!_

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p><strong>6 months later<strong>

* * *

><p>I feel Carters arm wrap around me as I begin to sob and shake. That's how I wake every morning and at least two times in the night. It doesn't help that today is reaping day – I get to mentor two innocent kids, and send them off to their deaths. The only good thing about today is that there's no way Carter can get reaped, and that Trixie isn't old enough to be.<p>

In the past 6 months, things have changed… some for the better, but most for the worst. I have more and more moments where I go to my own special place with Ky, so someone has to be with me to watch Trixie at all times.

I can't sleep on my own anymore, in fear of the nightmares, and it's so bad now that two weeks ago my doctor prescribed sleeping pills for me.

My Mom joined the list of people that are haunting me… Sometimes she interrupts my time with Ky, and surprisingly she's nice now. I have no idea where my father is, I haven't seen him since before my games. I think the capitol has him, but what do I know.

My friends are keeping so many secrets from me, they don't tell me anything anymore. They're scared I'll 'leave' again. They tell Carter nothing either, he has no idea about me having to go into prostitution this time next year. If they are worried about me leaving them quite often now, I can't wait until next year rolls around. They'll see it then.

I called Snow the day after I found my mom... he was delighted, laughing and joking around with me.

Nobody knows how disgusted and scared I was that day I found her… Carter came and found me, passed out in my vomit. When I finally woke up, all evidence of the package was gone, except for her necklace (which I wear everyday in honor of her). We don't talk about it, ever. We pretend like it didn't happen, except when I have my nightmares 3 times a night, or I'm throwing up. I puke whenever I think of the memory, which is at least once a day. I don't know how I'm going to handle mentoring this year.

On the plus side, Two good things have happened these past months! I got my cast off, and most of my injuries are healed, except for the scars of course. And I've spent a lot of time with Trixie! She knows how to keep up a conversation now, and she keeps asking about the victors. She's delighted – today is her birthday, and she gets to see all of her friends again.

I finally calm down and stop crying, "Can you believe it, Carter? It's been one year… This time last year I was on my way to your house, cause my… my…" I can't say it.

"Sh.. I know." He says.

I leave him sat up in bed, to go get Trixie. I walk in, and she's sat up in her bed. That's another change, she sleeps in her own 'big girl bed' now. "Happy birthday, little monkey!"

She giggles and slings her arms around my neck, I pick her up. "We get to see Trixie's friends soon, mama?"

"Of course! We're going on a vacation today, remember? To the capitol. You get to spend a lot of time with your friends." She squeals in delight. I love seeing her so happy.

I put her in a purple dress – her favorite dress – and pick her up, giving her to Carter. He kisses me before taking her, and I smile, "Happy birthday, Princess." He tells her. I leave them and walk to get dressed myself.

Violet shipped in a dress for me to wear today, but I'm not wearing it. This day is not a joyous occasion. I shove on blue jeans and a plain pink top, good enough.

I walk through the house, reaching the front door. I scream out, telling them I'm going next door to Esmeraldas. She wanted to talk to me.

I make it over there, through the fog, and she greets me, "Hey, Gem. How did you sleep?"

"How do you think I slept? It was the night before the one year anniversary of the ruination of my life." I roll my eyes.

"Have you… talked to Ky lately?" She was searching for words.

"Maybe." I shrug. I don't want to tell her.

"I uh… talked to your doctor yesterday."

I narrow my eyes at her, "What did he say." Mad wouldn't be the word of the emotion I'm feeling right now. She holds out her hand to me, and in it is a little jar of pills. I growl, "And what's this?"

She looks at them, "He said that if you ever feel like you're going to… leave… than to take one. If you don't, then we can always force it down."

"Ugh. So I am officially crazy? I'm on medication now, so I actually am?" I'm not mad any more, I'm just sad.

"I'm sorry, Gem."

I run out of her house, not taking the bottle, and just walk around the district until the reaping start. It isn't even fit how many dirty looks and stares I receive from people.

It's only 20 minutes left till the reaping begins, so I head off to the square. I make it there just in time, and I take my seat next to Esmeralda on stage. I slump down in my chair so far.

Penelope gets up on the stage. She goes through the history of Panem, all kinds of boring junk, then she introduces past victors. You are supposed to stand up, smile and wave. I slump down further and role my eyes. I feel children snickering in the audience, I glare at them.

"And now, the female tribute of district 1 is… Ash Lockheart!" A girl, she looks around 16, has a path cleared in front of her in the audience. She turns in a complete circle, looks up on the stage and starts running her mouth.

"Fuck this! These games are bullshit, I'm not taking part of shit all!" She screams. I smirk, as she slowly walks onto the stage. I narrow my eyes at her, sizing her up. She's wearing tight pants, a leather jacket and clunky black boots. She also has short jet black hair that reaches her chin and gorgeous eyes. I'm jealous of them. They look like cats eyes, and they are a very bright green. And to top it off, she has short black eye lashes that makes it look like she's wearing eyeliner when she's not.

She keeps cursing, shouting swear words. She reminds me of me. Strange.

On impulse, I stand up from my chair, making it squeak. Esmeralda grabs my arm, but I jerk it away. Everyone's eyes are on me, including Penelopes and The tribute. "Look at this bad ass!" I storm up to her so I'm looking down right in her face, only a inch or two away. I notice her taking in my scars, and she narrows her eyes. "You think you're so tough?" I hiss at her, she doesn't know anything about being a victor.

"Yes actually." She says as she rolls her eyes. She takes her hands up and pushes my shoulders back. I raise my arms to swing at her, when I'm knocked over.

"God dammit!" I scream "Who did that?" She smirks at me lying on the stage. I actually think she's got what it takes to make it far in these games. She has the guts.

"It was the peacekeeper!" She says, trying to hold in a laugh. I growl and jump up. I notice the peacekeeper, he's standing next to the girl.

"Seriously? Are you gonna beat me here too? I figured I had enough of that in the other districts!" I hear gasps as I stomp back to my seat. Most of the victors got their heads in their hands and I laugh at them.

"Um… Gemma? Was there a need for that? Anyways, let's continue on with our male tribute shall we?" I roll my eyes and slouch in my chair. "And our male tribute is Roland Nichols!"

A huge boy, he must be 18, runs up to the stage with a huge grin on his face. He thinks he's going to win this. I roll my eyes, he must think it's so great being a victor. "I am proud to present-" I cut Penelope off as I stomp off the stage, completely pissed off.

But I think the real reason I am so mad, is because before I was reaped last year, those two kids might have been my friends. Now at least one of them will die. Notice I said at least.


	11. Chapter 10: Trapped beneath the darkness

Sorry for such a short chapter! It's just kind of a filler! Next chapter we will get to see all the past victors again, and get to see the opening ceremonies :D It will be longer, I promise! But until then, review and tell me your thoughts!

I do not own the hunger games!

* * *

><p>"Gemma. Stop it. Now! You can't act like that, especially around the tributes!" Esmeralda yells while she's chasing after me.<p>

"HA! I can do whatever the fuck I want to, I'm crazy!" I twist on my heals, and she stops an inch from my face. I can feel her breath. "By the way," I hiss, "Where are those pill to? I'd like to see what kind of effect they have on me."

She says nothing, just shoves her hands in her pockets and pulls out a jar of pills, which she hands to me. I slowly open the lid, and take a step away from her. I know what I have to do. I can't handle this anymore. _I'm coming to you Ky._

I pretend as if I'm reaching my fingers in the container, take a quick glance at Esmeralda, who's staring at me, and then chug back the bottle of pills.

I hear Esmeralda scream my name, a few pills slide down my throat, and the thud of my head hitting the ground before I black out.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

I'm awake before I open my eyes. I don't want to open my eyes. I don't want to have to face everyone after my failed suicide attempt. I know I'm not dead because my head is pounding, and if I was dead I wouldn't be in any pain. Plus I'd be with Ky right now, not trapped beneath the darkness of my own eyes.

I groan as I slowly open my eyes, the light hurts my head. Ouch. I try to move my hand, only to figure out that they are handcuffed to the bed. Wonderful.

So I just lie there, groaning and moaning in pain for I don't know how long. I know we're on the train though, cause I can feel it moving and stopping.

The door flies open and in walks Esmeralda, I can't look her in the eyes. "Why would you do this Gemma?" She asks, sitting down at my left side and searching my face for my eyes.

I snap my head to the right, and ignore her. "The reason why your hands are tied down is because you can't be trusted right now. Not when you just tried to-" Her voice is cut off by a sob. She's crying? She never cries!

I turn my head back around to face her, and she's got her face buried in her hands. She's shaking from the sobs. "Es? Sh. It's okay."

"I'm so, so sorry Gem. I'm supposed to help you, but I just make your life worse! It's all my f-fault!" She wails.

"No, it's not your fault. It's the capitols. I wasn't in my right mind when I tried that, I'm crazy, remember?" She laughs a bit and stops crying. "What happened anyways? After I blacked out?"

"Well the tributes went to say good bye to their families and friends, so we rushed you off the hospital where you got your stomach pumped. Then we just transported you to the train and kept you here. A few doctors came with us, and you have to take medication regularly now. They will give it to you in a needle form, since you can't be trusted with pills."

I snort, "Damn right I can't be trusted with pills. At least they're smart enough doctors. Can you get me out of this place?"

"Yeah, that's why I was coming to wake you actually, dinner starts soon. They'll give you your first shot down there."

I roll my eyes. Of course it's got to be in front of the tributes. She unlocks the handcuffs, and helps me up from the bed. "You want to change?" She asks me.

I nod and walk over to the dresser in the room. I take out a pair of sweat pants and a overly large t shirt. Oh well. Penelope won't be happy, but who cares?

She guilds me to the dining cart by my arm. Like I don't know where it is.

Everyone else is already sat down eating. Esmeralda sits by Mitchell, and I sit in between Esmeralda and Penelope. Trixie is on the other side of Penelope, and then there's the tributes. "Hello everyone, sorry we're late." Esmeralda greets.

I just slam down in my chair, sliding down into it. Esmeralda gives me a 'be-nice' look, but I ignore it. No one will meet my eye. No one says a word. They're all terrified of me.

"Ms Stone, we're here with your medication." A doctor, who I didn't even notice walk up to the table, breaks the silence.

Ash and Roland stare at me with wide eyes. Ash's eyes flicker with some other emotion instead of her 'I hate the world' usual one. What was it? Pity? Sorrow? I don't know.

"Right." I say, giving them my arm. They inject the needle and I feel like I'm being cleaned of all emotions instantly. "Woah, what is that stuff?" I ask.

They just laugh as they walk off, I growl.

"Um… Are you okay, Ms stone?" Roland asks me.

"HA! Call me Gemma. And sure. If you consider having to be injected with drugs every few hours because of your mental state okay."

He just offers a small smile. Ash is still silent, so I decide to ask her about her necklace. "Where did you get your necklace, girl?" Why I just called her girl, I don't know. I sound old. But I'm only two years older than her. Oh well.

"I got it for my birthday." Is all she offers, with an eye roll of course. I don't think she likes me very well. I guess it doesn't really matter; she'll more than likely be dead within a few weeks.

I really actually like her necklace a lot, it's a flame. I guess that she wears it because of her name, you know Ash, like ash from a fire?

I just shrug and pick as my food. I drop my fork abruptly and look at the marks around my wrists. They are red and puffy from the handcuffs.

"Have any advice for us?" Roland asks us three mentors.

Before either of the others can answer, I do. I tell them what I wish I could have followed by. If only I could take my own advise.

I rub my wrists and look them both straight in the eye while I tell them,

"I sure do. Don't win."


	12. Chapter 11: Bedazzled

_Hey everyone! Bit of a longer chapter for you all :) I hope you like it!I wrote it during my french class today; my teacher was giving my class a lecture, as always, and I got really bored, so I wrote this! Well half of this; then she got mad at me and took my paper away :( But anyways, leave me reviews and tell me your thoughts! They mean a lot to me! _

_The amazing district 4 & 7 females were submitted by jadesaturday & 2B-Ing . Us . 4once; thanks guys! :)_

_I do not own the hunger games! _

* * *

><p>I smile and wait for their reactions. "Gemma!" Esmeralda shrieks. I smirk at her.<p>

Both the tributes look terrified, staring at me with wide eyes and dropped jaws. I find this very funny, that they are so shocked by me saying this, so I burst out in my psychotic laughter. I mean, If I'm going to be called crazy, why not embrace it? After a few minutes I calm down. "What?"

"You- You can't go around saying things like that! You need to help them, to give them advice!"

I snort. "Yeah, you helped me so much didn't you? My life after the arena is worse than being in the arena itself! Thanks for all the help!" I snap at her. I regret it as soon as the words are off my tongue. I know it's not her fault, I shouldn't be blaming her.

Before she can answer me, Roland speaks. "Yeah? Well, maybe we won't turn out like you, considering we won't have to kill our allies and let our best friends die for our protection!" He practically screams at me, and he's burning red. That's one of the meanest things I've ever heard.

The table goes quiet, and Roland looks at his plate. My face goes white. "You see her over there?" I ask Roland, calmest voice I've ever had. I nod to Trixie.

"Uh huh." Roland and Ash both reply, not that I was talking to Ash.

"Yeah, well, that's why I had to do those things. I couldn't leave my child alone in this horrible world, she needs a mother." I lower my voice so it's just a whisper, only Esmeralda, Ash and Roland can hear me; Mitchell and Penelope are busy playing with Trixie. "And I swear. I swear on my mother's grave that if there was something I could have done to save Ky… and Marigold… And Annabelle…. And Juniper…" My voice breaks and I fool with my wrists again, tears landing on them. "I would have done it."

That same emotion flashes in Ash's eyes again, but it lasts longer this time. "The reason why I said I wouldn't win if I were you, is because I don't want either of you to have to live like I do… it's horrible. I'm crazy, I can't sleep, I'm taking tons of different kinds of medication, I have to sell-" I get cut off by a sob. "You two just don't deserve the life I live. That's all."

And then I get up from the table, pick up Trixie and leave the room. I glance over my shoulder once more, and notice that all four of them are gaping at me walking away.

…

A few hours later, I'm still sat on the couch, when Ash comes over to me. "Hey," She says cautiously. She takes a seat across from me and Trixie, who is curled up on my shoulder, asleep.

"Hi…" I look away.

"I'm… I'm uh… Sorry, about what Roland said earlier. I had no idea what your life was like…" She trails off.

"Hey, it's cool." I say.

She snorts, I'm glad the Ash I'm used to is back. "Good."

I roll my eyes. "Anyways, any advise you need?" I ask her.

"Sure. What do you think they will put me in, like for the opening ceremonies?"

"I'm not sure. And trust me; you're not going to like what they do to you. At all. But you're going to put up with it and not complain if you don't want me to freak out at you." She laughs at my statement, but I was being completely serious.

An alarm goes off, signalling we are minutes away from the capitol. Trixie would love to see it, so I wake her up. "Hey, little monkey, we're close now, you should get up."

"Yay!" She squeals, sitting up and latching herself onto my neck. I stand up and carry her.

Ash gets up too, and follows. "So, what exactly do they do to us?" Ash whispers in my ear.

"Horrible, horrible things." I say. We laugh.

We meet up with the other victors, escort, and tribute. Roland won't look me in the eye, and I find it annoying. "Now Gemma, as soon as we pull in, I'll show you to your room, then you will go meet the other victors in the victor's lounge. Sound good?" Penelope explains.

I nod, great.

We're ushered off the train once it's pulled in, and the tributes are torn away from us. Penelope guilds us into a building after being swarmed by Cameras and reporters. We're on floor 1, for district 1.

I go into my room, and it looks just like the room I had when I was a tribute – with the same picture and ruby on the stand. It brings back so many memories, and I run out of there as fast as I can, cause I don't want to deal with them right now. I walk down the hall to find Esmeralda, when I wonder when my next round of medication is.

"During the little meet and greet thing we have to go to." Esmeralda says, like she's reading my thoughts, as she walks out of the door of her room. It's down the hall from mine.

We get back in the elevator, and we go up a few floors. The button says 'V' so it must mean Victors?

I step out, and we're in a giant room. Trixie is shaking in my arms from excitement. I laugh, "Calm down Trixie." Esmeralda leads us into another room, where all the victors are.

Enobaria greets us first. She hugs me and taps Trixie on the nose. I smile and say hello. After that Wiress and Beetee come over, they take the laughing Trixie from me and walk around the room, showing her to everyone. I stumble over to a couch and sit down; closing my eyes. I feel something move from both my sides, and open my eyes slowly to see what happen.

Surrounding me are Esmeralda, Haymitch (who is sat on my left side), Chaff, Seeder, and Finnick (who is on my right side). They are all smiling, Haymitch and Chaff with drinks in their hands. "Hi everyone!" I say cheerily.

They are all greeting me and hugging me – Finnick hugged me! Eeep! – when some doctors come to crash our little party. "Ms Stone?" They ask, cutting through the crowd surrounding me. Automatically everyone's eyes widen, I sigh.

"Can't this wait? I'm kind of in the middle of meeting some people here?" I ask them, motioning to the victors. They just shake their head and drive the needle in my arm. After they are finally gone, the questions start.

"Gemma, what was that for?" Seeder asks me.

"Yaa… are you, okayy?" Chaff slurs. I laugh at him - hey, drunk people are funny!

Haymitch laughs, "What was that for sweetheart? Morphine, to forget about what's his name?"

I stop laughing at that exact moment, and everyone in the room goes silent. They're all watching me now. I take a step closer to Haymitch, so I'm an inch away from his face. I see him crinkle his nose at my closeness. "Shut up Haymitch, or you'll be the one needing Morphine to forget what I'll do to you if you don't!" I hiss at him.

He just laughs, and pushes me away. Yeah, right like I'm going to let him insult Ky, then push me? I stumble back wards and he smirks. That's when I raise my fist and hit him smack dab in the middle of his nose before he knows what's coming. "What the hell!" He says as I push him to the ground.

I'm just focusing on hurting Haymitch. I keep punching him and kicking him, as I start to sob. Every victor is crowded around us in a circle to see what's happening. A few of the victors from one and two are cheering for me. I flip around on my heels to face the crowd.

I narrow my eyes, "Who's next?" I ask. I feel someone suddenly pick me up, and I'm on someone's shoulder. "Put me down!" I screech, kicking my legs.

Another pair of hands grab them, and says, "Oh no you don't!" I recognize the voice. Finnick.

I look at the person holding me, and it's Chaff. Finnick is holding my legs so I can't kick them. They walk to the opposite end of the room and place me in a chair. They both stand in front of me, so when I try to stand they push me down. "Your first day here and you're already picking fights?" Chaff asks to no one in particular with a drunken laugh.

I glare at him. Finnick pushes past Chaff and kneels in front of me. "What was that, Gem?" Awe, he has a nickname for me! Yes everyone calls me that, but it sounds better when he says it. I melt into my chair while looking at him.

He snickers and asks me again. "Oh right. Sorry. He said something about Ky. No one talks about Ky." I say, my words growing into a growl.

"Sh, it's okay. What was with the needle?" He says casually.

I shrug. "I don't know. Apparently I'm crazy so I need to take that stuff so I don't go crazy and leave when I get beaten. Did you know I tried to kill myself before I came here, Finnick? By chugging down a bottle of pills. That's why they give it to me through needle form." His face goes ghostly white, and I'm kind of scared. "Finn?"

He snaps out of it, "Sorry. You'll be fine. I'm-" He gets cut off by a bell, time for the opening ceremonies. "Come on. Don't go attacking people, okay?"

I laugh and agree; he takes my hand and drags me towards the door. I see a very hurt Haymitch on the way, and I feel bad.

I'm finally sitting in a seat in the audience of the opening ceremonies. There's an empty seat to my right; Finn's at my left; Trixie's on my lap, talking to Finnick.

Haymitch comes along and plops down on the chair to my right, "Hey… I'm really sorry." I tell him.

"It's okay, I've felt worse. You know I was only drunk and joking, right?" He says.

I nod, "I know. But I just… I really don't like anyone talking about him like that… so please don't do it again."

He agrees and says he's sorry, and just like that we're made up. He questions me about the medication, and I tell him it's because I'm a crazy person and if I want to keep Trixie I need to take it.

Ash & Roland come out on their chariot, and they look… well… bedazzled. They are completely covered in Jewels, I can't tell if there are clothes on them or not. I'm sure there are, Vi wouldn't do that to them. They look amazing, and they're sparkling in under the lights. The audience goes absolutely nuts, loving them.

No other tributes really stand out, besides from two of them. A tall and skinny girl from four with strawberry blond hair that is dressed like some ancient sea god; and the girl from seven. She's very skinny, with huge fuzzy hair, and the look in her eyes scare me. It looks like she's searching for me through the victors once the chariots stop, and she glares at me. Her face turns up into a twisted smile, and she winks.

I'm suddenly terrified, and I'm gripping onto Finnick's arm, trying to get a hold of myself. "What's wrong?" He asks me. I can't answer I just shake my head and close my eyes, trying so desperately to escape from this reality for a second. I can't, it's impossible. Those stupid drugs, I hate them.

As soon as we're allowed out of the audience, I take Trixie and race to my room as fast as I can. If I can't escape to my own world, I guess my nightmares will have to do.


	13. Chapter 12: Drinking with the boys

_Sorry for the longer chapter, but there are some important things in this chapter! I hope you all like it! Review please :)_

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p>The week in the Capitol flew by; the tributes all go into the Arena tomorrow.<p>

I've been having such horrible flashbacks here, I hate it. I really wish I could escape, even for just 1 minute, to talk to Ky. I've begged (literally – I got down on my knees and begged) the doctors to stop my medication for just a few hours, even minutes, but none of them care. I got mad at them one day, while the tributes were in training, and they ended up having to sedate me because I started clawing their faces. Oh well. Ky and Juniper came to talk to me while I was under; it was great.

Ash and Roland have told me their plans in the arena. They formed a group – an anti-career group, shall we say. They said it's composed of the two of them, the boy from 6 (Roland told me that he thinks there is something going on between Ash and this guy… He said they were flirting the whole time during training), and the young 12 year old girl from 8. It broke my heart when she told me that, because that girl from 8 is Marigold's little sister. I went to my room and cried for two hours after.

The four of them stand a chance, which kind of sucks in my opinion. I really hope that none of them get close to each other, so they don't make the same mistakes I did. This reminds me exactly like my games, or at least close enough to it.

Right now I am sat at a table with Finnick and Haymitch. Trixie is gone with Seeder, to god only knows. Finnick haven't left my side the whole time we've been here, besides when he has to go away for his "duties". Next year this time I will be doing the same as him, and the thought makes me sick. No one knows besides Esmeralda, and I don't plan on telling anyone until it's absolutely necessary.

"So, Haystack, have you found a love of your life yet?" Finnick asks Haymitch. He finds it hilarious to call him 'Haystack' because he hates it so much.

I catch myself staring at Finnick, and he glances at me. I turn to look at Haymitch, suddenly interested. He looks very uncomfortable.

"And how is that any of your business, sweetheart? And stop calling me Haystack!" I laugh at Haymitch saying this, he's so flustered.

"I'm just wondering, calm yourself down! I'll be right back guys, I'm going to go get some sugar." He's obsessed with the damn sugar cubes! He never stops eating them!

I smile and sigh contently. I love these guys; they've actually been the best friends I've ever had, next to Carter. They don't judge you… they just want to enjoy life the best they can under these horrible circumstances.

I watch Haymitch as he takes a swig of his alcohol, "Want some?" He offers the bottle to me.

I glance around the room, "I uh… actually never had alcohol before."

He thinks this is the funniest thing he has ever heard. Finnick is at the opposite end of the room, and Haymitch calls out to him. "Hey Finnick!" He manages between his laughs.

"What?" Finnick yells back. Everyone in the room has turned to look at us. Finn turns to walk back to the table, and he sits back down.

"This girl here has never had a drink!" Now this time Finnick starts laughing with him. I hit him in the shoulder.

"Guys! Come on, what's so funny?" I pout.

"You've seriously never had a drink?" Finnick asks me, his eyes glistening.

"Well no. I mean I've had wine, but never hard alcohol. For one I'm not old enough, and two It just never really occurred to me to taste it. Carter drinks it every now and then, but I've never." I tell them.

Haymitch shoves the bottle into my hand, "Well, go ahead."

"What? Right here? Won't I get in trouble or something?" Finnick laughs and grabs the bottle from me, and starts to chug it down. He's one year younger than me! "Finnick!" I gasp.

Haymitch grabs the bottle back from Finn's mouth, making him spill it all over his shirt. Finnick complains, but just takes his shirt off. I can't get over his abs, they're gorgeous! He has no scars, his skin is beautiful and tanned, and his six pack is amazing!

"Holy Shit Finn, your ripped!" I laugh, he blushes and looks away. Haymitch hands me back the bottle, rolling his eyes.

"Now go. You won't get in trouble, everyone does it. Go on." So I slowly bring the bottle to my lips, and scrunch up my nose to the smell. The boys smirk and urge me on. I tip it back, and I feel the liquid enter my mouth. I swallow, and it burns going down. It tastes disgusting; I don't know how they can drink it constantly.

I place the bottle back down and screw up my face, hanging my tongue out of my mouth. "Ew! That's disgusting! But.. I kind of want more." I say greedily, bringing the bottle back to my lips.

We keep laughing and talking, and I don't know how, but eventually I'm drunk. I stand up from the table, and stumble; Finnick is immediately at my side.

They both laugh at me, and I grip the bottle, refusing to let Haymitch take it. "No! I… I like this…" I slur out. I don't even know what I'm saying.

"The interviews aren't for another few hours, you may want to take her to her room, Finn." Haymitch says.

Finnick nods, and starts to help me walk. I can't seem to make my legs move though, they feel really jelly like and it's really funny. I crash to the floor, and suddenly I'm in Finnick's arms. I laugh, close my eyes and lay my head on Finn's shoulder – the room is spinning. "Thanks… Finn…"

I can feel him smirk at my drunken state. He may get into trouble for getting a mentally insane person drunk, but oh well. I feel us get into the elevator, hear the ding, then walk to my room – or so I think it's my room.

He lays me on the bed, and I open my eyes a slit. We aren't in my room, we're in his. "This isn't my room?" I say dumbly.

"No, it's mine." He states, sitting on the bed next to me. I put my head in his lap and he plays with my hair.

"Where's my room?" I have no idea what I'm saying. He laughs.

"On the first floor."

"Why aren't I there?"

"Because you don't have your key, and you need to sleep off this alcohol before the interviews."

I groan and adjust myself. Even if he is pure muscle, he's very comfortable. He starts singing to me some song about some sea gods or something, and I fall asleep quickly.

…

I wake up a few hours later from my pounding head. "Oh shit." I say. Where am I? I open my eyes, and I register someone's legs in under me. I turn my head and look up.

"Good your awake. We have to go to the interviews soon, I was just about to wake you." Finnick says.

Suddenly I feel the alcohol coming back up. I gag and race to the bathroom. I make it to the toilet just in time. Finnick quickly comes from behind me, but by the time he grabs my hair it is already soaked with vomit, along with my hair. Once I'm finished I groan and stand up, clutching my head. "I swear, if you two get me drunk anymore I'll kill you both in your sleep."

"Ouu, I'm so scared." He says. I roll my eyes. "Get in the shower, I'll get you some clean clothes." So I do as I'm told, and I step into the shower, stripping off.

I get out after a while, and change into a blue dress he left for me. He also left me a clean bra and panties, and I feel my face go red just at the thought of him looking at my undergarments. Oh well. I change quickly and walk out of the room, where he's pulling on pants. "Oh!" I say, covering my eyes quickly and turning around.

He laughs, "It's okay, you can look, I'm done." I turn back around, uncovering my eyes. He runs one of his hands through his amazing hair and smirks at me. I roll my eyes. "What? Do you have a problem seeing me without clothing?"

"We have to go, we're going to be late." I tell him, clearly uncomfortable.

We make it just in time, and I slide into a seat besides Seeder who is still holding Trixie. "Hey baby," I say, leaning over and kissing her forehead.

"Hi Mama. Look wha Seeder got me!" She tells me, waving around a stuffed monkey. I laugh and tell Seeder thank you. Then the interview starts.

Ash is the first one called out, and she looks stunning. She's wearing a long black dress, that looks like it's made of silk, that has gold fireworks embroidered in it. They start the interview. "Why hello Ms. Lockheart!"

"Hey Caesar," she says with a shrug.

He laughs, "We don't have much time! Sit, sit! So you got a 9 in training, hm?" Ash nods.

"I just showed them what they wanted to see," she says with a shrug.

"And what was that?"

"You'll just have to wait and see in the games." The crowd 'Awwws'; they're loving her.

They continue on for a while longer, and by the end of the three minutes, Ash has gotten capitol boys blowing kisses and throwing roses onto the stage for her. I cheer silently in my mind.

Roland is next, he plays the 'I don't care' kind of look, dressed to match Ash.

The girl from two goes for 'Sexy'. The boy from two goes for 'Dangerous' (he's really good looking, I must admit).

Both from three go for ' the braniacs'.

The girl from four goes for girly yet dangerous. The boy from four is very charming, also very good looking. The crowd loves them.

The girl from five is ditzy. I think she's really annoying. The boy is shy, he won't last five minutes in there.

The girl from six is quiet, she doesn't speak. Someone actually has to say what she writes down. The boy, who is apparently Ash's lover, is actually really nice. Everyone loves him. I think he's going for likable. I notice his eyes flickering to Ash numerous times during his interview.

The girl from seven is downright scary. She talks about how Ky killed her sister in the games last year, and then how I talked horribly about her during my speech. She also says how I killed the boy she had a crush on for years in the games, so she hates me. I agree with her, she has every right to hate me. She says that district 1 should lookout during the games because she's out for revenge. She finds me in the audience while she says it, and it scares me. A lot. There's something about that girl that terrifies me.

I want to leave, I don't want to stay and watch any more. I try to get up and leave, but Seeder stops me. She tells me I can't leave yet, so I go a bit crazy. I start screaming and race away from the crowd. After a half hour of running through hallways, I slide down the wall and put my head in my hands. I can't cry; I won't. I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up. It's Jolie, Marigold's mentor. She just smile at me, and I feel I can trust her.

She grabs my hand and pulls me up and into a room. She tells me she just wants me to watch Marigold's sisters interview and then I can leave.

I look on the screen just in time to hear the last few words of her interview. "…I know Gemma really liked Mari, they were friends. Mari told me herself in her letter she left me how much she liked her. I look up to Gemma, kind of as a role model. I know she did the right thing by ending Mar-" and she is suddenly sobbing, and she gets cut off. Her buzzer goes off, and she walks off the stage.

"I-I'm her role model?" I whisper.

Jolie just nods, still watching the screen. I actually leave this time, and I talk to Marigold. She's delighted that her sister will probably be joining her soon, and that I would get to meet her if she does. I tell her that I don't want to meet her yet, because I don't want her to die.

So I promise her. I promise her that because I couldn't keep her alive, I will try my best to keep her sister, whose name is Zayna, alive for as long as I can.

Marigold thanks me and pushes me back out to reality, even though I beg her not too.


	14. Chapter 13: A destroyed Capitol

_Just a short chapter, so I figured I'd post it tonight! I hope you like it + the arena! The next chapter will be all about the games, this one was just kind of a filler, don't worry! _

_I want to thank all of my lovely readers and especially my reviews. You all make my day and give me the inspiration to keep on writing, so I thank you :) _

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p>Esmeralda eventually finds me, huddled into a ball in that room. Jolie left earlier, leaving me alone, and I tried so hard to go back to Marigold, but I couldn't. So I just stayed in that ball form.<p>

When she first saw me she was frantic – hair messed up, face red, eyes wild, panting. "Oh! Gemma! Thank god I found you!"

I'm confused, "Why? Why did you need to find me so badly?" I don't move from my ball state.

"Something happen-"

"To who!" I cut her off. I jump up faster than anything, and start to go wild myself. She places her hands on my shoulders, and looks me in the eyes.

"Gemma, calm down. Something happen to Trixie but-"

"Oh my god. Oh my god. Where is she? Is she okay!" So many thoughts race through my head.

"Gemma, listen to me. She's okay. We got her to the hospital in time. We've been searching for you for hours. They won't tell us what happen to her until you were there, you need to come with me, now."

Tears make their way down my face, "What happen to her?"

She grabs my arm and pulls me along, "We were leaving the crowd, and she started having all these spasms in my arms, and I tried talking to her and shaking her, but her eyes rolled into her head. So I grabbed Finnick and Seeder and Haymitch, and we brought her to the hospital. Finnick stayed with her, and three of us came searching for you. Thank god I found you."

We were just walking, but when she told me that I take off full speed down the hall. I hear her calling my name and chasing me, but I can't stop; I need to get to my daughter, now.

Eventually I make my way to the hospital, and it's chaos. One doctor directs me to a chair to sit down, and I start breathing deeply. Esmeralda finally comes and sits next to me. "Es, I need my medication. I know I'm going to leave, and I can't. Not now. Please." She orders a nurse over, and she gives me a pill.

As soon as it slides down my throat I calm down instantly. I hold Esmeralda's hand for support. I see Finnick walk out of a room, fixing his hair and I walk over to him. I go straight into his arms and burst out crying; he's surprised but he holds me. "Thank you." I whisper to him.

"Sh. It's going to be fine. Come in here and talk to the doctor with me. Then you can call Carter, and then you'll see her." I pull away from his arms, and shakily walk into the room he just came from.

We sit in two chairs, holding hands, and a doctor with pink hair walks in. "Hello Ms Stone and Mr Odair. First things first, I want you to know that Trixie's fine." I let out a deep breath I've been holding.

She laughs, "So what happen?" I ask her.

"Well, Your daughter had a seizure, Ms Stone."

"A wha?" I ask dumbly.

"A seizure. It's a sudden, uncontrollable event that happens when there is unusual electrical activity in the brain. Brain cells send out electrical impulses that travel along nerves to the rest of the body. These impulses tell the muscles to move. If too many brain cells send impulses at the same time, it causes an overload. When that happens, the muscles tighten and relax rapidly or stop moving completely."

"Okay, so what can you do to help her?" I'm getting anxious.

"Well, we've diagnosed your daughter with have epilepsy. It's an old disease from before the rebellion; we have the medication to treat it. It just means that your daughter can have seizures at any time, but with the medication it can help it. Has your daughter had a seizure before?"

I'm breathing deeply and clutching Finnick's arm for dear life. He whispers things in my ears, but I can't listen to it. "N-no." I manage to say. I run a hand through my hair.

"Alright. Well, I must go see another patient; feel free to use the phone to call any loved one, and you can go see Trixie right away. Best wishes, Ms Stone."

How can this keep happening to me? So many bad things have been happening, it's crazy. _Just like me! _The world is punishing me for being so horrible to all those people… and killing so many of them.

The doctor walks out of the room, and Finnick pulls me up and over to a phone. He dials a number, and is directed to my home in the victors village. "Carter? Is this you?" He waits a second. "This is Finnick Odair, I'm here at the hospital with Gemma- No, no she's fine, she wants to talk to you. Here." He passes the phone to me.

"C-Carter?" I whisper.

"Gemma? Oh my god, are you okay? What happen?"

"Carter something happen to Trixie, I'm here at the hospital…"

He breaths in sharply, "What happen."

"She had a seizure, and now she's diagnosed with a disease called Epilepsy. I don't really know what it is- it's some disease from before the rebellion… she has to take medication now, Carter, Just like me." I start crying at the last sentence.

"Sh, baby, she's going to be fine, okay? You have to go see her now, and I'll see you real soon. I wish I could be there with you to comfort you and Trixie, but I know I'd never be allowed. Tell her to get better really quick so she can enjoy the rest of her vacation for me, 'kay? I love you."

"I will, and I love you too. See you soon, Carter." Then I hang up the phone.

I walk out of the room and demand to know what room she's in to know one in particular, Finnick right behind me. There's a crowd formed around Esmeralda now, consisting of most of the Victors I'm friends with, even snake tongue woman. I give them a quick smile as someone shouts out '2A' before racing off with Finn to find the room.

We find it after a few minutes of searching and I slowly walk in. She's sleeping peacefully in the bed, looking as normal as ever. I walk up to her and kiss her forehead, "Hi little monkey…" I sit down in a chair beside her, and rest my head against her stomach. Finnick does the same on the other side, and we wait. And wait. And wait.

…

She doesn't wake up until morning, and I then realize that the games begin around lunch time. The doctor reassured me we will be out by then. I thank him.

Trixie is as happy as ever to be around her friends, Seeder brings her monkey doll and she sits up and plays with it. It's all very cute, in my opinion. I don't know how, but all of the victors are laughing and smiling along side of Trixie; I guess it's better to keep the mood happy then depressed, hey?

They let us out after loading me down with a huge bag full of pills and liquid that will last us a year or so, until we can come back to the capitol. They recommend me crushing the pills, and putting it in something she likes to eat, so she won't have to swallow them. I agree.

We all get back to the training center, where we will be able to watch the games. All the victors go into a big room that has the biggest screen I have ever seen in it, along with couches and little stations for each district. The screen buzzes to life, and even though the tributes won't rise up for another hour or so, we get to see the arena beforehand.

The arena shows on the screen, and I'm baffled. The cornucopia is on the middle of a huge frozen lake; the tributes will rise up around it and will have to run across the ice to get to the weapons and goods. That won't end well; they will all be slipping and sliding all over the place.

I look around the huge map of the arena, and the frozen lake is smack dab in the center of a city. A city? Wow. It's in the 'square' of the city. But the city is destructed; most of the buildings are blown up – ashes all over the place. I can see all kinds of different types of mutts huddled into rooms, just waiting for something to eat. There are also hidden mines everywhere; this is going to be a bloody games. Great.

Me and Finnick stair at each other, baffled by the arena. In under all of the ash, you can see different colors on the buildings. When the cold air blows, you can see the colors on the ground too. Me and Finn both realize at the same time what we're looking at.

It's a destroyed Capitol.


	15. Chapter 14: Dream come true

_Hey guys, here's the newest chapter! _

_I need all of your opinions on something: _**Should Gemma stay with Carter? Or should they break up?**

_I have a great plot for either, so I want to know what you guys would rather. Please PM/Review/Send me your answer on tumblr (_meganlucindaxo . tumblr . com_) Cause I'd really like to know what you would all rather see! _

_I hope you like the chapter, leave me reviews ! :)_

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p>The victors all arrange themselves on the couches, and in between Haymitch and Finnick (of Course!) ; Wiress has Trixie, but I won't let them out of my sight, just in case.<p>

The plat forms slowly rise up, and I watch the tributes reactions to the arena. They are all baffled, thinking that it will be easy to survive in a city – there's plenty of shelter. But what they don't know is how in almost everyone one of those buildings there are horrible things in store for them.

The gong sounds, and everyone takes off for the cornucopia. They are all sliding into each other, a lot of them collapsing in groups, and then it turns into a full out fist fight. I watch the clear ice quickly turn red, and it's one of the scariest scenes I've ever seen.

There are so many beaten bodies all over the ice, I close my eyes and shove my shoulder into Finnick; he soothes my hair down.

Haymitch rubs my shoulder and tells me it's over. I notice the careers (made of both District 2, both district 4, and the girl from 5) make their way to a building; The really creepy girl from 7 has an alliance too, made of the district 9 girl, district 10 boy, and herself (they run to a little house a far way away from the lake). Then there's the anti careers, they're at the cornucopia. They stand tall, willing to kill anyone that comes near.

There are a few other little alliances, but the rest are loners. They all scatter into different parts of the city to hide.

I watch as the anti careers search through the cornucopia, Roland is limping and has bruises all over his face, Ash has many cuts on her face and neck but she seems fine, the district 6 boy (who I heard was called Miles) is right behind Ash – following her – holding his arm with a swollen black eye, and little Zayna doesn't have a scratch on her.

Ash grabs a golden whip, Roland has a long silver sword, Miles has a spear, and Zayna has a tiny bow and arrow. They each have a belt of knives, and they should be good to go.

When they've each grabbed a pack, they set off in search of a good resting area, climbing over dead and mauled bodies and trying not to slip while they go.

_BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!_

9 innocent kids died just then from being beaten to death. I turn my attention to the pictures in the corner of those who just died:

The 13 year old girl from District 3.

The 16 year old boy from district 5.

The 14 year old girl from district 6.

The 13 year old boy from district 8.

The 16 year old boy from district 9.

The 12 year old boy from district 11

The 15 year old girl from district 11.

The 14 year old boy from district 12.

The 12 year old girl from district 12.

All of those innocent young children. Dead. I burst out in tears, and Haymitch holds my hand while Finnick rubs my back. They whisper soothing things to me, and I eventually stop crying. Trixie waddles over to me and asks me why I was crying, and I just pick her up and hold her.

"Well…" Haymitch sighs, "Both of mine are gone. Looks like I don't have to do anything this time 'round."

"Me either!" Chaff agrees from the other side of the room, chugging down alcohol like there's no tomorrow.

Trixie squirms out of my arms and crawls over to Haymitch's lap, and he laughs. "Hey, Sweetheart,"

"Hi!" She says contently, holding her stuffed monkey and leaning her head on his shoulder.

"You know Haymitch, you should have a kid. You really look great with them," I say.

He snorts. "Trixie is my kid, hey Trixie?" She smiles and nods.

I guess we are like a family, even though I haven't known these people for very long, I like them all so much. I smile to myself and sigh. "What are you so happy about, Ms Stone?" Finnick asks me with a smirk.

"I'm just thinking about how we are already so much like a family, and I barely know you all. Thank you guys, for being so welcoming to me and Trix." I say to everyone.

They all smile and laugh and I wonder how we're all so happy. A doctor comes and downs the mood though. They give me a pill and a glass of water (They said they can trust me with pills now, but only if they give it to me), and Trixie a bowl of ice cream that they said the pill is in.

Trixie greedily grabs the bowl, and I tell her to be nice. She offers some to Haymitch, and he politely declines.

"How long do you have to take Medicine for?" Finnick asks me.

I shrug, "As long as I have too… they are forbidding me to talk to Ky and all my other friends, I hate it."

He just smiles and his eyes start to water, I look at him confused for a second before a loud buzzer echos through the room.

Trixie clamps her hand over her ears because it's so loud, I want to do the same, but I don't. I look up at the screen, The 18 year old girl from 10 is in the middle of being ripped apart by this swarm of birds. I watch in horror as they slowly rip the skin from her body as she screams.

I cover Trixie's eyes before she had a chance to see anything, and then squeeze my eyes shut. I hear her canon go off, and open my eyes again. There is literally nothing left. Those birds ate her, bones in all. All that's left is a puddle of blood and a few bits of her insides.

Vile rises in my throat, and I race to a nearby garbage can. I'm surprised that when I'm done it's Seeder that's holding my hair and rubbing my back. "Thanks, Seeder." I tell her.

"It's okay, it'll get easier." Is all she says.

We walk back to our seats, "Got any gum, Finn?" I ask Finnick. He hauls out his gum, its mint flavored. "Thanks." He just offers me a sad smile.

Nothing really happens for the rest of the day, there are no more deaths. The careers do their regular career things. The anti Careers take shifts to sleep, and spend a lot of time talking. And the other group of three, who are out to get district 1, look around the arena.

We order dinner to our little victor's watching room, and we all laugh and talk the whole night. I can't help feeling bad, because those kids are all in that arena suffering, and we're here having a good time. But that was me last year, I've been through it.

Finnick is going on with some story, about being attacked by a shark when he was younger. He's obviously drunk, with Haymitch and Chaff.

I walk over to the three of them so I can laugh at them.

"Gemmmmaa," Finnick slurs, slinging his arms around my neck and pulling me into a tight hug. My face is crushed against his chest.

"Finnick! I can't breathe!" I say laughing.

"L-let her go, Odair." Chaff says

"No! She's my Gemma, not yours!" Finnick says, sounding like a little kid.

I am laughing my head off at this point, because it's so funny the way they are getting on. Finnick finally releases me, and he lifts up my chin so I look him in the eye. He smiles his gorgeous smile at me, and I grin. What happens next would have been my dream come true, if it wasn't for Carter.

Finnick Odair, my three year crush, kisses me. I feel his tongue in my mouth, and I don't pull away. I can easily get away if I wanted too, but I don't. I hear 'whoot's and whistles from the victors, and I place my hand over our faces so they can't see.

We eventually break apart, and he just stares at me. I stare right back at him for a few seconds before running away.

I make my way to a supply closet, where I slide down the wall and lie down on the floor. I start crying, and I don't know how long I was just lying there, but I eventually fall asleep; only to dream of Mr Finnick Odair.


	16. Chapter 15: Victor Problems

Hope you like the Chapter :) I got a brilliant idea for the upcoming chapters! And now that I think about it, this story is probably going to be a long one, before I get to the third book! Hope you all don't mind! :)

Anyways, Review and tell me what you think!

I do not own the hunger games!

* * *

><p>I open my eyes, I'm still in the little room. I get up on my hands and knees and crawl out of the door and down the hall way. I make it half way down, when I curl up into a ball again.<p>

A little while later I feel arms pick me up. I pull up my head, only to find a hungover Haymitch picking me up. "Hay?" I say weakly.

"It's okay, let's go back to the lounge. I need a drink." I laugh and lean my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes. "What happened?" He asks me.

"You know, I uh, kissed Finnick, and I shouldn't have… I have a boyfriend… who I love very much?" I say it as a question instead of a statement; how can I even consider this? How am I considering Finnick over Carter?

"He likes you, you know…" Haymitch tells me, walking back to the room. I sigh, but don't answer.

"What happened after I left? Like in the games?" I ask him after a while.

"Another death. One of the careers. The girl from 2. The place they were in collapsed, the 4 of them jumped out of the window, but by the time it was her turn it was too late. At least she didn't suffer, she broke her neck; died instantly."

God I hate these games. Ugh. I nod.

We are finally back to the room, and Finnick and Chaff are passed out on two of the couched; Seeder, Enobaria, A victor name Brutus, and Esmeralda are gathered around Trixie; all the others are just scattered about. "Hey Seed! I found her!" Haymitch yells out to Seeder.

She jumps up, "Wonderful! Gemma where did you go?"

Haymitch answers for me, "A closet down the hall. She's a little confused." He lays me on a couch far away from Finnick, and they all gather around me.

The bombard me with questions:

"What's wrong, Gem?"

"Are you okay?"

"What are you confused about?"

"Maybe we can help you?"

"Did you leave us?"

I just shut my eyes and block them out, breathing deeply. And then in a split second I'm being picked up again. I start flailing around in surprise, until Haymitch tells me to knock it off. Seeder is following us, carrying Trixie.

They bring us to our room, and I thank them, taking the now sleeping Trixie from Seeder. They said that I need to rest and that they will wake me if anything interesting happens.

…

Nothing interesting must happen, because when I wake up it's on my own. I get up and get dressed and washed before Trixie wakes. When she do I get her dressed, then we head back down to the lounge. I'm not looking forward to seeing Finnick, it's going to be so awkward.

We walk down, Trixie talking the whole way. I go over and sit by Josie, and we make small talk. All the tributes are either eating or sleeping, it's rather boring.

I'm into a deep conversation and I don't notice Finnick plopping down next to me. "Hey," He says, wrapping his arms around my waste and pulling me onto his lap. I jump a mile and smack him, he burst out laughing.

"Finnick! Don't scare me like that! God!" But I can't be mad at him, it's impossible.

"Sorry, sorry. I couldn't resist." He moves his eyebrows suggestively.

I roll my eyes, "You know, I figured this would be awkward. But luckily it's not!"

His face turns so confused, "Awkward? Why would it be awkward?" Uh oh. He doesn't remember.

"What happened? Last night? You know?"

His face drops, "Did we sleep together last night, Gem?"

"Oh my god! No!" I can't help but laugh.

He puts on a fake frown, "Oh man. I wish we did." He winks.

I'm not going to bring it up. "Sorry," I say flirtatiously, batting my eyes. He laughs. I get up and walk away from him, to go over to Haymitch.

"Hey, Haystack, do you remember what me and Finn did last night?" I whisper in his ear.

He smirks, "Of course I do. Why?"

"Because he doesn't… what do I do?"

"Are you seriously talking to me about you boy troubles, sweetheart?"

"Well, yeah…"

He sighs, "Well, how do you feel about him?"

"I don't know! It's so frustrating! It's the same thing that happened with Ky… I think I'm having second thoughts on Carter…"

He doesn't have the chance to answer me, because he gets cut off by an avox bringing me a letter. I give Haymitch a weird look, and his face mirrors mine. "Well, open it!" He urges.

So I do. It from my best friend President Snow and it reads:

_Ms Stone,_

_My my my, these men are so hard to control! One certain man, a very close friend of mine, is very impatient. He is just _begging_ me to let him have you, just once this season. Because I'm very generous to my dear Capitolians, I agreed._

_So, you will have just one meeting tomorrow night with this very special man, I hope you don't mind. _

_Remember, if you do not do exactly what he says or you object, I will _not _hesitate to inflict some pain on your beloved Carter; or perhaps little Trixie might just have a very bad seizure, that she may not be able to recover from._

_Ruler of Panem, _

_President Snow._

I feel the world crashing beneath my feet. I can't seriously be forced to have to sleep with this man tomorrow. I won't do it. I won't. But then he'll hurt Carter, or my poor little girl. I can't let that happen.

I tear the note up in a million little pieces and flick it all over the floor, furious. "Gemma? What did it say?" Haymitch asks me, concerned.

I storm off to Esmeralda. "Es. Come with me. Now." All the victors are staring at us with wide eyes, but she complies.

"Gem, Calm down." She says as we walk. I stop dead in the middle of the hall way.

"Remember what snow said I had to do when Trixie was three?" She nods, "Well, he lied. I have to do it tomorrow, Es, tomorrow! I can't do it! But he threatened to kill Trixie and Carter! What do I do!"

Tears form in her eyes, "You do it."

"What!" I shriek.

"I know it's going to be hard, Gem, but you have to… would you rather Trix or Carter die? I'm not trying to be mean, I just need you to understand the reality of the situation… Maybe you won't take your meds tomorrow, and you can zone out while it's happening?"

That's actually not a bad idea. I can leave reality and go talk with Ky and the rest of my friends while he's doing these things to me…

I start crying, and I nod my head. She pulls me into a hug and soothes my hair. "M-my life sucks!" I complain.

"It'll get better… I promise."

"I hope so." She leads me back to the room, and I refuse to talk to anyone.

The day passes by slowly, with no more deaths. I don't talk to anyone, and when Finnick tries to talk to me I ignore him. I shouldn't be shunning him out just because of my problems, but I just can't deal with anyone right now.

Over dinner I ask Wiress if she can watch Trixie for me a few hours tomorrow, because I'm going to meet one of my old friends. She agrees happily; she has no idea about the truth.

…

Today came by to quickly. I'm currently getting ready for the man I'm going to see soon, and I'm freaking out. Esmeralda had to calm me down so many times I lost count. Unfortunately I'm ready much too quick. I walk down to the lobby, avoiding all other victors, where a car is waiting me.

I get into it without saying a word; there is no one in there but the driver. He drives me to a huge mansion. "Woah!" I say without really meaning too.

Someone opens my door for me, and it's a guy dressed in a suit. He's old. "Are you…" I say to him.

He laughs, "No no, I'm here to show you your way." So he leads me into the mansion and up the stairs and to a door. Then he leaves me. I gulp.

I slowly knock on the door; it opens a few moments later. I know who the man is instantly; it's the vice President of Panem, President Snow's right hand man. No wonder he'd let him have me.

I look him up and down once, as he does to me. He's huge. He could easily hold me down. I suddenly start shaking, I can't do this. "Uh…" I say in a shaky voice.

He sizes me up, "So… You're my little treat tonight, hm? Mr Snow is such a kind man for letting me have you first." He grabs my arm and drags me into the room as he says this. He takes a few steps towards me, and I take a few steps back. We keep going like this, until I reach a wall.

It finally clicks in my head what's happening as he's kissing me, pushing me into the wall.

He tastes disgusting. Nothing at all like the other boys I've kissed in my life. I feel vomit rising in my throat. I break away from him and duck in under his arms so I can race for the bathroom. I only make it to the sink before I throw up.

He walks up behind me and I can hear him laugh. I turn on the faucet and rinse my mouth. He grabs my hair with his hand, and slams my nose down onto the faucet.

I scream and grip my nose, which is surely broken and bleeding. "Holy fuck!" I screech.

He flips me around so I'm facing him, and I glare at him full of disgust. His mouth twist up into a smile, "I thought you were going to be a good girl?" He asks.

I spit my blood at him. He growls and grabs my waist, carries me out of the bath room and flicks me onto the bed, my head smacking the head board in the process. I cry out in pain, and he's on top of me, laughing.

*I'm sure you all know what happens now…*

I just have my shirt on when he's shoving me out the door. I'm sobbing, and I have bruises all over me. I never thought someone could hurt me so bad. I mean, I thought the beatings on the victory tours were bad, but at least they didn't rape me while they were doing it.

I cry even harder as I waddle down the hall, gripping my nose and my head, which is split open from being hit off of the headboard so many times. I leave a trail of blood behind me in the hall.

I have a feeling that President Snow isn't going to be too happy with me… I tried to fight him off…

Oh no. This isn't good. The letter comes back to me: _do not do exactly what he says or you object, I will _not _hesitate to inflict some pain…._

Oh no, oh no, oh no. I start running toward the door, ignore the searing pain from my nose, head, and between my legs as I do so. I jump into the car, and I tell him where I want to go.

I want to go see President Snow.


	17. Chapter 16: This much fun

_So, I decided to post this chapter tonight too, because it's Saturday night and I'm bored xD _

_This is my third update today ! Woot ! :)_

**2B-ing . us . 4once**_ If finnick kissed me, I would be so depressed, too. Your not alone, trust me! :P_

**Pink MockingJay**_ You'll just have to wait and see! ;)_

**SpecialCircumstances999**_ Sorry about it being disturbing, I tried to make this chapter a bit brighter; she deserves some happiness in her life!_

_Hope you all like the chapter, Review! :)_

* * *

><p>"Stop! You can't go in there!" President Snow's secretary says to me as she grabs my arm.<p>

I yank it free, "Don't touch me!" I shout at her with everything I've got. She looks horrified at all the blood gushing from my head and I smirk. She doesn't try to stop me anymore.

I barge in his office, and he just looks at me. "Oh dear, look at the blood! Hilda, some towels please!" He shouts out of the room. An Avox comes into the room and I take the towels, telling her thank you. "Now, please, sit."

I sit down across from him. I try to be polite so I mumble, "Sorry about the carpet."

He laughs, "Oh, It's fine, I needed some new carpet in here anyways. What brings you here looking like… that?" He smirks. I use all of my might not to lunge across the desk and start to tear his face off. "I'm assuming you just came from your _appointment_?"

I nod. He smiles. "And now you're worried that I am going to harm young Carter because you didn't cooperate. Am I correct?" Tears form in my eyes and I nod again.

He laughs at my tears, "Don't worry, you fool. I won't hurt Carter just yet. Where would the fun be in that? Now get out of my office."

"Thanks." I mumble as I walk out. At least he isn't going to hurt Carter… yet.

I think about Carter as I walk away from his office and down to the hall. I find all my good thoughts about him finding their way to Finnick, though. I miss Carter, but I find that I like spending time with Finnick a little more than I should… And why didn't I pull away from that kiss a few days ago? No, actually, why did I _like_ kissing him? I shouldn't like kissing anyone but Carter.

I'm finally back to our building, and waiting for me as soon as I walk in is Esmeralda. "Oh dear god…" She breathes when she sees me. I give her a week smile. "Come on, let's get you fixed up." I thought she meant she would bring me to the hospital, but she just brings me to her room.

She stops the bleeding from my nose and puts a bandage over it until I can get to the hospital. Then she stitches up my head, using 11 stitches. It kills.

Then she puts me to bed, but I ask her where Trixie is. She said she's sleeping in Wiress's room. I trust Wiress. She'll be fine.

…

I wake up in a few hours, at sunrise. Esmeralda is beside me, still sleeping, so I quietly get up and go to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror. _Oh god. _I look horrible. Once again, the purple bruises are back all over my neck and face – it's like a flashback from my victory tour. I shiver.

You can clearly see that my nose is broken, too, and the bandage don't help. Around my stitches my head is swollen. I'm so beautiful today. _Just kidding! _But seriously,I don't see how any man could want me anyways. With all of my scars from my games, I really don't see how I'm pretty.

Once I'm finished cleaning up, I creep down to the victors lounge in my pajamas, which are very _very _short pink polka dot shorts, and one of Esmeralda's big baggy white t-shirts. Oh well, it's comfortable.

I'm surprised to see that no one is in the room; they all must still be sleeping. I go and sit right in front of the screen. None of the tributes are asleep, they are all doing something.

I watch as the girl from seven and her allies try to make a plan to take down the anti-careers; it's quite interesting. If their plan works… all four of the anti-careers deaths will be on me. That is the only reason they are going after them; because of me.

They talk about how they are going to wait until it is down to the last few tributes, then they will lure them to the lake.

I think then of the gamemakers; now that they know this plan, they could do something horrible that could kill them all. They could crack the lake, making them all fall in… they could all drown or freeze to death. Oh no.

I feel the presence of another person in the room, and I slowly turn my head toward the door. It's only Finnick, thank goodness. "Oh! Hey Gem!" He sees me, and walks over. "I wanted to talk to you!" He says.

I smile, "About what?"

"Wait, what happened to you?" He says, pushing my head down to get a good look at the stitches. I have to lie.

"Nothing, I freaked out, smashed my head against the wall a few times… I'd rather not talk about it Finn." What a lame excuse. Oh well.

He shakes his head, "Oh… Kay. Gem… Haymitch told me… what we did, the other night…. When I was drunk… remember?"

My face falls and I turn my attention to the floor. It's suddenly really interesting. "Mhmm…"

"I'm sorry… I was drunk, I completely forgot about Carter."

I look him in the eyes, "Finn, I had the choice to pull away from you; but I didn't _want_ to. That's what I find so confusing…"

His eyes seem to instantly brighten at my words, "But… what about Carter?"

I sigh and look at my spot on the floor again, "I don't really know…"

He doesn't push it any further; he can tell I'm uncomfortable. He turns his gaze to the screen, "So, what did I miss?"

"That group is planning something against the anti careers."

He turns to look at me again, and puts on a seductive smirk, "Wanna get some popcorn?"

I burst out in laughter, he's so ridiculous! Maybe that's what I like about him… Carter is always so serious. I nod, and he grabs my hand and pulls me up.

He bends his knees in front of me, "What are you doing?" I say, still laughing.

"I'll give you a ride, c'mon!"

"L-like a piggy back?" I whisper, close to tears. Ky was the last person to give me a piggy back.

He stands up straight again and looks at me, "Yeah, sure. Wait- what's wrong?"

"K-ky…" I manage.

He hugs me close to him, "Sh, Gem, I'm sorry. I didn't realize… I'm sorry."

I can't keep dwelling on Ky's death. He would want me to have fun with Finn. "No, forget it. Bend down, I'm jumping up!" He laughs and does what I say. I jump up, and he pretends to make a groaning sound like I'm heavy. "Oh shut up Finn!" I say, smacking him on the head.

He takes off full speed out of the room, laughing his head off, and I scream and close my eyes. I'm surprised we didn't wake up all the victors. We get to the kitchen in no time.

"So, what are we having, babe?" He says flirtatiously. _Awe, he called me babe! _

I giggle, "Let's have a feast of junk food! Let's eat till we puke!"

"Aright then!" He says.

We search the kitchen and find Chocolate bars, popcorn, big bags of all different kind of chips, Oreos, ice cream, peanut butter, and honey. "Yum!" I scream when I see it all laid out on the table.

I jump back up on his back, and I load my arms up with the food. Anyone that sees us must think we are crazy, considering it's early; well I already am crazy, but oh well!

I giggle some more, "You know Finn, You better work out after we eat all of this… you don't want all of this to go to your abs of steel!"

"Only if you work out with me." He says. What does that mean?

"I don't want you to see me all sweaty and gross, though." I say with a pretend pout.

He laughs, "And_ I_ don't want _you_ to see _me_ all sweaty and gross."

I whisper in his ear, "But sweat looks good on guys. Especially guys with abs of steel." I cannot believe I just said that. I don't think I realize I have a boyfriend.

I see his eyes grow wide, and he smirks, but he doesn't say anything. We finally make it back to our room, and he throws me down on one of the couches, food going everywhere. I wince but cover it up with my laugh. I sit up, and he sits next to me, close enough that our legs are touching. "Where to begin?" He asks.

I turn, and bring my bare legs up on his lap, and plop the bag of Oreos down in mine. "I don't know about you, but I'm going to try to eat all of these Oreos. Pass me the honey, will you?"

He looks at my legs for a second, and then passes me the honey. He snorts, "Oreos and Honey?"

"But of course," I say while dipping an Oreo in the honey. I throw it in my mouth and sigh in delight, "Try it!" I tell him.

"Okay, if you say it's good…" He grabs an Oreo and the jar, and then he rests his arms and elbows on my legs. I watch him, his skin is warm. He eats it, "Wow, you're right. That's delicious."

"I know right! Make me one, I'm too lazy." I say.

He laughs and makes me one. I open my mouth and he puts it in, fingers touching my lips. I grin and intentionally bite his fingers. He swears and we both burst out laughing. This is fun; I never have this kind of fun with Carter…

We laugh and eat some more, when someone walks in the doorway… it's actually three someones; Haymitch, Wiress and Trixie.

"What the hell?" Is Haymitch's first reaction when he sees us. We burst out laughing again, I don't remember the last time I was this happy. "What are you two doing?" He takes in me, in my pajamas, and Finnick sitting together, me over him, with junk food surrounding us. We must look so strange.

"We're seeing how much junk food we can eat!" I say excitedly. Trixie giggles.

"It's so early though! Odair, why are you up?"

"I… uh… couldn't sleep?" Wow, he's so lying. What was the real reason he was up? I nudge him with my leg so only he can tell I want his attention, and he turns to face me. I question him with my eyes; he just looks away. Hmm.

Haymitch just grumble in response, Wiress rolls her eyes at him. They both go to the opposite end of the room, leaving us alone again. "So why _are_ you up this early, Finn?" I ask him, raising my eyebrows.

"No reason." He says with a smile. I decide to believe him.

* * *

><p><em>Well, I hope that was a bit more cheery! Despite all they've been through, they still only are teenagers, so they deserve to have fun and pig out every once in a while xD Leave me reviews and tell me what you think!<em> :)


	18. Chapter 17: Body Heat

_Thanks for the reviews, guys! I woke up to 5 new ones :):) Sorry about the short chapter, but I'll post another one (or maybe two!) up later today!_

_I hope you like it, I tried to focus more on the games in this one! + Gemma's feelings, of course ;)_

_Anyways, Review! They fuel my writing and they make my day!_

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p><em>BANG! BANG!<em>

I watch in horror as the girl from 5 (a career) & the boy from District 7 gets blown to bits.

We're all waiting on our dinners, yet another day has gone by here in the Capitol. I spent the day with Finnick and Trixie, watching the games and annoying Haymitch. It was fun, despite all that has been happening in my life recently…

I've been thinking a lot about Carter… and after spending so much time with Finnick, I'm not quite sure if I should be with him any more… I mean, I love him so much, but I think only as a friend. As my best friend.

I think I have grown some romantic feelings for Finnick. But there are two problems with that. One, He can literally have any single girl he wants, so why would he want me? And two, how am I possibly supposed to break it to Carter? He's head over heels in love with me.

The whole time I've been here at the Capitol, I've barely left Finnick's side. Everything about him is perfect – he's hilarious, he's wonderful with Trixie, he's always there for me, I know he would never leave me, and his looks are just an added bonus.

And, another great thing is that he knows what I'm going through, as a victor.

"Gemmmma, hello?" Finnick's amazing voice breaks me from my thoughts. I smile. "Good, you're back. Dinners here. Seeder said she'll feed Trixie, eat with me." He grabs my hand and drags me to a table, I find my hand tingles at his touch, and I bite my lip.

We sit there, quiet for a while. We don't say a word, oddly. Trixie runs over to me, face full of food. "Mama!"

I laugh, "Look at you! Did you run away from Seeder, little Monkey?"

She grins and nods her head. I pick her up and spin her around in a circle; she's out of herself in laughter. I grab her close to me and tickle her, and she laughs some more. "Come on, let's go back to Seeder, 'kay?"

"Okay, Mama!" she says, huge grin on her face. I walk her over and sit her down next to Seeder, "Now finish your dinner. Thanks, Seeder."

She smiles and continues to feed Trix. I walk back over to Finnick, he just smirks at me.

I smile and roll my eyes, "What?" I ask him.

"Nothing, nothing. You two are just so cute."

It should be illegal how red my face turns, "Thanks?" I giggle.

"I love how easily I can make you blush, too." He smirks.

"You do not-" He winks at me and I turn red again. I roll my eyes. "Whatever!"

I get up and leave the laughing Finnick to go watch the games. I ask Chaff what's going on and he says, "The careers are turning on each other…"

I watch as the careers all argue, the boy from district 2 snarls something to the boy from district 4, and they both raise their weapons. The girl from 4 looks shocked and scared, trying to tell the boy from 4 to stop. They must be friends, or lovers even.

The boy from 2 uses all of his might to bring back his sword, and drive it through the other boy. But right before it touches his skin, the girl jumps in the way.

I gasp as I watch the girl sacrifice herself for her district partner. They all gasp, and the boy from two starts saying "Katrina! No no no no no!" and pacing back and forth.

Her district partner holds her hand as she dies, and she whispers something to him that the cameras can't quite pick out. Her eyes start to close, and her breathing stops.

_BANG!_

The boy from 4 spends a few moments crying, but then his sadness turns to anger. He jumps up and full out attacks the boy from 2. Neither of them got weapons. The boy from 4 just keeps punching him and kicking him with everything he's got... eventually the boy underneath him starts to cough up blood, and I know he's dying, but before he passes out on the ground, he gets away from the other guy, and he manages to grab a knife, that he sends flying through the attackers throat.

They both collapse at the same time, and just like that, all 3 careers are dead and gone.

_BANG! BANG!_

I've never seen that in the games before. I've never seen the careers turn on each other like that.

Chaff breaks the silence, "We're down to the final 8! Shit always goes down after the final 8!" And I think back to their plan… all they have to do is kill 1 more loner, and then they can go through with their plan. Uh oh.

I spoke to soon. Or actually I thought to soon. As soon as I thought that, it showed the other group (I'm just going to call them that, from now on, cause they aren't careers and they definitely aren't anti careers) surrounding the last loner, the 14 year old boy from 3. "Please, just… just make it fast." He begs them. My heart breaks for this little boy.

The girl from 7 smiles her sly smile, "Will do." She says. The boy squeezes his eyes shut as she takes up her axe and slices his head clean off.

My dinners coming back up, I can feel it. I run to a garbage can, and throw my guts up. I'm not the only victor; Jolie and a few other victors are throwing up too.

That was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.

Once I'm done I walk back over and sit by Chaff. "Finn!" I shout out, every victor turns to look at me.

"What?" He shouts back, from the opposite corner of the room, where he's talking to Haymitch.

"Can I have some gum?" I scream.

"You couldn't have come over to ask me that?" He laughs.

"No! Come here!" So he walks over, all eyes still on us.

"Hey" I say, smiling when he comes over.

"Hey, babe, you want some gum?"

I nod my head furiously and he takes out the mint gum. I take one greedily and put it in my mouth, "Thanks."

"No problem," And he goes back to Haymitch. I can feel their eyes burning into the back of my neck as I hear Haymitch snicker. Oh well.

I watch the screen some more, and the girl from 7 seems very proud of herself. They are talking about their plan again, and they said they are going to go through with it in the morning.

They don't have very much work to do, cause the anti careers are planning on staying in the cornucopia tonight, since they just fought off 5 of these big cat type of animal that were in the building they were staying in.

I wish I could warn them.

But of course, me with my bad luck, I can't.

Wait a second. Ash and that Miles kid are climbing into the same sleeping bag… Roland laughs at them as he tucks little Zayna into hers before climbing into his.

Ash rolls her eyes, "Body heat, dumb ass." Yeah right, body heat. I have to smile at them, it's kind of cute.

I turn my attention back to the other group, and they are all going to sleep, too. They plan on waking up throughout the night to go hunt down the anti careers.

I have a feeling that tomorrow is going to be interesting.

* * *

><p><em>Reviewers question: <em>**Who's your perfect Johanna Mason?**_ Mine is definitely Naya Rivera; it's creepy how much I pictured her like that!_


	19. Chapter 18: The winner of the Games

_Hope you like the chapter! I'll probably post one more later tonight, stay tuned! _

_Leave me a review and tell me what you thought of the 68th hunger games (and the winner) !_

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p>I manage to convince Finnick to stay the night with me, but he said he has to leave now for a few hours. I already know why, so I don't make him tell me. I just give him a sad smile, and wish him good luck. I will have to do the same thing next year, ugh.<p>

I snuggle down on the couch in front of the screen and wait for Finnick to come back. Most of the victors are already gone back to their rooms to sleep, and this time Jolie offered to take Trixie with her to her room. I agreed; I think she only did it so me and Finnick can be alone.

Hours pass and there's still no show of Finnick. I decide that he's probably up in his room, cleaning up, so I wait some more.

And some more. And some more.

It's been a very long time since he left, and I'm starting to worry. Nothing happening in the games, all of the tributes are sleeping. The other group aren't up yet. I notice that Ash is smiling in her sleep as she cuddles Miles. I laugh to myself.

Enough is enough; I'm going to go find Finnick. I get up from my spot on the couch and tip toe over to the elevator. I don't know why I'm creeping around, it's not like anyone can hear me if they're all asleep. Maybe it's because I don't want anyone to see me going to Finnick's room in the middle of the night… they might get the wrong impression, if you know what I mean.

I make my way to his room and I knock lightly on the door. "Who is it?" He calls out.

"Finn? It's Gemma. Are you okay?"

He waits a bit before opening the door a crack, "Gem? It's okay, I'm fine. I'll be down stairs in a bit… go back down."

I raise my eyebrows at him. "Something's wrong with you Finnick. Let me in."

"Gemma…. No."

"Yes." And I push open the door. I gasp when I see his room, there's blood all over the floor. He shuts the door and I look at him; he's just got a towel wrapped around his waist, and there are scratch marks, bruises, and cuts all over his perfect chest and back.

"Oh, Finnick… what happened to you?" I whisper.

"It's nothing, Gem, really. I'm fine. I'm going to take a shower, wait here." So while he's gone to shower I clean up his room, wipe up all the blood.

I notice on his bedside table there's a picture of him, the other mentor for four Mags, and a man that looks like an older Finnick… must be his father or his brother. They are all laughing and at the beach. They look so happy.

I'm holding the picture when a voice behind me startles me, "What are you doing?" Finnick asks me, walking over to me.

"I was cleaning up your room, and I saw this picture… it's really nice, Finn. Who's this man?"

He swallows, "That was… my uh… dad." He obviously doesn't like talking about it. I turn around and wrap my arms around his waist; he's just wearing jeans, no shirt.

"its okay, Finn. We don't have to talk about it." So we just stand there, hugging each other. I trace the scratches and cuts on his back that are no longer bleeding. "So what happened to you? I waited for you, but you didn't come… I was scared something happened."

"Nah, I'm fine. Seriously, babe, don't worry about it." Then he flashes me his famous Finnick Odair smile.

"Well… if you are fine, put on a shirt and we'll go down to watch the games?" He nods and pulls a shirt over his head. I grab his hand and drag him down.

Once we're down there I push him down on the couch and lie down across him so my heads in his lap. He starts playing with my hair, weaving all kinds of different things out of it, like he's making a net. I just watch his fingers move swiftly, it's kind of mesmerising.

"Hey Finnick?" I say.

"Uh huh?"

"I… I don't know what I should do about Carter…"

He stops, and stares at me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing… I just… I don't know if I want to be with him anymore."

I see something click in his eyes, then he smiles and shrugs. "Well only you know the way you feel, people change…"

I sigh, and turn my head back to the screen so he can continue playing with my hair. He doesn't though, so I turn back to him. He's just staring at me.

I raise my eyebrows, "Yes?"

"Why do you have a sudden change of your feelings of Carter, Gem?"

I drop my gaze from his eyes and twirl my fingers around each other, "Um… I uh… think I might have feelings for someone else… that's all."

He lifts my chin with his hand so I'm forced to look at him, "Who, Gemma?"

I swallow, "Um…"

"Is it me?" He whispers. That's Finnick for you, always getting to the point.

I can't take my eyes away from his face, and I nod slowly. He smiles, "Good, cause I think I feel the same way about you, babe." Then he brings his head down and he kisses me, slowly and passionately.

I smile through the kiss and when we finally break away I say, "But you're Panem's heartthrob Finnick Odair… you can have any single girl you want, why would you choose me? I'm ugly and psycho!"

His jaw drops, "First of all, you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I knew there was something about you the first time I saw you. And second of all, screw the mental health issues; you're just as normal as me!"

I smile and blush, "Thanks Finn…" I whisper. And we don't say anything else, he just goes back to playing with my hair, and I watch the sleeping tributes.

Suddenly the girl from 7 is up and awake, waking up the other tributes. "C'mon! Now's our chance!" She says.

So they all jump up and pack up their things, and take off full speed towards the cornucopia. An alarm goes through the entire building, waking everyone up, to let them know that something important is going to happen.

Victors rush into the room, all wiping their eyes and yawning, Haymitch walks over besides us, looks at me lying down on Finn, rolls his eyes then lifts up my legs and sits in under me, gently laying them back down so I'm lying down across both of them. They are both actually very comfortable.

They just made it to the Cornucopia, and they all stop short when they see the anti careers are already up and waiting for them. Ash is in the front, Miles right behind her. Roland got Zayna pushed behind him, so she won't get hurt. They just stand there, staring at each other for a few seconds.

"Well?" She asks the district 7 girl, "What's up with you wanting to get revenge on us, hm? Get over yourself already."

The district 7 girl releases a growl from her throat and takes a step forward; so does Ash. They are facing off, and they're only inches apart. I don't know what Ash is doing, but she lets the district 7 girl wrap her hands around her neck.

Ash just stands there, smile on her face, watching the girl. Her face is turning red from lack of oxygen. That's when I notice it, the whip in the hand behind her back.

She draws her hand back and sends then she whip the girl so hard on her side. I hear the snap from when it makes contact with her skin, and the girl cries out in pain, releasing her hands to clutch her side. "You little bitch!" She screams in her face.

Then it all starts. The girl from 9 and the boy from 10, the other two people of the other group, start attacking Roland and Miles as Ash and the other girl goes at it. Poor Zayna is just standing there, watching, not knowing what to do. She tries to cut in to help Roland, but he orders her to stay away. So she does.

The boy Roland was fighting pulls out a huge knife from his belt, and slits Roland's throat so fast it's unbelievable. Roland falls to the ground, twitching, blood going everywhere.

**_BANG!_**

Ash pushes the girl down and screams for Roland, Miles tells her not to get distracted. Miles is going crazy attacking both of the other team mates, determined not to let them get to Zayna.

He slices the hand off of the girl, and she slips on the ice, smashing her skull in. Her canon goes.

**_BANG!_**

Ash tells Zayna to run to the cornucopia and to hide in there, and that she'll be in there soon. Zayna does as she's told and races off to the inside of the cornucopia. I can see her watching, scared. She raises her bow, and with her perfect aim, sends it flying over Miles shoulder and directly into his opponents' forehead. He turns around and nods in thanks.

**_BANG!_**

Together, Miles and Ash manage to get the girl from 7 on the ice, where she curls up into a ball, whimpering for Ash to stop whipping her. Then they hear it.

**_Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!_**

They all stop what they're doing for one second, and just what I thought they would do, the game makers crack the ice right in under the district 7 girl, Ash and Miles. Zayna is screaming at the top of her lungs, trying to decide whether she should run to try to save them.

The district 7 girl has too many injuries from the whip and she can't swim… she drowns.

**_BANG!_**

Underneath the water, Ash and Miles grip together. Miles can't swim, and they're so deep in under… and the water is so cold…

They must have cameras under the water because I'm watching everything perfectly. Ash tries her hardest to get her shaking hands to drag Miles up out of the water, but it just won't work. Miles knows he's dying. Still underneath the water, he kisses Ash, and then opens his mouth. Hugging Ash, he swallows so much water, going straight to his lungs.

**_BANG!_**

I watch as his eyes close, and he drifts away from Ash, who had to go up for air. She's hysterical, screaming and crying. Then she does what I would have done if it was Ky; she dives right back down in under to try to save him even though he's already dead.

But then something happens, and the game makers close the ice back up, trapping her in under the water to die.

"That's not fair!" I scream.

"Sh…" Finnick squeezes my hand. I'm crying now, this so isn't fair!

She looks up for one split second to see that the ice is closed over, and then she swims down further to Miles body. She doesn't look sad or scared. She looks relieved.

She hugs the lifeless body, and does the same thing he did. She closes her eyes and starts to inhale the water.

**_BANG!_**

"Ladies and gentleman, the winner of the 68th annual hunger games, Zayna Aura!"


	20. Chapter 19: Goodbyes

_Hehehehehe, cliff hanger at the end of this chapter... Just thought I'd put it out tonight so you guys would have to wait a whole day to find out what's going to happen!_

_I got a question though, What do you guys think I should do? After the next chapter, **should I skip right to the next games? Or should I skip a few years, to the 74th games?** What would you prefer? _

_Hope you like the chapter! Review! :D _

_I do not own the hunger games._

* * *

><p>"Finnnnnnick!" I cry while jumping into his arms. We're about to leave the capitol and I'm so sad. I won't get to see Finn for another year, "How am I going to handle not seeing you for a year, Finn!"<p>

We are surrounded by the other victors, everyone saying goodbye to each other. I already said goodbye to all my other friends, me crying at each one. I love them all so much, I don't want to leave.

He bends down and kisses me in front of them all, and once again I hear the whistles. We break apart and I start crying again. I wrap myself around him, "I'm… I'm going to miss you so much!" He just hugs me and plays with my hair.

Penelope says it's time to go, but I just hold onto Finnick tighter, not willing to let go. "Sh… Gem, it's going to be ok… I'll call you every day. Before you know it the games will be here again and we'll be together…"

This just makes me even more depressed and un willing to let go. Penelope snaps her fingers in my face and I threaten to bite her. "Haymitch! Be a dear and pull her off of Mr Odair here." Penelope says to Haymitch. He rolls his eyes but snakes his arm around my waist.

"No, Haymitch!" I say to him, punching his arm. Once he finally got me off of Finnick he slings me over his shoulder. I'm still facing the victors so I lift my head, "See you, Finnick…" He blows me a kiss and blinks at me flirtatiously, I laugh.

"See ya, babe." He says. Haymitch walks me onto the train, and I'm cut off from the victors. He throws me on the couch, and turns to go.

"Wait!" I call after him. He turns and raises his eyebrows. I jump up and fling my arms around his neck, "Bye, Haystack. I'll see you next year."

He smiles, "Bye, Sweetheart. Be a good girl and don't go leaving my daughter, we clear?" He refers to Trixie as his daughter, it's really funny.

I grin and nod as Esmeralda, Mitchell, and a Trixie who is crying very loudly walk onto the stage. I take Trixie from Esmeralda and rock her, "Sh, baby it's going to be fine. You'll see all of your friends soon. We're going home now."

She stops wailing but she still whimpers. After a while she falls asleep in my arms, and I have nothing else to do but think.

Zayna was only pronounced winner yesterday. Because she wasn't hurt at all, she only has to have some mental tests done after the games. Her interview with Caesar was the same day. She was pronounced the youngest victor in history of the Hunger Games.

During her interview she gave one word answers only, and her eyes looked like they were in some faraway place… she was probably thinking about her allies. That or she was thinking about how she wanted to join her sister up in heaven. Who knows.

I cried for hours after she won in Finn's arms, mourning my tribute's deaths. I think most of the victors think we're together, besides from the victor's from one because of Carter. I still don't know how I'm going to break the news to him. At least he won't be waiting for me at the train station, because we weren't supposed to leave for home till tomorrow, but bloody Penelope couldn't wait.

I need to get it done and over with though. So I think I'm going to tell him tonight. I'm going to try to be as nice and kind as I can about it, I mean, other people have fallen out of love before, right? He won't ever understand what I'm going through, because he's not a victor. Besides, he doesn't deserve me or my life to come, he deserves much more.

He deserves to be happy and to grow up and marry a woman who isn't mentally unstable and that won't cheat on him each year with a bunch of old men, even if she's forced too.

But how am I going to survive not being with Finnick for more than 11 months a year? It isn't possible, I'll go even more insane then I already am. Maybe I can move to district 4 and live with him by the sea. I mean, Trixie would love to be able to swim whenever she wanted…

I'm going to try this long separation to see how it works out, and then if I find it extremely hard, we can talk about me moving to four. Yes it will be hard moving from my home district, but what's there for me, really? Esmeralda and Carter… well not even Carter anymore. My mom is dead, My father is missing… there's nothing left for me. I need a change.

I get awoken from my thoughts by our train pulling in the station… have I seriously been thinking for that long? Wow.

I gently take Trixie with me, and I follow Esmeralda off the train. I'm surprised that not one person is there, not even a reporter. I'm glad because I don't want Trixie to be woken up.

I'm finally back to my house in the victors village, and I open the door. Carter must be gone out, cause he's not here. I climb up the stairs and put Trixie in her bed. I shut her door as I leave her room, and I hear a door slam shut from down stairs.

I race down to find it Carter. "Gemma!" He runs to hug me, and I freeze. I can't let him know yet, he's so happy. "I missed you so much." He whispers in my ear as we hug. I don't say anything.

He lets me go after a while, and he takes my hand, dragging me to the kitchen. "Are you hungry?" He asks me.

"A little," I say. "How have you been, Carter?"

"Great... I've been very lonely here without you though. I'm glad you're home." I plop down in a chair at our kitchen table and sigh. "What's wrong?"

I put on a fake smile, "Nothing… nothing... I just miss the other victors." One in particular, actually.

"It's okay, Gem, you'll see them again soon." Hopefully. "What would you like?"

"Nothing, I'm fine. I'll eat later. Tell me what you've been up to?" I'm quite curious, actually.

"Nothing of importance… I've been visiting your parents store a bit though; they have some nice stuff in there." I think of my parents, I miss them…

"Yep, they do." I haven't been in there in so long; I haven't seen any of their new merchandise.

"There's one thing I like a lot in there though,"

"And what's that?" What is he up to?

He comes over next to me and just looks at me for a second. I raise my eyebrows. Then he does the unimaginable.

He halls out a little blue box from his pocket. "This ring." He opens it, and the most beautiful piece of jewelry I've ever seen is in there.

He gets down on one knee, "Gemma Stone, Will you marry me?"

Uh oh.


	21. Chapter 20: Annoying Little Sister

_Oh my gosh guys! So, I go to bed last night and I have 44 reviews... and then when I come home from school today, I have 65! That's pretty amazing in my opinion! Thanks to everyone who reviewed :):) _

_This is just a short filler chapter, I'll post the next one tonight where she goes back to the capitol for the 69th games and she gets reunited with Finny hehe :) _

_Anyways, I think Carter is a Jerk-off, so that's what I portrayed him to be! I hope you all like the chapter! Leave me some more reviews, they really make me feel special!_ c;

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p>No.<p>

No no no no no.

Carter cannot seriously be proposing to me right now. I'm in love with Finnick, not Carter.

"Carter…" I don't know what to say.

He grins, so wide. "Marry me, Gem."

I start crying, letting tears stream down my face. He thinks I'm excited, that's why I'm crying. He's totally wrong. I'm crying, because I'm about to break his heart. "I… I can't, Carter…"

His face drops, and tears well up in his eyes. "Why not Gem? Don't you love me?"

"Of… of course I love you Carter…. But I'm not _in_ love with you." I can feel his heart breaking right there and then on my kitchen floor.

"You love someone else, don't you? Who is it, Gem?" He whispers, staring at the ring. He snaps it shut and throws it so hard at the wall. The box falls apart, leaving a dent in the wall and the ring flying across the floor. I jump. "Who is it? Dammit, Gemma!" He runs his hand through his hair.

"F-finnick Odair… Please Cart-" I put my hand up to try to calm him down, and he bats it away.

"Don't Gem, just… just don't." Then he storms out of the kitchen, and straight out the front door, slamming it shut behind him.

I sink to the floor, and I curl up into a ball, letting the sobs over take me. I think I just lost my best friend, but I had to tell him the truth, I owe him that much.

I lay there all night, just crying and crying. I only stop when I look up and see Trixie sat down in the kitchen doorway, watching me. "Why are you crying, mama?" She asks me.

"Come here, baby." She crawls over to me, and we just sit there, hugging for a long time.

Eventually I get up to get Trixie some bread. She sits at the table, eating silently, and I go to use the phone. Finnick should be home by now.

"Hello?" He answers when I call him.

"Finn?" I say.

"Who is this?"

"It's me, Finn. Gemma."

"Oh! Hey babe, how are you? How was the train ride?"

"He proposed to me Finnick." I whisper, completely ignoring his questions.

He doesn't answer for a long time, I know he's upset. "And what did you say?"

"I… I told him no."

I hear him sigh in relief, "Thank goodness… I was worried you would say yes. I don't think I would be able to handle that, Gemma… I love you to much."

I completely ignore his statement, "I love you too." It's like I can feel him smiling over the phone, "But will he hate me, Finn?"

"He might, for a while, but he'll move on. Trust me."

"I do." We chat for a bit longer, and then we hang up.

The rest of the day is pretty boring. I take Trixie with me into the square to go shopping because I need to get my mind off of Carter, only to receive dirty looks from people of my district. They all hate me. I hate all of them.

…

6 Months Later

…

The past 6 months have gone by fast. I find it very lonely. My only friends are Esmeralda, Mitchell and two other victors Cashmere and Gloss, who are brother and sister victors. I spend my days going to each of their houses, then to the square to spend money on things I don't need.

I can't even escape to Ky to talk to him, because the capitol are still making me take the stupid drugs.

Trixie has been doing well with her Epilepsy; she hasn't had another seizure since that day in the capitol, which I'm relieved about.

I talk to Finnick every day, Haymitch most days, and sometimes I call Seeder or Enobaria to talk. I haven't said a word to Carter since the day I came home.

I see him sometimes in the square, and he's always with this girl. He has obviously moved on fast enough, it looks like he already has another girlfriend. Even though I love Finnick, it still hurts to see them holding hands and him kissing another girl. But at the same time I'm happy he moved on.

Today is the day when Zayna comes to one for her victory tour. I'm currently getting Trixie dressed. She keeps talking on and on about meeting a new friend.

We are eventually ready to go, and we meet Esmeralda on the way. Once we get to the stage we take our spot in the crowd with all the other victors. The little Zayna walks onto the stage.

"Um… Hello, District 1… Your tributes, Roland and Ash, were so kind… We spent a lot of time together, and they were like my brother and sister… I really miss them, and I really wish they didn't have to die… Having to watch both of them die was that hardest thing I ever had to see… besides watching my sister-" Her voice cracks, and tears stream down her face. "Besides watching my sister die on TV. At least they are in a better place now, and wherever they are I'm sure my sister is with them. Thank you all."

I must have tears streaming down my face, because Trixie reaches up and wipes them away. "Don't cry, Mama." I smile, and we're rushed off to meet her.

She has to meet victors from oldest to youngest, so I'm last. It takes quite a long time to get to me, because there are so many people. Once she gets to me, I don't shake her hand. I pull her into a hug and we cry together.

Of course this isn't of "protocol" so as soon as we break apart a peacekeeper slaps me and knocks me over. I forgot how badly getting hit felt like. I just roll my eyes and stand up, kind of used to it now.

Zayna looks absolutely terrified and I say, "Don't worry, that won't happen to you. The capitol just doesn't like me, but they like you. I'm Gemma, by the way. Your sister… was my friend in the games." I see her swallow, and she tries her best not to cry. "It's okay, we can talk later."

Then she's rushed away from me to get ready for the feast.

…

"Hey, Gemma…" I hear someone whisper behind me from where I'm sitting around the table at the feast. I look up to see Zayna, who is actually smiling.

"Hey, Zayna, how are you?" She just shrugs, and I tell her to sit beside me. Why not add another member to our victor family? She can be my _annoying little sister that I've never wanted but can't help but love._

We talk all night, and the feast is soon going to be over. Trixie absolutely loves Zayna, and she wouldn't leave her alone the whole night. "You know, Zayna, you can come to me about any-"

I get cut off by a snicker, and look up. Guess who is standing beside me.

Carter. Wonderful.

I roll my eyes at him, and he smirks. "Zayna, this is Carter… Carter, this is Zayna." I introduce them. Zayna offers a very tiny smile before turning back around in her seat so we can talk. I leave Trixie with her and get up to talk to him.

We walk away from the crowd and I speak, "Already found another girlfriend, Carter?"

He scoffs, "Of course. How have you been?"

I shrug, "I've been better, I guess… Why are you even here, Carter? Why are you even talking to me? It's been 6 months!"

He looks away from me, focusing on the ground. "Well… I miss you, Gem."

Now it's my turn to laugh in his face, and he stares at me, shocked. "It took you 6 months to figure out that you _missed_ me? Great to know I haven't been on your mind, because just to let you know, you are all I've been thinking about!" That isn't a lie. I'm constantly thinking about him, and how I can apologize; but then somehow my thoughts end up at Finnick and how much I miss him.

I turn around and attempt storm off but he grabs my arm. "Gemma, Wait a second…"

I turn around and look at him annoyed, "No. You wait a second, Carter. I've spent the last 6 months just thinking about you, over and over. But not in the way you would think. I haven't been mending a broken heart… I've been missing my best friend. But obviously you don't feel the same way, so I guess this is goodbye."

Then I turn around and walk away from him, and he doesn't grab my arm this time.

Was that the last time I am ever going to talk to my best friend?


	22. Chapter 21: You're a dead girl, Suzi

_And here's the reaping! I know I said I'd have the reunion in this chapter, but I decided against it because it would have been so long! _

_I'm sure you all know who is going to win these games *wink wink*_

_I hope you all like the chapter, review!_

**Queenofswordsandfire**_ - Annie is going to be in this fic (I love her to much not to include her!) but she isn't going to have a big role. She definitely isn't going to be romantically involved with Finnick, he's with Gemma now ;) So you'll just have to wait to see what happens!_

**Booksandmusic97**_ - Yes, all of those review were from you today, thank you very much! :)_

_I do not own the hunger games !_

* * *

><p>…<p>

6 months later

…

I really don't know if I should be excited right now.

I'm so so so happy that I get to spend the next few weeks with my victor family, Finnick included. It's been really hard without them, I hate the separation. I wish there could be one district just for victors.

It has been decided that after these games me and Trixie are going to move to district 4 to be closer to Finnick. We will move into the house next door to Finnick and Mags in the victor's village, right next to the sea.

So I'm EXTREMELY excited about that. I can't wait.

But then, on the other hand, it's going to be so hard leaving Esmeralda and Mitchell and Cashmere and Gloss. But I promised I'd come back to visit whenever they'd want.

And then there is this little issue I am going to have during the games this year. The one where I sell my body to creepy old guys.

Nobody knows, still, besides from Esmeralda, and I'm glad about that. I'm sure they will find out eventually though if they will be with me constantly; which they are.

I sigh lying down in my bed. My baby turns 3 today, where did the time go? It only seems like I was in labor on reaping day yesterday. Oh wait, since then I've been through the games and I've mentored once, that's where the time went.

Since Zayna's visit I haven't talked to Carter. He completely ignores me whenever he sees me, and I do the same. It's really hard on Trixie though; she misses him. But whenever she starts to cry or pout about him, I just tell her that she will be seeing all of her victor friends soon and she cheers right up.

I crawl out from my comfy bed, sad that I will have to be leaving it. I crack open my door, only to find Trixie standing there grinning up at me. Her new thing is running; she is just constantly running! It gets tiring having to chase after her so much.

Before she can turn and run I grab her up and swing her around while laughing some evil laugh. I tickle her and she bursts out in giggles. "Happy birthday, Princess!" I say to her, putting her down. "Let's go get you dressed, we're going soon!"

"Going to see Trixie's friends!" She says, racing off to her room. She may not be that fast, and I can catch up to her just by walking, but she can keep going for a long time.

I get her dressed and cleaned up, walk her over to Esmeralda's, then walk back over to my home to get dressed.

I put on a pink sundress, and high heel shoes. Rather girly, but oh well.

Then when I'm finally ready, the reaping is about to begin, so I meet the other victors and my daughter on the way. I'm planning on having a little birthday party for Trixie in the capitol. Haymitch insists that the bakery in his district, Mellark's Bakery, makes the best cakes, so he's going to bring that along with him. I'm praying it isn't going to be a drunken mess.

Once we're finally there we take our place on the stage, and I warn Trixie to be quiet. Penelope starts talking about how much of an honor it is to be here today, and how much she loves district 1. Then she moves on to the past victors, and it's crazy how much the crowd loves everyone. Until they reach me. Then they fall silent.

I really don't know why so many people don't like me. I'm not that mean, am I? I don't try to be. I always thought its because I'm friends with Haymitch and Chaff and them… all of the victors, other than the careers. Oh well, they can go screw themselves for all I care.

"Well…. Okay then." Penelope tries to pick up after the silence. I just roll my eyes. She calls the mayor on the stage, and he goes on and on… it's really boring.

Finally they move onto the tributes, "Let's start with the female tributes, shall we?" She reaches her hand in, "Suzi Nicola!"

I smirk. Of course it's Suzi. _You're dead, bitch; I_ think.

Okay that was horrible. I admit.

Me and her go way back. We were best friends from the day we were born until we were around 11. Remember how I told you I became friends with Carter on the first day of school? Well, Me and Suzi were friends before then. She had a problem with my friendship with Carter, I don't know why.

So after a few years of me and Carter being friends, Suzi snapped. She freaked out at me all the time for hanging out with him, I always just thought that she was jealous, but, who knows?

So anyways when we were 11 she freaked out and said every mean thing an 11 year old could think of. She left me running home in tears, while she laughed in my face.

Ever since then we've hated each other. She grew up to be the popular head cheerleader in high school; I grew up to be the teen mom that eventually got chosen for the hunger games. No wonder everyone in the district hates me, I wouldn't be surprised if she turned all of them on me.

But now, karma is coming to get her, and on her last reaping she got reaped. And guess who her mentor is? Me!

Her eyes widen in pure fear as she remembers I'm her mentor. My smile grows into a terrifying one. I would definitely be scared if I was in her situation.

She takes her place on the stage and she stands there trying to act like she's having the time of her life. She bobs up and down on her knees in her little mini skirt and tube top, revealing way too much for my liking, while giggling and winking at guys.

What's the worst though, is that the district loves her. I know she will get many sponsors.

I can't say I want her dead, I mean, that's just pure evil. I'm not _that_ cruel. I just don't know if I can handle mentoring with her for the rest of my life.

That's the only thing about moving to four; Once Trixie is twelve she is still a part of the district 1 reaping, and I still have to mentor for the district 1 kids. Not 4.

"And the male tribute is… Drake Blacken!" Another 18 year old kid runs onto the stage. He was obviously eager to get up here, he was more than likely going to volunteer. They will both be careers for sure.

They shake hands and Suzi bats her eyelashes and winks at him, he rolls his eyes.

He's obviously not interested.

It finally ends and I walk up to Suzi, "Well well well… Hello there, old friend." I give her that same sly smile.

She gulps and I see the fear in her eyes so clear it's unbelievable. She tries to cover it up by putting on a smile. I say sweetly, "You know, you don't really have to be afraid of me," She grins for real this time and I lean into her ear and hiss, "But you may want too. Karma's a bitch, Suz."

I used my old nickname for her; it sounds weird rolling off my tongue. I pull away from her and give her the same sly smile, and she's so scared she actually starts shaking. I can literally see her hand moving. I laugh and walk off, flipping my hair in pure mock of her. That really used to annoy me, when I used to see her flipping her hair in the halls.

Eventually the goodbyes are over and we are all gathered on the train. Me, Esmeralda, and Mitchell are on one side of the table, The tributes on the other. Penelope and Trixie are in a different room.

It's silence; we are all just staring at each other. Awkward.

"Well," I say, leaning my chair back, "The boy tribute here looks like he's good to go, correct?" He smiles proudly and nods. "Okay. And now you, Suz, what can you do?"

"You know me, Gemma." Is all she says.

I burst out in laughter, "The last time I talked to you was when we were 11 and you were telling me off! Do you really think I care about you enough to know if you train or not?" Hurt flashes through her golden eyes, and I feel bad, "Fine fine fine. I know you're a cheerleader and you run a lot, and when we were kids you used to talk about training. That's all, really. We'll try our best to get either of you home."

Then I leave the table to go and watch the reapings in my room. I'd prefer to be alone than with those tributes.

The reapings are actually kind of boring this year. There's only one interesting girl from 7 who burst out crying, her name is Johanna Mason. She looks quite tiny but I know she's older than 12. My guess would be is that she's 14 or 15. She's a bloodbath for sure.

After the reaping recaps are done I relieve Penelope of a sleeping Trixie and go back to my room again.

I fall asleep quickly, because I want tomorrow to come faster so I can see my adoptive family; but then I remember.

More awaits me than just family…


	23. Chapter 22: Happy Reunion

_Yes, these are Johanna's games! Looks like I ruined the winner already :( _

_Hope you like it :) Review!_

**2B-in . us . 4once** _Thank you! That how I always imagined the victors were :P I personally think there is a whole lot more to Haymitch than everyone thinks._

**XxWinterFallzxX** _Thank you for the review/favorite! I'm glad you like it! :)_

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p>"FINNICK!" I scream; I'm looking out the window of my room on the train and I see the one and only Finnick Odair in the distance, waiting for us to pull in. I run full force to the others who are waiting patiently by the door, "Finnick! Finnick!"<p>

Penelope tells me to stop screaming, and Trixie is dying in laughter. We are just pulling into the station, the train is still moving, when I ply the automatic doors open and jump out. I fly through the air for just a second, before falling to the ground.

Before Finnick even realizes that I just jumped out of a moving train, I'm up and running towards him, "Finnick! Oh my god!" He laughs and holds his arms open for me; I run into him and jump up, wrapping my legs around his waist.

I start crying, I don't remember the last time I was this happy to see someone – probably when Trixie was first born. I pull away from him, and he pushes the hair out of my damp face, "Hey, Babe. I missed you so much." He whispers before kissing me.

I laugh through the kiss, because I just don't know what else to do right now. After a while I hear a snicker, and I twist my head around only to see Suzi standing there, laughing at us.

"So, you do have a boyfriend, Gemma?" He voice is oozing with sarcasm. She's suddenly not afraid of me.

I narrow my eyes at her, and her fear comes back; she sinks into herself. "Don't piss me off, Suz. I'm the one who's going to be keeping you alive in there, remember? And Suzi, this is Finnick-" I turn back around to a smiling Finnick and kiss him again, "And Finnick, this is Suzi. She's one of my tributes this year. An ex best friend of mine, shall we say."

He pays absolutely no attention to Suzi or what I just said, He's just looking at me; searching my face. He gives me a questioning look, "I need to talk to you after, okay? We should be here alone for another few hours…"

Suzi just storms away and I sink into Finnick, leaning my head on his shoulder. "Of course; I'm just so happy to be back with you. I missed you so much it hurt."

He sighs happily and begins to carry me away when someone with long nails and a lot of strengths flips us around. "What were you thinking, Gemma! You can't go around jumping out of moving vehicles!" Penelope screams in my face. I'm startled and I inch into Finnick a bit more with each of her words.

"Sorry, Penelope… I just, really needed to get to Finnick. Sorry." Then she stomps off to find Suzi.

"Where's my baby sister to?" Finnick asks me. He's obviously referring to Trixie, but I don't think he realizes that if we ever get married he's going to be her father, not her brother.

"She must be gone with Es." I slowly drop my legs back down to the ground, let go of him, and grab his hand in mine instead, interlocking our fingers. "Hey, Finn?"

"Uh huh?"

"Do you think you could help me for one day?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"Help me not take my medication for one day. I really need to talk to Ky. I haven't talked to him in months… I really miss him." We had this conversation so many times before.

He sighs, "Gemma… You know you get a little crazy when you don't take it."

"I don't care!" I pout, "I want to talk to Ky!"

He leans over and kisses my forehead, "We'll see, alright?"

"Fine." I huff.

I still can't believe he's a year younger than me; he's only 18. I swear to god he could pass for mid 20s, he's that big. He's like over 6 foot; my head only reaches his shoulders.

"What are your tributes like this year?" I ask him.

"They are regular careers… I doubt either of them will win."

"Same here. Did you see that little one from seven?"

He thinks for a minute, "Yeah, yeah. The Johanna girl right?"

"Yep. She was the only interesting one at the reapings; the game makers will have to provide a lot of entertainment in these games to keep it interesting, you think?"

He just mumbles something and we enter the building. I have so many memories here now, good and bad. He brings me to the elevator and presses '4'. "I'm on floor one, genius." I say, punching his arm.

He laughs, "I know that, but we are going to talk in my room. Anyone looking for you will be smart enough to know you're with me."

That's true. I'm in no mood to argue, so I just follow him to his room. Each year he gets the same room at the end of the hallway; why he likes the room farthest away from everything is beyond me.

Once we're in his room, I lie down on the bed, kicking off my shoes. He sits in front of me, cross legged at the end of the bed. I place my feet on his lap and he laughs.

"So, what did you want to talk about that was so private?" I ask him. Honestly I'm very curious to hear the answer.

"Did… did Snow maybe visit you?" Uh oh. He wants to know if I'm being forced into anything, like him.

"Um… No?" I say; it comes out more of a question than a statement, unfortunately.

"It's okay, Gem… you really don't have to lie to me…"

"It's not safe," I whisper, my eyes darting around the room. There could be cameras hidden in here.

He notices my eyes, "It's okay, there aren't any cameras or anything… I have connections to people in the capitol… you can say anything here."

I look him straight in the eyes while tears well up in mine. "I don't want to talk about it, Finn…" I trail off.

He hauls me from my end of the bed up into his lap and cradles my head to his chest. "It's okay, baby, it's okay. I think I understand." I pull out of his soothing hold and look up into his eyes. "He's going to make you like me, isn't he?"

I open my mouth to speak but my bottom lip just quivers, so I nod instead. "It's okay… I won't let anyone hurt you, Gem… I won't let anyone hurt my Gemma." _My Gemma._ God I love how he says that!

We stay like that for a long time, until eventually we decide to go see if anyone else has arrived. We find Penelope in the halls, "Has anyone else arrived, Penelope?" I ask her.

She flips through some papers she's holding and nods, "Everyone, actually."

I turn my face to Finnick and he turns to look at me. We both grin mischievously, knowing what we have to do. "Let's do it." I say. We are both thinking the same thoughts, and we race to the elevator.

"Who first?" I ask him, looking at all the buttons.

His thumb goes up and presses the '12'. He smiles wildly. I burst out in laughter, Haymitch will no doubt be drunk, or hung-over at least. This is perfect.

We get off the elevator and tip toe over to Haymitch's door. Finnick lightly taps it, and we here a grumble from inside. Haymitch throws open the door, and we bombard him; Finn pushes past him and starts jumping up and down on his bed, and I run straight for him to give him a hug. "HAYSTACK!" I scream with my arms around his waist.

He has no idea who we are or what's going on for a few seconds; then it clicks in his mind and he hugs me back. "Hey you two. Wait a second, Finnick get off my bed!" He half shouts, half slurs.

Me and Finnick burst out in laughter, and Finnick jumps down off the bed and walks over to give Haymitch a one-arm-half-man-hug type thing.

Then we take off out of the room again, and I say, "We'll be back later Haystack, we just got to go see everyone else first!"

We scoot back into the elevator, and I press the 11. We'll work our way down.

We knock on Chaff's room obnoxiously, and Finnick uses an extremely deep and dark voice to say, "Chaff! Open this door or we're breaking it down!"

Chaff appears in the door way and burst out in laughter when he sees the two of us standing there, "I figured it was you two!" He says. He hugs me, and then slings me over his shoulder with his good arm. I pound on his back, which is very difficult to do when I'm laughing so hard, until he finally drops me.

Finnick helps me up, and then says hello to Chaff.

Then we're off to the Seeders. Then we go see Jolie from 8; then one of Finnick's drinking friends named Blight from 7; then I insist on seeing Mags; then we see Wiress; then Beetee; then Enobaria and Brutus.

Once we've been through all of them I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts. Finnick seems to be having the same problem, because he's bent over in the middle of the hall way trying to catch his breath.

We saw Finnick's escort in the hallway earlier, and she told us that when we're done we are expected in the victor's lounge, where I'm guess we will meet Zayna. That's where we head off to now.

As we walk in the door, I announce that tonight is going to be my one and only night that I will allow myself to get drunk. It's going to be awesome.

"Yay, drunk Gemma!" Finnick mocks.

"Oh, shut up Finn. Tomorrow may be one of the only days I can nurse a hangover." Because all of the other days I will be in bed. And not alone.

He seems to understand and he gives me the saddest look I've ever seen on him. "Cheer up." I tell him.

He puts on his seductive smile, raises one of his eyebrows, snakes his hand around my waist and pulls me right into him before kissing me right in front of everyone. There's the classic Finnick Odair.

I giggle as I pull away from him, only to notice that every single pair of eyes are on us, and all of Finn's drinking buddies are smirking at us. I roll my eyes and walk over to Haymitch, "What? You've never seen Finnick seduce anyone before? Jesus. I need a drink."

Chaff laughs and hands me a bottle of something that I knock back. I decide that before I drink anymore I want to see Trixie, so I tell them that I will be back.

I search around the room, and I eventually find Trixie up in Seeder's arms. "Hey, Princess. Did you see all of your friends yet?"

"Yep!" She says with such excitement I laugh.

"And did they all wish you a happy birthday?"

"Yes!" She is practically jumping up and down in Seeders arms. I kiss her forehead.

"Are you going to stay with Seeder tonight so mommy can go to a special adult party?"

Her smile lessens but she tells me she will, and I say I'll see her later; then I walk back over to my boys. They are all gathered around a table – Haymitch, Finnick, Chaff, Blight & Brutus.

"Hey boys, I'm back. Now fill me up." I say, sliding a glass over to Blight, who seems to be the bar tender right now. He fills it with some clear liquid and slides it back to me. I sip it gingerly and take my seat between Haymitch and Brutus. "So, how have you all been?" I say casually.

Haymitch snorts, "My life sucks."

Chaff laughs his bellowing laugh, "I know yours do. You're the only drunkard in district 12!"

I then realize that I've only been to district 12 once, and that was for my victory tour almost two years ago. I cut in before Haymitch can answer. "I forgot that you lived in district 12, Hay. Maybe I can come visit you after the games, you can show me around."

"There's not much to see, just a whole lot of dirt and starvation."

I roll my eyes and chug down another drink. Before long I'm drunk.

I look around and everything's foggy. Me, Haymitch and Chaff are the only ones drunk. Someone tells Finnick to get me up to bed, and everyone starts to clear out of the room.

Finnick slides his arm around me to help me along. I close my eyes because the room Is spinning.

We get into the elevator and after what feels like forever I hear a ding. After that, everything goes black.

…

I slowly yawn. My head is pounding. I slide my eyes open, only to realize I'm in Finnick's bed, and he's tangled around me. With my free arm I lift up the sheet only to drop it back down.

The only article of clothing I'm wearing is Finnick's two large t-shirt and my underwear. So I really want to know what happened to my jeans, t-shirt, socks, and bra?

"Finnick," I nudge his arm that's slung over my chest.

"Huh? Oh! Hey, good morning beautiful." He says. I turn to face him, and he's smiling.

"Um… did we… uh…" His face turns red.

"No!" He says, like he's defending himself. "Why? Did you _want _us two?" He smirks before leaning into kiss me.

I pull away and laugh, "It's okay, I've got a killer headache. I just wanted to know what happened to my clothes?"

"You don't remember? You kinda started to strip off when you got up here." Is he joking?

I bury my face in my hands, "No I didn't, did I?"

He laughs, "Yeah, you did. But I used all my will power and stopped you before you became completely naked and put my shirt on you."

I peek through my fingers and see a pile of clothes on the floor, my clothes. "Well thanks, I guess." I slide out of bed and move to the pile of clothes. "Close your eyes." I instruct him before changing.

He scoffs, "Like I need to close my eyes. I've already seen you, babe."

I blush like an idiot, "But I was drunk! I didn't know what I was doing. That doesn't count."

"Well at least it was great for me. You know, you should get drunk more often." He slowly closes his eyes.

I slide on all of my clothes, then turn back to face him, only to realize he had his eyes open the whole time, watching me. I turn bright red again, "Like what you see?"

He's out of bed and holding me so fast it unbelievable. He kisses up my neck before breathing in my ear, "Of course."

I smirk and use everything I have in me to push him away so I run to the door. "Well at least that's good. I got to go meet my tributes for breakfast See you, darling." Then I leave without another word.


	24. Chapter 23: A little Loopy

_Hope you like this chapter! Read and Review! :)_

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p>If I told you I was embarrassed right now, that would be an understatement.<p>

But I really shouldn't be, right? I mean it was only Finnick… He's my boyfriend and I love him, so it shouldn't matter.

If only I wasn't drunk. Ugh.

I'm not mad at myself for doing that, I'm mad at myself because I was drunk. What could that have evolved into… if I wasn't drunk?

I mentally slap myself as I walk in my room. I quickly shower then change into a white skirt and a green top before rushing down to the dining room to meet with my tributes.

I'm obviously late, because Penelope gives me a death stare, "Where_ were_ you?" She demands.

I smirk, "Is that really any of your business?" I sit down next to Trixie and tickle her nose; she laughs and continues to talk to Suzi.

"Well, yes, actually. You are required to be with your tributes on time!" She looks like she's on the verge of tears; what a drama queen.

"Oh calm down, Penelope."

"Don't tell me to calm down!" She shrieks; now everyone, including all other victors, tributes, and escorts, are turned to look at us. I feel heat burning my cheeks.

I stand up and push away from the table, what am I doing? Then I realize I haven't taken my pill yesterday or this morning. Oh no. "I can do whatever the fuck I want to!" I scream right in her face, knocking her glass of juice all over her, "Oops!" I say, sarcastically.

"Gemma!" She screams, "My outfit! It's r-ruined!"

Then my hysterical laughter begins, and my tributes are terrified of me. I kind of missed this feeling.

I fall down on the floor, gripping my stomach from laughing so hard at Penelope screaming at me. I open my eyes after a while, only to see Haymitch and Finnick above me, grab both of my arms and start to drag me away. All the way they drag me I scream curse words at Penelope.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Haymitch demands.

I giggle, "Oh, not you too, Haystack! I forgot to take my pill yesterday, and now-" I make a little 'crazy' motion with my finger, "I'm loopy!"

"Shit!" Finnick mutters under his breath while Haymitch calls an avox over. He tries to get me to look him in the eyes, but I can feel their glazing over and I'm about to leave. Finally. "Gemma? Stay with me, don't leave me Gem! You have to take your medicine, Gemma!"

But it's too late, I'm already gone. I slide down the wall, and wait for Ky to come to me. Normally I just hear his voice, but today I actually _see _him. He looks normal, not like he was when he was in the games. A grin appears on my face, "Ky!" I all but scream. I jump up and run over to him; I poke him in the face and he's actually_ there._ I can feel him. "Ky, is that really you?"

I hear Haymitch's voice screaming in the distance, even though I know he's standing next to me, "What the hell is she doing? She talking to nothing!"

Then Finnick cuts in, "She doesn't have control, Haymitch! She's made this little world for herself, where she talks to the dead or something!"

Finn's got his arms around my shoulders, whispering things into my ears, but I'm too focused on Ky to hear anything.

"So you're with Finnick now? What happened to Carter?" Ky asks me.

"I wasn't happy with Carter," I tell him simply, "I'm in love with Finnick now. I'm sorry I haven't been able to come talk to you lately… I miss you so much. It's just these stupid capitol people make me take pills now…"

"Its okay, Gem. I miss you too, but you need to take your medicine from now on, okay? You need to stay there with Finn. I'm really glad you're happy now."

I sigh in defeat, "Okay Ky… If you want me to take them, I suppose I will…"

"Good girl; now you need to go back to them now, okay?"

"No, Ky! Please! Don't go!" I'm begging him, but he waves then disappears. I'm brought back to reality. "Finn?"

"Oh thank god! Don't leave me, Gemma, please." I look him in the eyes and they have tears in them. I lean up and kiss each of his eyelids.

"I won't, don't worry."

He smiles, and then Haymitch ruins the moment by shoving a pill in his hand and mumbling something to him. He just nods. "Babe, you need to take this now, okay? Ky said he wanted you to take them, right?"

I nod and take the pill, putting it in my mouth. As soon as I swallow it I can feel the difference, and my emotions are cleared. "I saw him Finn… He was right there. I touched him."

"Gemma it wasn't real… it was just your mind playing tricks on you, love."

I start to cry, because I know he's telling the truth but I just want it to be a lie so badly. "I k-know… I just wish you were l-lying." I manage to say.

He cradles me to his chest and whispers little beautiful things in my ears. I eventually stop crying just so I can listen to him. He's talking about how he will teach me to swim when I move to four, and we will always be on the beach, and how eventually the world will be a better place and we can have a million little babies running around with Trixie.

I smile at the thought, and look up at him. "Will it really, Finn? Will we ever be able to live in a world without the hunger games?" I whisper like a small child.

"I promise we will, one day."

….

It's close to dinner time right now, and it's only going to be the escorts and victors for dinner today, because of the opening ceremonies. I haven't said anything to Penelope since my melt down, and I feel really bad. I couldn't help it, I swear. Something took over me and made me want to say those things.

Finnick is making me apologize to her; sometimes he treats me more like his daughter than his girlfriend, even if I am older than him; he's older than me mentally, by far. He's grown up way beyond his years at times.

I slowly approach the table, and once again I'm late. I see Finnick watching me from the other side of the room and I give him a nervous glance.

When I pull out my seat, Mitchell and Esmeralda look up at me; Penelope looks the other way. "Are you sane again?" Mitchell asks me, obviously worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine… I took my pill a few hours ago…"

"Good. That was kind of scary earlier, Gem." Esmeralda says.

"Yeah, I know… you know what I get like… I'm really sorry, to all three of you." Penelope won't look at me, still. I huff. "Where's Trixie?"

"She is eating over with district 2, Enobaria's watching her."

I nod, and shift my gaze to their table; Trixie laughing at something Enobaria said or did, and Enobaria pretends to pout. It's kind of crazy how a girl with teeth carved into fangs can be so motherly.

We eat the rest of the meal in silence, and as soon as it's over I get up and walk over to district fours table. I pull Finnick out from the table and sit on his lap, too lazy to go and get my own chair. He wraps his arm around my waist to keep me there, "Hey Mags." I say with a huge grin.

"Hey there... Feeling better, honey?" She's such a sweet lady.

I give her a shy smile and rest my head on Finnick's shoulder, "A lot better, thank you." I turn to Finnick, "Are you gonna watch the openings with me?"

"Sure." He says with a smile.

We just kind of sit there for a while, until it's time to go. I hop off Finnick and grab his hand, interlocking it with mine. He smiles and we walk along.

We're sat down in our seats for the audience, when an avox walks up to us. I look at him questioning, and he hands a note to Finnick. Finnick reads it quickly, turns ghostly white and stands up to follow the avox. "Wait! Wait, Finnick! Don't leave me, please!" I don't want to be here alone, I'm afraid of that stage… there are just so many bad memories here.

He leans down a shakily kisses me on the forehead, "It's okay, baby, stay with Mags. She'll help you, okay? I'll be back soon."

I grab his arm though, and the avox tries to usher him to come, "Where are you going?" I whisper to him, letting a few tears slip down my cheeks. I'm scared for him.

He wipes them with his thumb and leans into my ear, "Snow just wants to talk, I'll see you after the ceremonies, okay? Come to my room. I love you."

"O-okay." I say, trying my hardest not to break down right then and there. Who knows what snow will do to him? "I love you too." He flashes me a quick smile and follows the avox. I move over one seat to sit next to Mags, "Mags?" I whisper like a scared child.

She turns around, "Yes?"

"I… I'm kind of scared." I look down at my feet, I feel like a wimp.

"Sh, it's okay, child. Come here." She pulls me into a hug and rubs my back. We pull apart and the ceremonies begin; she doesn't let go of my shaking hand the whole time.

It's finally over, and they were really boring. I race out of my seat and sprint to Finnick rooms, where I start banging on the door.

He opens it and I look him over, there's no damage done this time. I walk in and shut the door, "What did he want?"

He smiles, "Nothing, absolutely nothing."

"Oh come on, he had to of said something." I snort.

"Well… he wanted me to give you this letter." He hands me a folded slip of paper. I open it, and all it says is _'Tomorrow morning during training you have your first meeting with one of your anxious old friends'._ I'm going to assume that by 'old friends' he means the vice president? Wonderful. Just great.

"I read it." Finnick says to me and I look at the wall to my right and swallow, once again almost crying. "You're going to be okay, Gem… Snow… Snow said that you won't have to have many… men… see you."

I look up at him, rather shocked. "Why?" I whisper.

"He said he knew about our relationship… and he uh…No it doesn't matter, Gem."

"Please Finn."

"No, Gemma." I give up and sigh, and he leans down and kisses me. I wonder if this was what it was like last night when I was drunk. I decide to test my little theory. My hands slide down to the rim of my shirt, and I slightly start to pull it up. His hand flies down right away, and he raises an eyebrow, "Are you drunk again?"

I laugh, "No! Do I have to be drunk to act on my love for you?" I pretend to be disappointed, and cross my arms and march to the bed where I plop down. He follows me, and starts kissing me again, lying me down.

"Definitely not. Just making sure."


	25. Chapter 24: News travels fast

_Here's the chapter! Hope you all like it! I will hopefully post another chapter later tonight :)_

**Pink MockingJay**_ - Yes, Annie's games are the year after Johanna's in my mind. I'm not quite sure if that's the way it's supposed to be in the books or not, but that's what I think it should be! xD_

**booksandmusic97**_ - How can you possibly hate Ever :o I love Ever! xD Sorry if she's annoying!_

_Anyways, review everyone! :) _

_I do not own the hunger games._

* * *

><p>I wake up with Finn's arms wrapped around me, hugging my body to his. I can feel him tracing all the scars on my chest with his finger. "Good morning," I say, opening my eyes.<p>

"Good morning, beautiful." He kisses my neck. I flip my body around so our chests are pressed together, and I just look at his amazing face.

He's smiling and looking at me the same way I am looking at him, but I have a far from amazing face. "I love you," I whisper, leaning forward and curling myself into the crook of his neck.

"I love you too… I really wish I could stop this from happening." I think for a minute about what he's talking about, then I remember my 'appointment' this morning with the vice president.

"It's just sex, Finnick… it doesn't mean anything." I say into his skin.

He soothes my hair, "I know… But I don't want you to have to go through with that though. I'm going to talk to Snow again, I have to do something more."

"Don't you dare, Finn. You're just going to get yourself hurt. I'm a big girl, I can handle myself. You know what it's like, you're going through it. I'm not having you do anything more for me."

He sighs, "Yeah, but-"

He gets cut off by a knock on the door. He has just enough time to cover up both of our bodies with the thin blanket when the door flies open, and in walks a surprisingly sober Haymitch Abernathy. He obviously doesn't notice the two of us naked in bed together, because he walks in, "Rise and shine, pretty boy! We have a meeting today at- oh. Um. Hi, Gemma?"

I turn to face him, being extra careful not to move the blanket, "Hey Haystack. What kind of meeting do you guys have today?" I ask the both of them.

Haymitch smirks, "Odair! Did you two…?"

Finnick laughs, "Thanks for interrupting, Haymitch. Appreciate it."

Haymitch pretends to be shocked and then makes a face of disgust, "Ew… just ew-" He shakes his head, "Just wait until I tell everyone that I walked in on you two doing-"

"Haymitch! Don't you even think about it!" I'm about to sit up, and the blanket drops a bit, but Finnick catches it – thank god, and pushes me back down. "Hey!" I say to Finnick.

"You're naked, love. Are you seriously going to attack Haymitch with no clothes on? That would be something to see." He smirks.

I roll my eyes, "Oh shut up, both of you! Haymitch you better not tell anyone about this!"

He laughs at me, "Okay, sweetheart, whatever you say." Then he turns around and walks out, slamming the door behind him. I turn back to my spot next to Finnick.

"What meeting?" I ask him.

"Nothing you should concern yourself with, gorgeous. Now come on, we have to go to breakfast."

Ugh. Of course he won't tell me. "Fine then."

He just sighs and slides out of bed, walking to the dresser to get clothes. After he's done he flips around to me watching him, smirks and raises an eyebrow.

I roll my eyes and get out of bed so I can change. As soon as I'm done, Finnick grabs my hand and walks down to the dining room with me.

As soon as we enter, the room goes completely silent and all eyes are on us, including the avox's. I bury my face into Finnick's chest to hide my blush, and I can tell he's smirking. He loves all of this attention.

How could Haymitch of told everyone already anyways? It's been like five minutes, for god's sakes.

We make our way to my table; he sits me down and kisses my cheek before giving a seductive grin at everyone else. He winks at me before he walks away, and once again I blush. Then the questions begin.

Esmeralda speaks first, "Gemma! Is it true? Did you and Finnick?"

I roll my eyes and call an avox over, "Get me my pull and a cup of hot chocolate, will you?" He returns a minute later and I slip the pill down my throat; I turn back to Esmeralda.

"About your question, yes me and Finnick did. Not that it's anyone business but our own." I glare over at Haymitch, and he's smirking at me. I growl, "Haymitch told you didn't he?"

She comes to his defence, "He only told me and Chaff! But then some other people heard, and if you don't already know this, word gets around here pretty face."

I sigh, "Yeah yeah." I turn to Suzi and Drake, "I'm going to assume you're both going to be careers, correct?" They nod, "Well, meet up with them during training. Show them what you can do. Don't hold back."

We make small talk about training and their skills for the rest of breakfast, and then I have to go get ready for the vice president… ew.

I run up to my room and shower, shoving on the first clothes I see in my dresser. I'm running late, so by the time I get down to the car awaiting me, the driver is pacing back and forth. "I'm here; god, don't have a heart attack." I say as he ushers me into the vehicle.

I'm brought back to the dreaded mansion, and I wish I didn't take my medication this morning. I don't want to do this again.

He guides me up to the room, and the door is already open. I take a tiny step in, and he's in front of me in an instant, grabbing my arm. "Oh, hello again," He snarls at me. I gulp and pray for it to be over already.

…

_Right foot. Left foot. Ow. Push the elevator button. Ow. Left foot. Ow. Right foot. Stop. Hear the ding. Left foot. Ow. Right foot. _

I'm telling my brain to do these simple things as I walk to my room. It's hurting me to walk; my left foot feels like it's crushed, with fire flying up my leg with every step. I'm sure it's at least twisted, or broken. My right wrist is also hurting me. Along with the bruises along my body, I think I look wonderful today.

I open the door to my room, and Finnick is waiting for me, sprawled out along my bed. I stop in the doorway, and his face turns ghostly white when he noticed I was limping. "Hi?" I say to him, questioning him.

"Oh, Gemma…"

I give him a sad smile, and try to limp to the shower. He's at my side in a second. "Finnick, I'm okay. I just need to shower."

"No, I'm going to help you. You can barely walk, Gem." I try to push him off, but he just holds me tighter. I just sigh.

We make our way to the bathroom, and I strip off, not caring if he's there or not. He looks me over, taking in the bruises. "I think I can handle it in the shower on my own, Finn. I'm okay, really." Then I step in the shower.

When I come out, my clothes are waiting for me, but Finnick is gone. I look in my room, and he's not there either. _Where did he go?_

…

It's time for dinner before I have the courage to leave the hospital. They put my leg in a cast, and wrapped my wrist up; I'm not looking forward to everyone having to see me like this.

I make my way down to the dining room, and Finnick_ still_ isn't there. Before walking to my table I go to see Mags, "Hey, Mags? Have you seen Finnick anywhere?"

She turns around and gasps when she sees me, "Gemma, what happened to you?"

"Nothing, I'm fine. I just really want to see Finnick. Do you know where he's too?" She shakes her head sadly and returns to her face. I guess I'll have to ask Haymitch.

I look around the room, and when I come across Haymitch's table he isn't there, either. I notice a few other victors missing too – Beetee, Wiress, Chaff, Seeder, Finnick and Haymitch. Where is everyone?

I finally go to my table, and sit down. Suzi gasps at me, "What happened to you?"

"I'm not in the mood today, Suz. I've had a hard day." I look into Esmeralda's sad eyes, and they are swimming with tears. I see her swallow, but she doesn't say anything. "Es, did you see Finnick anywhere?"

"No, I believe he's gone with some of the other victors." Great, that helped me a lot.

"He didn't ask me to go?" She just shrugs; they aren't telling me something. _Again. _"You know something, Es. Tell me."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Gemma. Now stop; our tributes are here." She glares at me, tears long gone. I huff and don't say anything else the whole meal.

I march up to my room after dinner the best I can with the huge cast on my leg. I plop down on the bed and curl up into a ball, going over the day's events in my head. I don't want to close my eyes, to many bad things get replayed, over and over.

I'm half asleep when I hear a knock on the door. Before my instincts kick in and I jump up, I look on the clock; it's 9:47 PM. It's kind of early for any clubbers, but who would be knocking on my door this hour.

I open the door and wipe the sleep out of my eyes, only to find a pacing Mags. "Mags? What's wrong?"

"Come with me, Gemma. It's Finnick."

* * *

><p><strong><em>Uh oh! :o What happened to Finny? :(<em>**


	26. Chapter 25: Way to break him

_Hey guys! Sorry if this chapter is disturbing/suckish! Nothing dramatic happened in Gemma's life lately, so I figured I'd throw something in there._

_ I'll try to get up another chapter later tonight, which will start Johanna's games! _

_But I have family coming in for the weekend tomorrow, so I more than likely won't get to update till sunday; sorry :(_

_Anyways, leave me your comments about the chapter in a review! :)_

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p>"They wouldn't tell me anything; they just told me to come get you." Mags explains as we're walking down the hall.<p>

"Who Mags, who!" I'm almost hyperventilating; I'm so worried about him. I swear if anyone hurts him… I don't even want to think about what I'll do.

"Snow." She breathes. I'm practically running down the hall, so I force myself to slow down for poor Mags.

I run a hand through my hair, "Oh dear god…"

"It's okay, Gemma. I'm sure he's fine. They won't hurt him; nobody will want to buy a battered Finnick, remember?" She's right. But they will have to punish him in some way, the question is… how?

I don't say anything else to whole way, my throat feels like it's being squeezed shut. We are rushed out of the training center and into a car. I sit in the back seat with Mags, and she holds my hand. I'm shaking and breathing heavy trying to calm myself down.

We finally make it to President Snow's mansion and I take off full speed in the front doors, leaving Mags behind. I run up the stairs and down a few hall ways until I reach the door of his office. I kick the door open.

Now I'm breathing heavy from anger, not from being worried. Mags is right, they won't hurt him. "Where the hell is he, you bastard." I shout at President Snow.

"Well, hello there Ms Stone. I'm not quite sure I'm a huge fan of the language you are using towards me right now." Then he puts on this sly little smile, and I feel like walking over to him and ripping his face off.

I pace back and forth, "Just tell me where he is, god dammit!" And as if on cue Finnick walks into the room being held by two peace keepers. He looks fine. "Oh thank god!" I run straight into his arms, and he just holds me.

"I'm so sorry Gemma," he whispers into my ear so low I can barely hear it. What is he sorry for?

"I was worried, I'm so happy you're safe." I say, running my hand down his cheek.

He's crying, tears over flowing his eyes; I've never seen him cry before. I ask him what's wrong, and he just keeps saying he's so sorry; over and over.

"Oh, what a happy reunion between the two hottest objects of the capitol. Finnick here tells me you're not too happy with your job, Ms Stone?" I try to pull away from Finnick to look at him, but he pushes me behind him.

"Please don't hurt her, please. I'll do whatever you want me to do, just please don't hurt her." Finnick whimpers to Snow.

This just makes Snow laugh, "You do realize that she has a job here in the Capitol that she must for fill just like yourself, Mr Odair? You cannot do this for her any longer."

What the hell are they talking about? I push my way in front of Finnick and look him in the eyes, "Finnick Odair what is he talking about?"

He ignores me and glares at Snow, I tug on his shirt. After he finally looks at me, all I can see is pain in his eyes, "I didn't want you to find out." He tells me.

"Oh, she doesn't know?" President Snow cuts in.

Now I turn to face him, "Know what?"

He laughs his scary laugh and chills run through me, "Mr Odair has been taking most of your _clients _for you this trip; so I called him in here tonight to let him know that he cannot do it for any longer, and he got very angry."

I look up to Finnick, "Finn, what did I say to you? I told you not to do anything! I can handle myself!"

The door to his office swings open, and in walks the vice President. Finnick holds me to him, not willing to let go.

Then suddenly everything turns blurry, I hear Snow say something that sounds like, "And now we must prove it to him." Finnick is torn away from my arms in an instant, and I'm pushed up against the wall, with someone's lips touching mine.

I hear Finnick screaming and crying in the distance, and I feel myself drifting away; the medication must be worn off by now.

But I don't hear or see anyone this time. though, I'm just focusing on Finnick's sobs; watching him trying to fight the four peacekeepers that have him pinned against the opposite wall off so he can save me.

…

Eventually it's all over, and my and Finnick are kicked out of Snow's office. We sit outside the door for a long time; Finnick cradling me in his arms while rocking back and forth like I'm a little child. I listen to his loud choking sobs that don't even sound human. I open my eyes and look up at him as I lift my hand to his cheek. "It's okay, Finnick." I'm kind of used to that kind of abuse by now; but forcing Finnick (along with 5 other people in the room) to watch… that's just flat out cruel.

"Oh god Gemma, I'm so sorry…" So this is how President Snow plans on making him weak; by forcing him to watch people hurt me in more ways than one. I feel bad for him.

"It's not your fault; you were trying to save me." I smile at him. I need to be strong for him; I need him to know it's not his fault.

"It is my fault! That could have never happened if I didn't freak out at him!" He's so mad at himself.

"Sh, Finn, it's okay. You know it's not your fault. Let's go back to the training center, come on." I stand up and pull him up. He wraps his arms around my shoulders , and I lean into him; that's how we walk back to the car. Mags must have already gone back.

"That was the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life…" Finnick whispers, soothing my hair.

"You can't let them break you Finn… they've already broken me; you can't let them get to you, okay? You got to know that I will be fine… the only way they can hurt me more than they have is by hurting you or Trix." He leans down and kisses my forehead, and we don't talk anymore.

…

I'm eating breakfast with my tributes again, it's their second day of training; but my mind keeps drifting back to Finnick and last night. I shiver. "Gemma? What's wrong?" Esmeralda asks me.

"Nothing, Es." I say. I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone right now. "Hey, Trixie, have you been having a good time here?"

Trixie smiles brightly, "Yes! Trixie glad to be home wiff her famiwy!" She refers to the capitol as her home now?

I just smile sweetly at her. I'll let her think that the Capitol is a nice place for as long as I can.

Eventually breakfast is over, and Enobaria and Brutus come and take Trixie from me; they said they are taking her to all kinds of different places around here. I just shrug and tell them to have fun.

I find Haymitch at a bar here in the center, and I sit next to him. "Ugh, I need a drink." I slam down on the table, and the bar tender slides me down a bottle of something. I could care less with what it is.

"Hard day, Sweetheart?"

I snort, "Hard day? Not really. Last night was pretty damn bad though." I can feel the effects of the liquid already, it's strong. He looks at me questionably, "Finn didn't tell you?"

"Odair don't come to me about every one of his little girl friend problems, you know."

"If you call watching your girlfriend get raped by the vice president and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it but be forced to watch _a little problem_, I'd hate to see what a big one is." His face drops and turns ghostly white. Aha.

"Oh, Gemma… I'm so sorry; I had no idea…" He trails off. I snort again.

"Of course you never… nobody does. That's the point isn't it? The president can do whatever the fuck he wants to, and no one has the guts to stand up to him."

"Gemma," Haymitch hisses, looking around, "You can't talk like that here."

"I know I know… Sorry, Mr President, if you're listening. I'm still just a little pissed off from last night, y'know." I can almost hear him laughing now. We sigh at the same time; I hit the bar for another drink. "Does this really help you forget, Hay? All this drinking? Would it help me, you think?"

"No, it wouldn't. Don't even think of drinking your life away like me, Gem."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say." I walk over to a nearby bench, lie down, and fall asleep almost instantly. I'm surprised when I'm greeted by a nice dream rather than one of the usual nightmares.

They don't scare me anymore, the nightmares. They just repeat themselves, and I'm used to it by now. I usually wake up screaming, then cry for a minute, and then laugh at how silly I must look. And I've stopped the throwing up too. It's not worth it.

…

I'm awakened by the voice of the beautiful Finnick, "Gemma? Baby? Wake up…"

I smile before I open my eyes, "Hey you."

"We should hang out tonight… like old times."

"Of course! What time?" I'm smiling even brighter; maybe this will be like last year, when none of this was going on.

"Well… I have a uh… few places I have to be soon, so maybe in a few hours?"

My smile drops, "You can tell me where you're going, Finn. You owe me that much."

He looks at his feet, "I have a meeting and then I have to go see some people… you know…"

I swear I feel a piece of me die inside. I know how hard it's going to be for him, after last night. I lean up and kiss him, "Alright… You be safe, okay? And wait a second- what meeting? Is that the same one Haymitch was talking about yesterday morning?"

"Um... Yeah."

"Why can't I come? It's for victors, right?"

"Sorry, gorgeous, but you can't come. You have to be a victor for a while before you can join." He kisses me once more, and then walks away. Yeah right you have to be a victor for a while. Ugh.

I just roam around the halls of the training center for a while, rather bored. Most of my friends are gone to that stupid meeting, and no one interesting is around.

Hours pass, and eventually I find Esmeralda walking to her room. "Hey, Es!" I shout after her.

She opens her door and lets me in, "Hey Gem."

"Can I ask you something?" I need to know about these stupid meetings.

"Sure, go ahead."

"Do you know anything about these meetings some of the victors go to?"

"Um… Nope!" She responds to fast, she's lying.

"Tell me, Es."

"Seriously, Gemma. This is going to sound rude, but it's none of your business. Just stay out of it for once, please? It's for your own good."

I huff and storm out of her room; I'm so sick of people not telling me anything!

I go back to walking the halls until I decide to go to Finnick's room. I go in, using a key he gave me a while ago, and slouch down on the bed to wait.

Time ticks by slowly, but he eventually comes.

…

I'm curled up in bed next to Finnick; he's long asleep, but I'm just lying here, thinking about tonight. We had one of our junk food feasts and we watched some old movie. I was just happy to be having fun with Finnick again, but I can tell he's still really upset. I hate seeing him upset; it hurts me.

I fall asleep after a while, only to be haunted by all the innocent children I killed, Snow, and the vice president.

* * *

><p><em>Anyways, yeah! Sorry if it sucked ;p I had a bit of a writer block trying to figure out how I could swing it that way; I know it's faaar from perfect. I might rewrite it later and post a different version of it; but this is it for now! Thanks Review :)<em>


	27. Chapter 26: Family love

_Yay! Second update of the day :) Hope you all like the chapter; leave me reviews! They make me happy :)_

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p>I'm once again smushed in between Finnick &amp; Haymitch to watch the plat forms rise up on the big screen; it's like déjà vu.<p>

The past few days have been long… me and Finn have barely seen each other, except for the night time when we were both too tired to do anything but sleep. We have both been just constantly seeing disgusting people, luckily most of the people I am forced to see now don't hurt me now.

I lean my head on Finnick shoulder, savoring the moment; as soon as the bloodbath is over we are being whisked away again.

The seconds slowly pass, and the arena pops up on the screen; you can barely see anything. All I can see is white. It's a blizzard. I can faintly see a forest and the cornucopia.

Another hour passes with me and Finnick annoying Haymitch to the point where he gets up and leaves us on the couch alone. After he's gone me and Finnick burst out laughing.

Finnick leans down and kisses me, "God, I love you so much." He whispers into my lips. I smile and kiss him again.

We're interrupted by the screen announcing the tributes departure into the arena. They all slowly rise up, and all of the tributes are completely stunned when they see the arena. Every single one of them cling to themselves, obviously for warmth; these games will definitely go by fast… they'll all freeze to death before long.

The gong sounds, and the first one off her plate is the little Johanna girl. I cannot believe how fast she is. She is at the cornucopia, got an axe, tent and thick blanket before any of the other got a foot off. She takes off and disappears into the forest without a scratch on her.

"Blight! I thought you said she was a bloodbath for sure?" Finnick screams across the room.

"I figured she was, Odair! She didn't say a word the whole week, started tremblin' whenever we mentioned the games!" He shouts back.

I stop Finnick from turning around again, burying myself deeper into his chest then I already am. I slowly watch as the tributes die, each a gruesome death.

_**BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!**_

The boy from 3; got his head cut off.

The girl from 3; stabbed multiple times through the heart by a career.

The boy from 4; Slipped in the snow, landed on a jagged piece of ice – drove right through his heart.

The girl from 6; Got her throat cut by one of the tributes.

The boy from 7; Received a spear through the guy – a slow painful death.

The girl from 8; after having an arm being sliced off, a career ended her life by driving a sword through her abdomen so many times…

The boy from 10; Beaten by a mace, over and over.

The girl from 10; Stabbed in all different areas of her body until she finally passed.

The boy from 12; Suzi killed this one with a grin on her face, laughing at the young boy pleading for his life. She stabbed his throat twice with her dagger.

I close my eyes afterwards, trying to contain my emotions. I take a shaky breathe, and Finnick kisses my forehead.

A split second after the blood bath is pronounced over; two avoxs approach me and Finnick. All of the victor's eyes are on us, watching; listening. One of the avox nods at me and motions to something in his hand.

A syringe.

Like hell I'm taking any drugs for these people. I haven't found my voice yet, so Finnick talks for me.

"What the hell is that?" He asks the avoxs, not like they can reply. One of them holds a note out to him. I pear over his shoulder; it reads:

_My dearest Gemma,  
>I thought you might need a little boost for tonight. It's on me.<br>President Snow _

I gulp. The avox holding the needle comes closer to me, slowly lifting it; I notice he's carefully eying Finnick. I look over at him for a quick second, his fists are clenched and his face is blood red with his eyes closed. He's trying all that he can not to completely attack these two guys.

I reach my hand to touch his fist, "Hey? Finn? It's okay… we've gone over this many times before; you can't do anything. It's not your fault, I'll be fine." As I say this the avox slides the syringe into my arm, I wince.

"As soon as you're done, come to my room okay? You're not going to be able to sleep, so you can be with me at least." He says through gritted teeth. I just nod, turn his face to kiss him and get up to follow the avox.

I can just imagine all the questions I'm going to receive from the other victors tomorrow. Great.

As I'm walking, I suddenly feel very jumpy, hyper and anxious. I feel like I can run a mile. This is not going to end well, I can just feel it.

…

I've never been so tired before. I want to sleep so badly, but I can't. I try so hard to fall asleep when I close my eyes, but they just end up open again.

I feel like a zombie walking down to Finnick room. Once I'm there I barely lift my arm to knock before it swings open. I'm scooped up into his arms before long.

"Gemma, how are you?" He pushes the back of his hand against my forehead.

I just groan, "This sucks ass. I want to sleep."

"You're not going to be able to for a while. Do you want some coffee? It will help you out a lot… make you more awake."

I just nod; anything would feel better than this.

He quickly orders it up, and when he hands it to me I chug it down so fast I'm left choking.

I feel immediate change; but it's not for the better. I feel hyper again, and paranoid. Like there's a million little things watching me in his room. My eyes dart around, and he obviously notices. He sits by me and wraps his arms around me, "How many were there tonight?" He asks me.

"Um.. I don't know; I kinda lost count after I zoned out. 5 or 6 for sure." He sighs. "I don't like this, Finn. I don't want that needle anymore. I'm scared."

"Sh… you'll be okay. It goes away after a while…" He soothes into my ear.

"Hey, Finn? Will you tell me some stories? It helps calm me down." I say, eyes still darting around.

He pulls me up onto his lap, and I put my head on his shoulder, trying to sleep. He whispers the pretty things again, this time he's talking about what he would do if he could end the games. He's talking about a rebellion.

"Finn? What are you talking about?" I have this weird feeling that he isn't making those little plans up.

"Nothing, I'm just telling you what I wish could happen…" He breathes in my ear. For once in my life I don't believe him.

"Could that ever happen?" I'm curious now; I think he knows something that I don't.

"Maybe… in a long time," He sighs. Then he move on to some story his mom told him about people who were half fish that lived in the ocean.

I half block him out though; could it be possible? Could there ever be a rebellion? Could we ever be free from this horrible government, ran by President Snow?

I fall finally asleep to the thought of how I would kill President Snow if I could.

…

I open my eyes, only to find I'm sprawled out on top of Finnick and Haymitch in the victor's lounge. I groan. "Hey, gorgeous. You're awake."

"No, I'm still sleeping," I say, voice oozing with sarcasm.

He pushes the hair out of my face and I look down to Haymitch, "You still mad at me, Haystack?"

"Nah…" He's thinking about something.

"What is it?" I ask him.

"Nothing, nothing." He says; I leave it alone.

I turn to Finnick, "How long have I been out?"

"Um… around, 14? 15 hours?"

My jaw drops, "15 hours! What time is it?"

"Around noon." He turns his attention back to the screen.

"Holy shit. What did I miss?"

"There was another huge blizzard; both the tributes from 5 who were in an alliance froze to death." A mental image of two black and blue bodies huddled together join my thoughts in my head. Ew.

I physically shake my head to clear the image, Haymitch smirks at me. I kick him, right where it hurts. "Ow Gemma! Jesus!" He curses some more and I laugh at him.

"Oops! Sorry about that, Hay. Didn't mean it." He gives me a sarcastic grin before rolling his eyes, and the three of us burst out laughing.

"Does your head hurt at all?" Finnick asks me.

"A little, but I'm okay…" He hands me a pill that was in a little plastic cup on the table.

It's just my regular mental health pill, so I chug it back without question before plopping back down on his lap.

"I suddenly feel tired again; wake me if anything interesting happens, 'kay?"

"Sure, love. Sleep." Finnick says, bending over and kissing me on the lips again.

The last thing I hear before I drift off, is Haymitch saying, "Ewww!"

_Oh, how I love my family._


	28. Chapter 27: Johanna's amazing skills

_Because I won't be able to update very often this weekend, I figured I'd post a third and final chapter tonight... this chapter gives you more of a look at Johanna's amazing ninja skills. xD_

_Anyways, I hope you like the chapter (Sorry about the shortness)! _

_Review review review! :)_

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p>I'm on the edge of my seat, watching the careers surround Johanna. She's up in a tree, hiding from them. Her thick black jacket doesn't help camouflage her at all. This is going to be the end of this little girl.<p>

"Look, she's up there. Get her Drake." Suzi says to Drake. All of a sudden this little tiny girl jumps down from the tree, and she just stands there, eyebrows raised at them.

Drake is startled, or surprised should I say, that this little girl is going up against these five careers. They all burst out laughing at the sight of her.

Johanna rolls her eyes, picks up her ax and slams it straight into Drake's neck. I'm so shocked.

His hands fly to his neck, and he falls to the ground, twitching and making these gurgling sounds. He must be choking on his own blood.

"Who wants to be next?" Johanna hisses.

The careers are all shocked, staring at the dying body on the ground. Johanna smirks and swings her ax at the person closest to her; the girl from two. It goes right through her. The two halves of her body fall to the ground, and both of their canons go off.

_**Bang! Bang!**_

My jaw is dropped, how could this little tiny creature have enough strength in her to cut someone in half? I wouldn't be able to do that if I tried.

The careers finally come to their senses, and the three of them circle her. She spins and twists, dodging all of their weapons and attacking them at the same time.

She looks graceful, almost. At the same time she spins, she cuts Suzi's throat, and the girl from four's abdomen. "What… the… hell?" I gasp.

Suzi slowly dies, but the other girl keeps fighting with her sword. She gets a couple good cuts on Johanna's arms and legs, but Johanna just laughs and stabs her right through.

_**Bang! Bang!**_

Now it's just Johanna and the boy from two. They are facing off, slowly walking in a circle. Johanna cocks her head to the side with a sly smile on her face, and she stops. The boy looks at her, questioning her.

Then she does something so shocking I'm sure she'll die very soon.

She sits down in the snow. She places her ax in her lap, and she smiles up at the last career. He gives her a face of such confusion, she throws her head back in laughter.

I don't know why the career won't charge at her. It would be pretty damn simple to kill her now that she's sitting down. But he don't.

She takes her hands off of her axe, reaches them down into the snow, and ever so slowly brings back a handful. The boy is clearly amused, watching her.

She forms a big snowball, and she flicks it up and down a couple times in her hands to get used to it.

"What is she doing?" I whisper to no one in particular; we are all to zoned into this right now.

Then she brings her arm back, and flicks the snow ball straight into the boys face. His eyes squeeze shut, clearly not ready for it, and he stumbles backward.

Then when he opens his eyes, she's gone.

Just a minute ago she was sat there in the snow, and now I can't see her on any screen. I'm incredibly anxious, "Where is she!" I scream.

The screen flashes to a smirking Johanna sat in a tree directly above the boy. She raises her ax, and she drops it. Straight. Through. His. head.

_**Bang! **_

She smiles proudly, and drops down from the tree. She reaches for her axe, and she has to pry it out of the boy's body; it's so far down his neck.

I think she could very well be the smartest tribute I ever seen. She made everyone believe that she was some innocent, scared little girl that would be dead in the bloodbath, and now she just proved herself to be a blood thirsty murderer by taking out the career pack.

There has never been one person – let alone a little girl – that could take out the whole career pack. Never. Not once in the history of the games.

"BLIGHT!" I screech out, jumping up. "How the hell did she do that?"

He looks startled, "How am I supposed to know?"

I roll my eyes, "Well… you are her mentor!"

"She hid this from everyone, Gemma, even me." He says calmly.

I strut back to my seat by Haymitch and Finnick, and I plop down on Finnick's lap. "Are you as surprised as I am?" I ask him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"I think so. I've never seen that before." He says.

"Me either! Wow." This is crazy, it's like the second or third day in the game, and we're already down to the final eight. The capitol isn't going to like this at all.

On the plus side, I received a letter from President Snow this morning telling me I'm done with my 'clients' until next year.

Unfortunately, Finn's not.

But he was so happy; he can finally relax for a bit now. So that's all that matters- his happiness.

I watch the screen again, Johanna somehow manages to set up a tent in this huge tree, and she goes inside and curls up with the blanket.

Then the screen turns to the other tributes; a few of them are in mini alliances, probably just together for warmth. It shows so many of them huddled together or trying to warm themselves. No other tributes have a tent, a few have blankets.

Johanna is one lucky bitch. That's all I have to say.

Just kidding, she isn't a bitch, obviously. She's just trying to survive like the rest of the tributes… she's just really good at it.

I stand up, "Everyone," I shout, so ever victor is looking at me. "I am announcing right now, that I am going for Johanna Mason from now on. That girl is going to win. Just watch." Then I plop down in my seat again. A lot of the victors laugh, and Haymitch gives me the weirdest look I've ever seen, which I respond to by giving him a cheeky grin.

He rolls his eyes, and then we both laugh. Finnick is still watching the screen. None of the other tributes know about Johanna yet. Well aren't they in for a big surprise.

…

I get bored after a while, because none of the tributes are doing anything. I turn to Finnick, "Finnick, let's play truth or dare."

"Excuse me?"

"You know, that old game that people used to play? I used to play it when I was a child. Someone asks you to pick truth or dare, and then whatever you pick you got to answer or do."

He smiles mysteriously, "Okay, let's play. Haymitch you in?" Haymitch just groans. "I'll take that as a yes; okay, Gemma, truth or dare?"

I think… knowing Finnick he could ask me anything for truth, maybe even something I don't want the capitol to know… so I have to pick dare. "Dare." I say, biting my lip.

"Okay then… I dare you to kiss Haymitch."

I give him a face of pure disgust, and Haymitch perks up with a face as equally disgusted. "Finnick! That's disgusting! That's like… kissing my dad! Ew!"

He laughs, "Fine fine fine. Have it your way, gorgeous. I dare you to kiss me then."

I snort, "That's a pathetic dare… I would have done that anyways." So I reach up and start kissing him. And he doesn't break away like usual, so I gently slide up onto his lap.

He wraps his arms around me, still not breaking the kiss, and I put both of my hands on his cheeks. Someone kicks me in the leg and I pull away, "Enough! You two are grossing out all the victors!" Haymitch says with a smirk. That's when I notice every single one of the victors are staring at us with raised eyebrows. Great.

Finnick bursts out in laughter, "Well that sucks for all of you." He says, before kissing me again.

I pull away after a few seconds though, still burning red. I think he gets the message. "Finnick, we should-" I move my eyebrows up and down, and change my voice to a seductive whisper, "_go to bed_."

He laughs, and picks me up bridal style. As we walk out, I scream, "Haymitch, I swear if you come to wake Finnick up tomorrow morning I'm going to skin you in your sleep!"

The last thing I hear is the most of the victors roaring laughter before disappearing out the door.


	29. Chapter 28: The two of us, together

_Hey guys! So here's the new chapter! I'll update again either tonight or tomorrow! :) I hope you like it! _

_Please review, whither it just be a smiley face, a sentence, or a paragraph; They make me really happy!_

_I do not own the hunger games, nor do I own this song by Atlantic Starr!_

* * *

><p>"<em>Here we are, the two of us together,<br>Taking this crazy chance to be all alone,  
>We both know that we should not be together,<br>Cause if they find out it could mess up,  
>Both our happy homes<em>

_I hate to think about us not together,_  
><em>As soon as I look at you it will show on my face,<em>  
><em>Then they'll know that we've been loving each other,<em>  
><em>We can't let'em know, girl, no, no,<em>  
><em>We can't leave a trace.<em>

_Secret lovers that's what we are,_  
><em>We should not be together,<em>  
><em>But we can't let go cause we love each other so.<em>

_Sitting at home I do nothing all day_  
><em>But I think about you and hope that you're okay,<em>  
><em>Hoping you call before anyone gets home<em>  
><em>I wait anxiously alone by the phone.<em>

_How could something so wrong be so right,_  
><em>I wish we didn't have to put our love out of sight,<em>  
><em>Living two lives just ain't easy at all,<em>  
><em>But we gotta hang on in there or fall<em>

_Secret lovers that's what we are,_  
><em>Trying so hard to hide the way we feel,<em>  
><em>Cause we both belong to someone else,<em>  
><em>But we can't let go cause what we feel is oh so real...<em>  
><em>So real,<em>  
><em>So real...<em>

_You and me,_  
><em>Are We friend,<em>  
><em>Is this cool,<em>  
><em>Or do we care ?<em>  
><em>Can they tell what's in our mind ?<em>  
><em>Or maybe we'll be secret lovers all of the time ?<em>

_In the middle of making love we notice the time,_  
><em>We both get nervous 'cause it's way after nine,<em>  
><em>Even though we hate it we know it's time that we go,<em>  
><em>We gotta be careful so that no one will know.<em>

_Secret lovers that's what we are,_  
><em>Trying so hard to hide the way we feel,<em>  
><em>Cause we both belong to someone else,<em>  
><em>But we can't let go cause what we feel is oh so real...<em>  
><em>So real,<em>  
><em>So real..."<em>

I softly sing to Finn. We're in bed, his arms wrapped around me. I can feel him tracing the scars on my bare chest.

"That was absolutely beautiful…" He says, kissing my neck. I flip around to look at him. I give him a weak smile.

"We're going to be late, Mr. Odair."

He groans, "Ugh. I don't want to do anything then just lie here with you."

I pat his cheek, "It's okay, and we have tonight. We have to go watch the games." I give him a quick kiss before sliding out of the bed. I face him as I put my close on, "Do you have many people to see today?"

He looks me up and down, and I blush. He sighs, "A few… I also have a meeting."

I stop changing; wearing only my bra and half pulled up jeans. I stare at him, "What's the meeting for Finn." I demand; I'm tired of him not telling me things.

He jumps out of the bed, and pulls me into a hug. "I can't tell you… please understand, Gemma."

Tears form in my eyes and I pull away from him. "Why not, Finn! It isn't fair! I'm a victor, I should be able to know!"

He grabs my waist with pure force and pulls me to him. I can feel his breath on my ear. He hisses, "Gemma, the less you know the better. It's for your safety, my love. Please… Please listen to me about this… You can't know." Then he pulls back from me and kisses the tears going down my face.

I clench my jaw and finish getting dressed; he sighs and walks to the bathroom, where I hear the shower going a few moments later.

I leave the room and make my way down to the victors lounge, where I'm greeted by a very drunk Haymitch. "Heyyyy…. Gemmma. How'd you sleep?" He slurs.

I decide to play along. I walk over and sit next to him, "Well… I didn't do much sleeping, if you know what I mean." Then I wink at him.

He smirks and mumbles something before passing out on the couch. I shake my head and turn my attention to the games.

Most of the tributes are asleep, so they turn the screen to the final 8 interviews.

These games are so different. Usually the final 8 is composed of most, or all, of the careers. This year it is the district 6 boy, district 7 girl, district 8 boy, district 9 boy, district 9 girl, district 11 boy, district 11 girl, and the district 12 girl.

I am crying throughout the whole thing; Finn eventually comes down and sits next to me, holding my hand.

Johanna Mason's family are so sweet. I feel like I already know them. She has an older sister, and a younger brother. Her younger brother is so cute, I just want to jump through the screen and squeeze his cheeks. They explain how they've never really had enough money, and how they just want their 'Jo-Jo' home.

Her brother explains how he misses climbing trees with her, and her father passes along the message from her lumberjack friends that she works with that they all miss her, and they find work boring without her.

Her sister is really quiet; she keeps fidgeting with something in her hands. She breaks down a couple times, having to leave the stage for a few minutes. It's obviously extremely hard for her.

Her mother doesn't talk a lot, but she says a few things. About how capable Johanna is with an ax, and how she chose to do the right thing by acting the way she did. She explains how she's never trained for the games before, and she learned everything from working in the forest most of her life.

Once their interview is over It moves onto the other tributes, and they're nothing special. One of the tributes only got their twin brother being interviewed… they live alone, after their parents and other 2 siblings died in a car accident a few years ago. My heart goes out to them, too.

Eventually they are all done, and the screen goes back to the games. I just sit there and cry for a hour, with Finnick rubbing my back. I don't want these children to die… it really isn't fair.

…

I left today. I haven't left for what felt like the longest time. But I did today; for a long time too. I left for almost two hours, and I talked to all of my deceased friends.

My mother even came to talk to me, and she was smiling brightly. She said she's a very happy person now, and the place she is in is wonderful. The only thing that could make it better is if Me, Trixie, and my father were with her; but she insisted on that not being for a very long time.

I talk to Annabelle too. She wouldn't stop teasing me about being with Finnick. She claims she started the whole thing, because she was the one that ran up to Finnick during out games and said that I liked him. We laughed and talked, like two normal teenage girls with no cares in the world. It was really fun.

I spoke to Marigold and Juniper too, they found each other and they spend a lot of time together. Marigold is sad that I haven't spoken to Zayna much, but she understands why I haven't. Juniper couldn't stop crying because of all I've been through, which made me cry. And of course, having to watch both of us cry made Marigold cry. So during that visit we all just kind of sat around and cried.

Then there's Ky… I spent the most time with him. We don't ever talk about what's happened to me here in the capitol or the games. We did once, and it was just too much for him to bear, that he couldn't do anything; so we don't talk about it anymore. We only talk about the good things. He tells me about his life now, and what he does all the time. He still trains, but only for fun. He tells me a lot how he can have any kind of weapon he can imagine to train with. Anything he wants, he can just wish for it and it will come to him.

The only problem about me leaving is that I feel so bad for Finnick. He had to leave me because he had to go do his job, and he was on the verge of tears. He doesn't understand that I like to leave, sometimes. Nobody understands; besides from my friends that I talk to, though.

After I came back, Haymitch rushed over to me and helped me back to my room. I received so many weird looks from the victors; nobody has seen me leave beside Haymitch and Finnick, and maybe Esmeralda (and Carter of course).

So here I am now, sitting on my bed, staring at an empty wall. As soon as I got up here, Haymitch was shoving a pill into my mouth so I couldn't leave. I hate him.

Well I don't obviously hate him, of course. I just hate him for making me take that pill. I want to go talk to my friends again.

I lie back on my bed, completely sprawling out. I lightly close my eyes, thinking about what it would be like to live in that wonderful world. It wouldn't be that hard to get there, of course. Just a quick noose around my neck, a slight pull, and I'd be in Ky's arms.

I'd have to leave a note for Finnick and Trixie though, of where to find me and how to get to me.

I stand up from the bed and leave my room in search of a bit of rope and some paper.


	30. Chapter 29: Dear Finnick

_Sorry about the shortness of the chapter, it was supposed to be out last night but my stupid computer wouldn't let me onto the document uploader! Oh well, it's here now :) Another chapter will be up tonight!_

_Hope you like it, please review!_

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Finnick,<em>

_You're probably going to be the one to find me, after you read this letter… And you're not going to understand why I did what I did. But I want you to know that I love you and Trixie more than anything in the world, so I want you two to join me in the better place I am now in._

_All my friends on the other side told me how wonderful and beautiful it is there. I'm sorry I haven't said anything about it before, but I've been thinking about leaving for a while. Besides from you, Trixie, and some of the other victors, there's nothing left for me in this world… _

_I don't want to spend my entire life having to sell myself and watch children die each year. I can't live like that; that's why I need to go to this special place, and that's why I want you and Trixie to come and join me, whether it is now or later is up to you._

_I'm never going to be happy unless we are all together, and obviously they cannot come back from the afterlife, so I must go to them. Please take care of Trixie for me, and make sure you tell her everyday that I love her and that she is beautiful. I am so sorry I must leave you all._

_The victors will all understand, I'm sure. Tell Haystack that his obnoxiousness always made me smile, and that I'll miss him. Please tell all of the other victors that I love and will miss them all, too._

_Then there is Esmeralda… tell her I'm sorry for failing her, and giving in. She was more of a mother to me than anyone else, and I appreciated it so much. She's a wonderful person, Finn… she can help you get through this. Talk to her._

_When Trixie gets older, please do not tell her about my suicide until she can understand… Make up some story, please, Finn. I do not want her to think that this was her fault, nor is it yours. It is the capitols fault. Make sure she knows that I loved her more than anything in the world, and look out for her. She will need someone in her life, now that both me and Carter are gone._

_There is one thing I need you to do for me, Finn. It's a last wish, I suppose. _

_Make them pay for doing this to our family. _

_Make them pay for killing all of these innocent children each year. _

_Make them pay for having to have my little girl grow up without a mother._

_Make them pay for driving me to do this. Please. _

_I think you understand what I am talking about, as we've talked about it before. That is my final wish, Finn, and you need to for fill it for me, because I am not strong enough to continue to live my life._

_As Ky said to be before his death, I don't want you to dwell on my death… Please pass that along to all the other victors, my beautiful daughter, and a few people at home._

_**I love you.** _

_Gemma._

My tears fall on the sheet of paper as I shakily bend down and kiss the 'I love you'. It leaves a mark of my lips. I fold the paper into thirds and slide it into an envelope that has 'Finnick Odair' written on it.

I've already made my noose, so all I have to do is go deliver the letter before it's time for me to go.

I'm going to give the letter to Haymitch, and by the time Finn gets back from his 'appointment' to get it, I will be long gone.

I compose myself and wash my face with cold water so it looks like I wasn't crying, then I slide out the door.

I find Haymitch sat on one of the couches, and I approach him. "Hey, Haystack. An avox came to my room and gave me this letter, but it's for Finn. He's... working, so can you give it to him when he comes back?"

He grumbles, "Why can't you give it to him?"

"Because I'm going to go take a nap in my room, and he will probably hang out here when he's back. It looked important by the way the avox was acting, so make sure he gets it as soon as he's back."

He groans an okay, and I rush off to the door. As soon as I'm about to step out the door, Finnick randomly appears. "Hey you," He says before kissing me. I feel so bad.

I give him a tiny smile, "Hi Finn. I'm really tired, so I'm going up to my room to have a nap, okay? Haymitch is looking for you. He has some letter for you or something. I think it's important."

His face falls, "Okay, then. I'll see you later, love." And he runs in the direction of Haymitch.

Shit. I don't have much time. I race full speed up to my room, slamming the door behind me. He has read it by now, he's on his way up here surely.

I grab the noose and go into the bathroom. Me, being stupid, forgot to lock my room door, so I lock the bathroom door instead.

I'll have to use the shower head. I walk to the bath tub and reach up it. I tie it securely to the shower head when I hear my room door burst open. "Gemma!" It's Finn, Haymitch, and Esmeralda. At least those are the voices I pick out.

I wrap the noose around my neck as soon they start pounding on the door. Finnick is sobbing, "Gemma, please open the door! Don't do this!"

They are all screaming, and I can hear more footsteps enter my room. There's only the thin bathroom door between us.

I take one step off of the ledge I am stepping off, and I hear Haymitch yell something about breaking down the door.

He's counting down to the break in, so I decide to make my own little count down.

3… 2…1… I step both feet off of the ledge.

I feel the rope fasten around my neck, my body dangling for a moment, and then the world goes black for the final time.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Hours later

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

I refuse to do anything. I won't eat, I won't sleep, I won't talk. I just lie there, tied to the bed by my wrists.

Finnick never leaves; he curls up next to me, holding me in his arms while he cries. He just cries and cries, never saying anything. I can't look at him, so I just look at the wall.

After I stepped off, I passed out from lack of oxygen. Next thing I know I wake up in the hospital. The doctors and therapists come and talk to me, the victors visit me, but I just can't bring myself to do anything. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to live here.

Finnick, Haymitch, and Esmeralda found me just moments after I stepped off. Haymitch told me Finn didn't even read the letter; after the first line he dropped it and ran. All I did was blink.

I can't even talk to Trixie… she has no idea what's going on; not that I want her too. This has been attempt number two now, so they want me to stay in the hospital for the duration of my stay in the capitol, and then I'll go with Finn to four so he can watch me.

I can guarantee you that unless something changes, I will try again.

Finnick is awake, silently crying and stroking my hair. I let a tiny tear drip down my face, and he notices it immediately. "Gemma?" He asks. I am emotionless, wearing a stone face. "Please say something, Gemma."

I can't stop myself, "I don't want to be here." I manage to croak out. My voice is hoarse and soar and I have deep purple bruises circling my neck.

He lets out a choking sob and pushes a button to call the doctor. The doctor comes in and asks me questions which Finnick answers. I go back to staring at the wall, blocking them both out.

The TV buzzes to life, and it's of the games. It shows another tribute slowly freeze to death. Finnick puts his hand over my eyes so I don't have to watch, and I don't object. I can't move my arms and I can't say anything.

He eventually uncovers them as the hovercraft is driving away. "Sorry, love." He whispers, leaning down to kiss my forehead.

My eyes flutter close then, and I drift off into a drug induced sleep.


	31. Chapter 30: Every minute together

_Hey everyone! So here's the second chapter of the day... I just started a new SYOT (Go check it out and submit your tributes!) so I may start updating slower :( Sorry! Hopefully I will still be able to stick with one update a day, or that's what I'm going to try to do anyways! _

_Anyways, I hope you like the chapter; there's been better ones... but oh well! Let's see if I can get 94+ reviews (right now there's 89) before the next chapter gets posted tomorrow! Come on guys, you can do it... I believe in you :)_

_Thanks so much! I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p>He's whispering the beautiful things to me again; he has been, for the last few hours. He must feel happy with himself because he's gotten me to smile. I just can't not smile; they way he's saying these things makes it sound so great.<p>

I'm still tied onto the bed, because they think I will hurt myself, so I can't really move to him. I try nudging myself closer to his chair, and he catches on.

He smiles his smile, tells me to move over (which I do) and slides into the single bed beside me. I can't turn onto my side because of the restraints, so he manages to get into a comfortable position around me where he's able to sooth my hair and whisper into my ear.

He continues talking, and I laugh. I actually _laugh._

He stops abruptly and pulls away from me to look at my face, "Gemma?"

"Hi Finn…" I say, trying to move my arm to his face only to result in my frustration.

He cups my face with his hands and I smile, "Oh, baby, I though you left for good…"

"I… I tried to, Finn…" I say, not daring to move my gaze from his eyes.

"Please, Gemma… Don't leave me anymore… I can't live without you, I'd go crazy."

A tiny smile forms on my lips, and I reach up to kiss him, "I'm making no promises… but I won't try again anytime soon. Can you get these damn restraints off of me?" I ask him. I suddenly feel like I want to just talk to him all night long.

"Sure, love." He pushes the button and a doctor comes in.

"Hello Ms Stone, how are we feeling today?" Gosh I hate his accent.

I clear my throat, "Fine, I guess." I squawk.

"Wonderful, you're talking!"

"Mhmm. Can you get these off of me?" I notion to my wrists.

He walks over to me and Finn, not leaving my eyes. Before he has a chance to ask the obvious question, Finnick speaks. "She won't hurt herself. I will be with her every second of every day… special orders from Snow. But he said we have to go back to the training center."

My eyes widen in surprise, wow. I gasp at Finnick and he smiles. The doctor doesn't have the same expression, "Oh… Well, okay then." He undoes my wrists and I rub them thankfully. He tells Finnick that as soon as I'm up and dressed he can check me out of the hospital. He also mentions some things about different kinds of pills, but I don't bother to listen.

As soon as he's out of the room, Finnick helps me up. He helps me untie the gown I'm wearing, because my muscles are all stiff and sore from lying down for so long.

He helps me dress too, in my short pajama shorts and one of his baggy t shirts.

I walk over to the bathroom and then to the mirror. It has rubber around the edges of it, so it isn't sharp anymore. I look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are sunken in a bit with dark bags in under them. My skin looks tighter. And there are very bright purple bruises completely covering my neck and chin. I touch them and wince immediately.

I feel someone's arms wrap around me, only to find it's Finnick. "You're beautiful," He tells me.

I just sigh, not willing to argue. He grabs my arm and guilds me to a wheel chair outside of the door. I snort, "Yeah right am I getting in there."

"You're still weak, my love. Get in. It's only until we get there." I roll my eyes but agree.

…

He rolls me into the victors lounge a while later where I'm greeted by tons of hugs and teary eyes. One after another the victors hug me.

"What the hell did you try to kill yourself for? Do you know how miserable we would all be if you did that? Seriously, Gem… You're part of our family now; it would crush us all if something were to happen to you." Haymitch tells me after hugging me, "And I swear, if you ever try something like that again I'll kill you!"

We both giggle at his joke, and I feel a lot better being around my family again. I notion for Finnick to move down to my level, "Where's Trixie?"

He nods his head and I look up, only to see and anxious Trixie running full speed to me. Wiress is chasing her. "Mama!" She shouts. I laugh and pick her up, "Wha happen?" She asks, rubbing her little chubby hand over my bruises.

"Nothing, baby. Mommy just had a little accident, but I'm all better now." She smiles brightly at my answer and I kiss her forehead. She giggles and quickly falls asleep on my shoulder.

"Glad you're feeling better, Gem. You had us all scared." Wiress says.

"Sorry," I say, frowning.

Finnick hand Trixie back to Wiress, then wheel me over to our usual spot. He lifts me out of the chair and sits me down, "Thanks…"

"No problem, babe."

"So, it looks like we're going to be spending a lot of time together, huh?" I ask, just trying to make conversation.

He smirks, "Didn't we spend every waking second together before?"

I smile, "Well. Yes, but before you weren't being forced to watch me…"

He bends over and kisses my lips, "No one can force me to do anything… I want to spend every minute of every day with you, Gemma."

I quickly lie down on his lap after a few minutes and fall asleep.

…

I get awoken from the tribute-dying alarm. I open my eyes to the screen as Johanna's flinging an axe straight through one of the sleeping tributes hearts. At least he was asleep and didn't feel it…

It was Haymitch's last tribute, the district 12 girl. "Sorry, Hay!" I scream out to him; it doesn't even sound like my voice it's so hoarse.

He just mumbles something in response before taking a chug of liquor. I roll my eyes and shake my head at him before settling back down on Finnick's lap.

…

I wake up again to lips pressed against mine. My eyes flutter open in surprise. Luckily it's only Finnick. "Come on, let's go to bed." He says before picking me up in my sleepy state and laying me in the wheel chair again. I don't object because I feel like a zombie anyways.

We make it to my room and I'm more awake. He takes off his clothes and climbs under the covers, but I say I have to use the bathroom first. "Oh! No, Gemma Don't!"

I flip around, "Don't? Why not?"

He drops his eyes to the floor, "We didn't clean up in there yet… after your incident…"

I run into the bathroom anyways, only to be surprised as to what I fine. The noose is lying on the floor, split in two. There's blood splattered everywhere, and there pieces of beaten up glass all over.

I gasp and Finnick is at my side instantly. I kind of forgot about what I actually tried to do, and it all just hit me, like a tidal wave. I take a few steps backward, "I… Oh god…" I whisper.

Finnick grips my shoulders, "Gemma, it's okay." He drags me out of the room, slamming the door behind us. My jaw is still hanging open, "Listen to me, we'll get it cleaned up. I'm sorry you had to see that."

"W-what happened?" I whisper, still staring at the bathroom door.

"Well, once we got to you we managed to get the noose off of you… luckily you were still breathing. The paramedics came and got you, but they wouldn't let me come… So I kind of got a little bit crazy and smashed a couple mirrors with my fist." He waves his bandaged knuckles up in the air.

How did I not notice that before? He had been with me every second! "Finn… I'm so sorry…"

"Gemma, its fine. I'm really sorry you had to see that. I talked to Snow about it after and we sorted everything out. We're going to be fine, I promise." Sorted what out with Snow?

I don't say anything, so he leads me over to the bed. He gently takes off each piece of my clothing and throws it on the floor until I'm completely naked. Then I climb In bed and curl up into his arms.

I'm half asleep when I finally find my voice, "Sort out what, Finn?"

He rubs my bruises, "Nothing you should worry about, baby… go to sleep." So I listen to him, and sleep.


	32. Chapter 31: I don't go after him

_Yay! New Chapter! Thanks to those who reviewed :) _

_Go check out my SYOT and send in your tributes! :):)_

_I hope you like the chapter you lovely people! Leave me your thoughts in a review, they make my day! :D_

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p>She won. Johanna Won.<p>

"I told you all didn't I!" I scream out to the rest of the victor's hanging out in the lounge. They all start laughing, and I just giggle.

Johanna slowly took out 3 more tributes during the past few days, and the cold and hunger took the rest…

I plop back down on Finnick lap, "I'm so glad you're doing better now… I was really worried you would try again."

Uh oh… I can't tell him I plan on trying again soon, it would break his heart. I look down at my hands, "Um… yeah." Is all I say.

The TV announces that the final interview will be tonight, so we all leave tomorrow. Normally I would be completely depressed right about now, but instead of going back to four with just Trixie, Finnick is coming along. We will go and pack up mine and Trixie's things, then head to four to live with Finn.

"I'm really glad I'm moving to four with you, Finn… I can't live without you." I whisper, leaning my head on his shoulder. He wraps his arms around mine.

"I would go crazy without you. No one can keep us apart any more," He pauses then leans into my ear. I can barely hear him because he's so quiet, but I make out, "not even Snow."

I just smile and sink into him some more. Haymitch finds his way over to us, "Well, well, well… look at the two lovers. You know, I'm not quite sure Snow would approve of PDA." He raises his eyebrows.

In response I tilt Finnick's head down to meet mine and kiss him. Haymitch makes a motion that he's throwing up as we break apart. "Oh knock it off, Haystack. Give me some of that."

He snorts, "What? You want some of my liquor, sweetheart?"

I point at his bottle impatient, "Gemma I don't think you should drink anything right now… not with all the medication you are taking." Finnick cuts in.

I pout and insist on taking the bottle, Haymitch snorts and hands it to me. I watch Finnick sigh and shake his head as I take a huge gulp of the drink.

It tastes nasty, and it burns going down. My throat and neck still isn't healed, and the purple bruises are still as bright as they were the day I got out of the hospital. But I have a lot of my energy back with the drugs help, and I've stopped having such dark thoughts.

I stick my tongue out after pulling the bottle from my lips, making a face of disgust. I cough and Finn pats my back. "Haymitch… that's …. Disgusting!" I say between my coughs. He laughs and stumbles away from us. "Ew!" I say to Finnick.

He just shakes his head once more, and laughs with me.

…

Johanna's interview was great; she didn't seem all that upset, just eager to go home to her family. She wouldn't watch her games over again though; she just hid her face from the cameras, obviously ashamed. I just wanted to run up to her and hug her, to tell her it would be alright… but sadly, it only gets worse here on out for her.

Finnick helps me onto the district 1 train. I just said goodbye to all of my friends, and managed to calm a screaming 3 year old. It helps that Finnick, Esmeralda, Mitchell and Penelope are here though. At least we aren't alone.

The train lurches to life, and me and Trixie wave good bye to the victors from our window. I can see her bottom lip quivering, and can tell she's about to cry again, so I tell her Finnick is going to tell her a story. She brightens up instantly, and I pick her up and we set off to find Finn.

He sat down, talking to Mitchell. I poke him in the arm, "Finnick, Trixie wants you to tell her a story." He looks at us and grins before standing up and taking Trixie from me.

I follow along behind him as he carries her into another room while tickling her. I sit down in a rocking pink leather chair across from the two of them as Finnick begins talking. He is telling her a story about some big water monster that was believed to live in one of the lakes in a place called Scotland before the dark days.

He goes on for a while, looking up at me with gentle eyes every now and then, until eventually Trixie falls asleep. He carries her to her room and places her in her bed before bending down and kissing her forehead. I watch from the door way the whole time.

He stands back up straight, and walks toward me, grinning.

We both close the door quietly, "You know, Odair, you make a great father." I say.

He wraps his arms around my waist and I giggle, "I wish I could marry you…" He breathes into my ear.

I pull back and look at him, "Why can't you?" His eyes flicker around the hallway for a second.

"Come with me," is all he says before dragging me through a maze of hallways. We eventually come to a storage room closet filled with cleaning supplies.

"Why the hell did you bring me in here?" I ask.

I smirks, "I couldn't talk to you out there, there was cameras."

"Okay, well… why can't we get married?" I ask, tears swimming around in my eyes threatening to fall.

"I… I already asked Snow if we could… and he said never because no one would ever buy us then…" His gaze falls to the floor.

I pick up his chin and force him to look me in the eyes, "One day we will, Finn… I promise you." He just gives me a shy smile and kisses me.

We suddenly find ourselves on the floor, gently taking off each other's clothing, but never breaking the kiss.

…

"Trixie! Come on! We need to pack up your things, not play with it all!" I laugh while trying to control Trixie.

We've been back to one for a few days, and we have most of our things packed up. All we have left is Trixie's room. The only problem with that is, is that everything she sees she starts to play with, not pack.

"But izo cool, Mama!"

"It's so." I correct her.

She pouts and puts the doll she was playing with in one of the many boxes scattered around her room.

We finally finish, a few hours later, and I walk through my house once more. So many bad memories here… I'm glad we're leaving. The big home looks so silent and empty now, I hate it.

"Ready?" I hear Finnicks voice behind me. I catch myself staring at the spot on the kitchen table where I found my mother's head all those years ago, and shudder. "Hey, come on… it's okay. Let's go say goodbye to your friends, okay?"

I nod, silent, and walk out of my home. Trixie is already there, crying in Cashmere's arms. I walk towards them. "It's okay, Trixie… We'll see Cash soon." I say, patting Trixie's back and removing her from Cashmere's arms so I can hug her.

"Oh my gosh, I'm going to miss you so much, girl! You better be going to the capitol next year, or I'll come back here and kill you myself!" We both laugh at my joke, because I would never be able to hurt Cashmere. One, we are so close we are like sisters, and two, she could beat me in a fight any day… she's kind of vicious.

"We'll see… you better come back and visit me!" Gloss walks over to us, and we get out of the hug.

"All the time." I say before turning to hug Gloss. "You take care of yourself, kay' Glossy?" I call him Glossy to annoy him. Usually he gets pissed off and storms away, but today he just laughs.

"Of course, Ma." And he calls me Ma, because he said everyone calls me Gem or Gemma and I needed a new nickname. I smile and remove myself from him and he turns in the direction of Finnick and shouts, "You better be good to her, Finnick, or I'll come to four and steal her away from you!"

Me and Finnick both burst out laughing this time, and Gloss joins in. "See ya, Glossy." I say one last time before walking to Mitchell.

My lip quivers when I see him, and he just smiles. I latch onto him, "Oh my god I'm going to miss you Mitch!" I cry into him. We may not talk a lot while we're at the capitol, but I know he's always there for me and I can run to him for anything. He's nice to have around.

"Oh, calm down, Gem. It's okay. You'll come back to visit all the time, and we'll see you in the capitol next year!" Gosh, he's always so positive.

I pull back from him, "You're right. I'll phone you all the time too."

He laughs, "I'll be waiting by the phone!"

I laugh, and move onto my mother. Well not my real mother, but my adoptive mother, Esmeralda. We both just stand an arms length away from each other, not talking, not moving. Then all at once we start sobbing and jump into each others arms.

"I… I'm, going… to miss you… Gemma!" Esmeralda wails.

I laugh at the sight of us, and so does she. "I'll call you everyday, it'll be okay!" I say to her, pulling away to look in her eyes, which only makes me cry more.

Our little sob fest gets interrupted by someone calling my name, "Gemma!"

I flip around, whipping my red eyes. Who is that?

Carter.

I narrow my eyes at him, "What do you want?" I spit at him. Finnick is at my side in an instant.

"Gemma, be nice. He's just here to say goodbye." He says.

"I can handle myself, Finn." I say while brushing past him and stomping to Carter. "Well?" I say when I get there.

"I wanted to come say good bye…" He trails off.

"Okay… well… bye Carter." I say, readying myself to turn, but then I'm stopped.

And suddenly there's lips crashed against mine.

Then it's gone, just like that. I stumble backwards and watch the scene happening in front of me. Finnick is on top of Carter, smashing his fists in his face. "You… Son… of… a… bitch!" Finnick is shouting.

"Finnick! Stop!" I do the only thing I can do to get him to stop, and kick him in the side with my foot. He rolls off of him, "Finnick! You hurt him!" I shriek at him.

"He was kissing you, Gemma!" Finnick says.

"That doesn't mean you should beat him to death! Oh my god!"

I bend down to Carter, and touch my finger to the blood streaming from his nose. "I'm fine, Gem, Really." He stands up and starts to walk away but he flips around. "Call me sometime… Bye, Gemma…"

Then he walks away for the last time, and I don't go after him.


	33. Chapter 32: A safe place

_Hey Guys! I had a snow day today, so I got time to write some extra chapters (Yayyy!) So Here is chapter 1/3 for today!_

_Please Review? (:_

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p>I completely love district 4. It's so beautiful.<p>

Me and Trixie live in Finn's house on the beach, and it is the most amazing view I've ever seen. We've been here a week now, and Trixie has spent all of her time with the other victors… I've barely seen her.

"Morning, baby." Finnick says, sliding out of bed. I reach for his arm.

"Wait, where are you going?"

He laughs, "Relax, hon. I'm going to teach you how to swim today."

I grin and release him, getting out of bed myself. I walk into Trixie's room. "Mama, Maweena and Twixee go shopping!" She says, jumping out of bed when she sees me.

"What? You and Marina are going shopping today?" Marina is a victor. She's around 30.

"Yeah yeah yeah!" She says, hopping up and down.

"Well, okay then." I pick her up and bring her to the bathroom where I clean her up. I brush her hair and put it in two braids going down her back, then dress her in a light blue dress. "Are you hungry?" I ask her.

"A wittle." She says, cocking her head to the side.

"Come on, let's go get breakfast." I take her from the counter she was sitting on and put her back down on the floor, then she takes off running to the kitchen.

I slowly follow along, and I hear her laughing and screaming out for Finnick.

I walk into the room and laugh at them, he's got her slung over his shoulder, and spinning around. "Finnick! I dizzy!" She yells between laughs.

"Oh Finnick, put the poor girl down. We need some food." I tell him. Finnick has changed a lot since we've been in four. He's himself. He's so much happier, which makes me happier.

"Fine Fine Fine," He says, placing Trixie in a chair at the table. I walk over to the counter and grab a piece of bread made here in district 4. It's Trixie's favorite, because it's shaped like a fish and it's kind of green. It's really salty.

"Here you go," I say, handing the bread to Trixie. At the same time Marina comes barging in the door without knocking.

"Hey you two," She says, waving at Me and Finnick, "We have a lot of shopping to do today, Trix."

Trixie shoves the rest of the bread in her mouth and runs towards the front door. We three laugh.

We make small talk with Marina for a few minutes, until Trixie grows impatient and demands for Marina to go. We say goodbye and then they're gone.

"Go put on your bathing suit, love. We're going swimming." Finnick tells me. I smile and head up the stairs.

I quickly change into a pink bikini that I bought a few days ago, and a light green sundress. Topping my outfit off, I put a huge floppy hat on my head.

I walk back down the stairs, and Finnick's waiting for me. He smiles, "Ready?" I nod and loop my arm through his before we walk out onto the back patio and down the path to the beach.

I'm not wearing any shoes, and the sand feels amazing underneath my feet. I just love the feel of it, the texture. It's so fine.

I look down at my feet as I walk, watching my feet sink into the earth with each step. I smile at myself, completely forgetting Finn is there, "What?" He asks me.

I look up and into those deep green eyes, kind of getting lost in them. "Nothing. I just love the sand."

He nudges me with his elbow, "I'll race you to the water?" He asks before taking off.

"No fair! You got a head start!" I scream while chasing after him.

He stops and waits for me at the waters edge. Once I'm a few feet away from him I slow to a walk. He goes on and walks on in, once he's out far enough he dives in.

I stand right next to the big ocean, my toes only millimetres from touching the water, when I realize I'm afraid. I stumble backwards and fall into the sand, curling up into a ball, clutching my knees. I can't do it.

Finnick comes out of the water, dripping wet, "Gemma? What's wrong?"

He walks over to me, and I wince away from him, "Stop!" I shout out. He stops exactly where he's standing and raises his hands. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block out the memories.

"Gem… what's wrong? Talk to me," He says.

"The… the water. I can't."

"Why not?" His voice is gentle, understanding.

"I just can't…" I whisper, turning my head from him.

I can hear him step closer, and I don't move away. He sits beside me in the sand, wrapping his arms around me. "What's wrong, Gemma?" He whispers in my ear.

"Are you hurt?" I ask him.

"Me? No I'm Fine, you need to tell me what's going on in the head of yours, love."

"There's too many memories… Annabelle… and the shark… and the acid…" I shake my head to try to get the thoughts of my games out of my brain.

"Sh… it's okay, baby. It's not going to hurt you. There are no sharks in there, and it's not acid. I was just in there, and I'm fine… Annabelle would have wanted you to enjoy your life right?" God he's so good at convincing me to do stuff!

I swallow and nod, "You're right. I'll try again." I get up from the sand with his help, and he holds my hand, guiding me to the water.

"You're okay… It's fine…" He keeps whispering to me.

We get to the water's edge, and I squeeze my eyes shut, slowly putting my toes in. It doesn't hurt, it just feels good. I ease my whole foot into the water, and open my eyes again. Finnick is smiling, "See?" He says.

I smile and nod, putting my other foot in. Together we slowly walk out in the water, until I'm up to my waist. I take my sundress and hat off, throwing it back to the shore.

"Are you ready? We're going to go in under." Finnick directs.

"Okay, let's do it." I suddenly feel very confident in myself, and I dunk my head in under. It feels like when we were swimming in the lake, before we knew there was a shark. It feels good.

I come back up, gasping for air and laughing. "See? The ocean isn't bad… it's amazing!" Finnick says before diving back in under. I wait a minute, only to see him pop up a few feet away, "Swim to me." He says.

I get down in the water, so only my head and neck is visible, and I try to make my way to Finnick. I know how to swim enough to stay afloat, but I don't know the different ways you can swim. I finally reach him after a while, and he's grinning so wide.

For the rest of the day we just kind of play around in the water, he teaches me some different kinds of strokes, but it usually ended up with me latching onto him.

He's giving me a piggy back ride back to the shore, and once we're there we collapse. I burst out laughing and roll off of him, onto my back.

It's only then I realize that when I'm in this bikini all of my scars are visible, everything's visible. My hand flies down to the happy face on my stomach and I start to trace it.

Finnick reaches over and stops my hand, "Stop, Gemma. It's okay."

I sigh and curl into my ball again for one quick second, but Finn uncurls me, so I lie across him instead.

We stay there, lying on each other for hours… We don't leave until the sun is gone down, and the light from the moon is guiding our path.


	34. Chapter 33: New Friend

_And here is chapter 2/3! The third is coming up later ! _

_Like I said in the last chapter, please review guys! please?(:_

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p>"Get up Finn! Johanna's coming today!" I scream into Finnick ear. He hits me away using my pillow. "You seriously got to get up! The victory tour is starting in a few hours…" I whisper this part, "…and you know how anxious the capitol people are."<p>

That got him up. He must have forgotten how we will both have to flirt and sleep with some Capitolians today. "Oh my god, Gemma, I totally forgot…"

I swallow, "its fine. At least you're up, right?" He jumps out of bed and he hugs me. It feels strange, considering he's only in his boxers and I'm dressed up in this capitol dress. "I'm already up and ready, and you haven't even showed yet!" I slap his butt, "Get a move on!"

He pulls away from me and gives me a seductive grin. I giggle and lean in to kiss him. "Ewwww! Mama and Fwinnick!" I hear from the door way. Me and Finnick pull away from each other immediately, only to find Trixie and her friend Adalee staring at us, pretending to puke.

Adalee is our new neighbor; she moved to district 4 from the capitol 4 months ago. Because he father is a capitol citizen, she is free from the reaping when she gets older, and she gets to live in the Victors village. Trixie was ecstatic that there'd be another little girl her age living next door.

Finnick smirks and I laugh, "Whatever! Are you ready, Adalee? I know Trixie is," I turn to Finnick, "And you. Have a shower and get dressed. Be fast about it!"

I walk to the doorway and take each of their hands. Adalee doesn't have a mom, so she treats me like one sometimes. I pull them along to the kitchen, where I get them some cookies that I have left over from Mellark's Bakery in district 12; Haymitch sent Finnick some important letter a few weeks ago, and he included some 'For his daughter'. I asked Finn if I could read the letter, and he said no and that it was just something to do with his meetings he goes to, before he went outside and burned it.

"Yay! Cookies!" Adalee squeals. Trixie giggles.

"You two better be on your best behavior tonight… I have a lot of capitol people I have to deal with, So you're going to stick with Addie's dad and Marina, right girls?"

They both nod and continue eating their cookies. Finnick comes trudging down the stairs, with only a towel wrapped around his waist; at least he's dry.

I snort, "Where's your clothes, Finn?"

He looks around, "Where _are_ my clothes?"

"What do you mean?" I ask him.

"Where'd you put 'em?"

"They're in your dresser." I tell him.

"Thanks, love." He says before taking off back up the stairs. I can't help watch the way his perfect body moves when he's walking up the stairs.

We continue munching on our cookies. "Mama?" Trixie asks me.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Can Addie come on vacation wiff us?" I give her a confused look.

"What vacation?"

"The one we take evwee year to see Twixee's family!" She says excitedly. She must mean the capitol.

"Oh, I'm sorry girls… I don't think we are going to be allowed to bring anyone else. Maybe sometime the four of us can go visit one, though."

She doesn't look disappointed or sad, she just says "Ok!" Then continues on talking to Adalee about flowers. Luckily Finnick comes down then, looking wonderful.

I get up from the table and walk over to him with a raised eyebrow, "Looking good, Mr Odair." I wrap my arms around his waist and he kisses my hair.

"You're not too bad yourself, love." He smirks.

I roll my eyes, and break apart from him. I walk back over to the girls, who are now finished the cookies, and take Adalee's hand; Finnick takes Trixie's.

We leave the house and walk to the town square, where we leave Trixie and Adalee with one of Finnick's non-victor friends so we can take our spot.

Johanna walks out onto the stage, she looks like she's been crying, and that's when I catch a tiny glimpse of President Snow walking away backstage. _What is he doing here? He never goes to the districts?_

"Um…." Johanna starts, eyes flashing backstage. She sees that Snow is gone, and her nervous smile turns to a smirk, "So… Yeah…. I'm supposed to make a speech or something, right? About how great your tributes are? Well yeah, sure, they were cool, I guess. They fell for my trap, so that worked great for me. I'm sorry that they both had to die-"

Someone cuts her off in the audience, "You killed her! You killed my little girl!"

You can see rage filling up in Johanna's eyes as clear as day, and she snorts. "So what if I did?" Gasps go through the audience and she rolls her eyes. "I don't have anything else to say to you people." Then she stops off the stage.

I nudge Finnick with my elbow and he looks just as confused as I do. President Snow clearly said something or done something to her, and my guess would be is that she is going to turn out just like me and Finnick.

Finnick grabs my hand and drags me over to his non victor Friend. We relieve him of Trixie, and bring Adalee to her father before going to meet Johanna. Finnick won't leave my side.

"Shh," I tell Trixie, who is in my arms waiting in line with me. Johanna steps in front of me, with raised eyebrows. "Hi, Johanna, I'm Gemma… from one."

She looks me up and down, taking in all of my scars. She holds her hand out to me, and I take it in mine. "Johanna."

"I Twixee!" Trixie blurts out.

Johanna smirks, "And this is Trixie, my daughter. She's 3 and a half." I tell her.

Johanna taps her nose and Trixie giggles, "Hello Trixie, I'm Jo."

"Jo!" Trixie shouts gleefully.

"Shh, Trixie. You have to be quiet, remember?" I warm her.

"Sorry, Mama." She say, curling into my shoulder.

Johanna's smirking at us the whole time, and I apologize. "It's cool." Is all she says before walking away between two peacekeepers.

I go and get Finnick, who is talking to Mags, and we go bring Trixie to meet Adalee and her dad.

Once we drop Trixie off, we head off to the feast. I sit between Mags and Finnick, and Finnick sits next to Johanna.

Finnick actually talks to Johanna more than me during the meal, so I spend a lot of time talking to Mags and Marina.

It's time to 'mingle' as the Capitol people call it. I get up from the table, tell Finnick goodbye and go to talk to Trixie. I find her bugging a girl that's sitting at a table. She looks around 16 or 17. I walk over to them and grab Trixie up in my arms, "I'm so sorry! Was she bothering you?" I ask the girl.

She smiles sweetly; she has flowing brown hair and the same sea green eyes as Finnick, "No! She wasn't at all. She's adorable."

She seems like a nice girl, "What's your name?" I ask her, holding out my free hand.

"I'm Annie, Annie Cresta."

I nod, "Gemma. What part of town are you from?"

"I like just down the coast with my family… what about you?" I like Annie, she's really kind.

"I live with Finnick in the victor's village."

She brightens at my words, "Oh! You're the victor of the 67th games, right?"

I nod, "Yep! And now they are insisting I go 'mingle with some important capitol people!'" I say, using a mocking voice of Penelope (not that she knows who Penelope is!).

"Okay, Gemma. We should talk again, you seem nice!"

I smile at her, "Thank you. You too. We should hang out some time."

She grins, "Definitely! Bye Gemma!"

I walk away from her, only to crash into Finnick. "Who were you talking to?" He asks me, taking Trixie.

"Annie Cresta. We're friends now, I think."

He smiles and puts his free arm around my shoulders, "Awesome, babe."

I slip out from in under his arm, and walk away, "Sorry! Duty Calls!" I can hear him smirking at me.

…

"God I'm so tired!" I say, crashing onto the bed, Finnick right beside me.

"I know what you mean, love." He agrees.

The rest of the night went by… okay, and we just got home. We each had to see someone though, and I hate it. Trixie fell asleep after a while, so we had an excuse to come home early. The party is still going on right now. "What did Johanna have to say? She talked to you a lot." I ask him, quite curious.

"Nothing… she seems like a cool girl." Is all he says. I don't bother continue the conversation, because I'm too tired. So I just drag myself in under the covers and place my head on Finnick chest.

I listen to his steady heart beat and his quiet breathes, and it lulls me to sleep.

* * *

><p><em>Ou! So Gemma and Annie are friends! :O What do you have to think about that?<em>


	35. Chapter 34: Not her

_Well, here's my last chapter for the day! I'm trying to decide if after Annie's games if I should start the third and last book, or if I should continue on with this one for a bit more? What do you think?_

_I hope you like the chapter, and to anyone who's wondering (*cough*cough* 2B-ing . us . 4once) No, Annie is not going to steal Finnick from Gemma, don't worry!_

_Review, guys! They make me really happy (: _

_I do not own the hunger games!_

* * *

><p>"I have good news!" Finnick exclaims. What kind of good news can there possibly be, if tomorrow is the reaping? I groan, so he continues. "Snow sent me a letter and said you don't have to go back to one today! You can stay for the reaping g here, but you still have to mentor the tributes from one." Wow, that actually is good news.<p>

"Good, I don't want to leave." I say, dipping an oreo in honey and shoving it in my mouth.

"You're having a healthy breakfast. What are your plans today?" Finnick asks me.

"I think Annie's gonna come over here and we're gonna hang out for a bit…" Me and Annie have hung out a lot the past six months. Trixie loves her, too.

"I see… Do you want me to leave?" He asks.

"No! You can stay, if you want…" I mean, it's not like Annie don't like him.

"Alright… I may take Trixie to the beach," He says, pouring coffee for himself. I mumble an okay, and finish eating my Oreos. I may be a year older, but Finnick acts way older; I still act like a child, not a twenty year old.

The phone rings, and I jump up to get it with my mouth still full of oreos, "Hello?" I manage to say.

Someone laughs on the other end, it's Annie. "Gemma?"

"Mh hmm?" I mumble, taking another bite. "Finnick, get me some liquor would you?" I ask Finnick.

"Gemma, are you seriously having a drink with your breakfast?" Annie asks me.

"So what if I am?" I say, smirking.

I can picture her rolling her eyes at me, "Whatever. Do you want to go to the beach today?"

"Sure. Come over whenever." I tell her.

"Alright! I'm on my way!" I hang up the phone as Finnick hands me my glass.

"Thanks," I say before knocking it back.

He just smiles and shakes his head at me, and I walk to my room to change into some shorts and a tank top before Annie gets here.

I'm just at the bottom of the stairs when the door bell rings. I open it and greet Annie. "Finnick!" I scream out as Annie laughs at me. "I need you to braid my hair!"

"Okay! Come here!" He screams back. Me and Annie walk into the kitchen, "Hey, Annie." Finnick greets her with a seductive grin, and she blushes and looks at the ground.

"Oh stop, Finn!" I say, turning around so he can braid my hair. Annie starts playing with Trixie.

A half hour later, after Finnick finished making his sexual jokes and comments toward Annie to make her uncomfortable, Me and Annie head to the beach.

When we're there we spread out a blanket and lie down on it, tanning.

We get bored of tanning after a few minutes though, so I come up with an idea. "Let go collect shells, we can make bracelets!" I tell her.

So we get up and start searching the sand for the shells. Half way through we both burst out laughing, "How old are we? 5?" Annie asks, still laughing.

"Oh whatever! It's fun!" I say.

An hour later we have all of our shells, and we go back to the blanket. Annie quickly weaves two strings out of some grass; it's amazing how fast she can do it. We string the shells on, and once they're done they actually look really pretty.

I tie hers onto her wrist for her, and she tells mine. She looks up at the sky, "I better get going… the reaping is tomorrow… my family likes to spend tonight together, you know?"

"I understand… I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Definitely." Then we part our ways and I walk up the path to our house.

…

"No!" I groan as Finnick drags me up out of bed. Today's the reaping, and I have this bad feeling.

"You have to get up. It's Trixie's birthday, Gemma!" Like I didn't know… My baby's birthday is on the worst day of the year…

"I know! But it's also the reaping! Something bad is going to happen, I know it!"

"Nothing bad is going to happen, it's going to be like every other year!" I finally get out of bed and stomp off into the shower. "Don't be long! We only have 20 minutes!" He shouts after me.

_Oh Shit. He's right._

I hurry and finish my shower, getting dress in a matter of seconds. I leave my hair wet, and put it up in a high pony tail. I walk down the stairs just in time to see Finnick getting Trixie's shoes on.

"Happy Birthday!" I squeal when I see Trixie. She laughs at me, and Finnick tells me to hurry. I don't even bother to put shoes on, I just go barefoot, tagging along behind them.

Me and Finn take Trixie to meet Adalee and her dad in the audience before taking our spot on the stage. I don't recognise the escort for four, but she looks pretty ridiculous dressed in all green.

"Welcome to the reaping everyone! I'm so delighted to be here in this beautiful district on this beautiful day!" She starts. She goes on and on, talking about the past games, and the past victors. She finally moves onto the tributes.

"Boys first… Michael Bly!" A little shaking twelve year old starts to walk to the stage before a guy races up before him. "Are you Michael Bly?"

"No. I'm Tyne Rihans and I volunteer as tribute!" I still can't imagine why anyone would want to go to the games. I really don't.

"Wonderful!" The escort shrills. "Now the female tribute! Annasophia Cresta!"

No. No. No. Not Annie.

"No!" I shriek, standing up from my chair. Annie starts walking up to the stage, and she silently shakes her head at me. The whole crowd is watching me, "Not Annie! Please! No!" I beg.

Finnick comes and wraps his arms around my shoulders, trying to drag me back to my seat. I manage to get away as Annie steps onto the stage and I run to her, "No Annie! You can't go!" I start saying to her.

"Gemma, it's okay, I'll be fine." She says to me, but I can hear it in her voice she's doing all she can not to start crying.

"No!" I yell again, and this time the peacekeepers surround me, pushing Annie away. "Don't touch her!" I scream at them.

One of them slaps me across the face, and I hit the stage, clutching my cheek. I hear the crowd gasp, and Finnick starts trying to beat his way in through the peace keepers to get to me. "Mother Fucker that hurts!" I yell as one peacekeeper yanks me up by my arm, and shoves me back to my seat.

Finnick cradles my face in his hands when we're sat down, and I can see him gritting his teeth. I know there is going to be a bruise covering my face now, and it hurts really bad.

"Well… Okay then… Your tributes, Tyne Rihans and Annasophia Cresta!"

Peacekeepers shuffle Annie and Tyne off of the stage, and Finnick just cradles me in his arms as everyone clears from the square. "It's going to be fine, we'll bring her home, Gem…" He whispers.

I just sob and sob, because I'm not sure if we will be able to.


	36. Chapter 35: Meetings

_Guys… I decided I'm going to do a quote from the hunger games trilogy on each chapter now, because I love it so much. Thanks to all the reviews, I can't believe I have 100! Thank you so much! I hope you like the chapter, I was kinda stuck onto what to add into it… I need some action, some drama to make it interesting! If anyone has any ideas I'm open to suggestions! Read and Review, lovelies! _

_I do not own the hunger games… this amazing series belongs to Suzanne Collins, not me… unfortunately. _

xXxXx

**"_At a few minutes before four, Peeta turns to me again. "Your favorite colour . . . it's green?"_**

**_"That's right." Then I think of something to add. "And yours is orange."_**

**_"Orange?" He seems unconvinced._**

**_"Not bright orange. But soft. Like the sunset," I say. "At least, that's what you told me once."_**

**_"Oh." He closes his eyes briefly, maybe trying to conjure up that sunset, then nods his head. "Thank you."_**

**_But more words tumble out. "You're a painter. You're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double-knot your shoelaces."_**

**_Then I dive into my tent before I do something stupid like cry."_**

* * *

><p>"Hello there, my Gemma, How have you been?" I sit across from President Snow in his office as he talks. "Not going to try to kill ourselves this year, are we?" Now I could say something really rude about how I'd love to kill him; but I don't. Instead I just mumble a no. "Speak up." He says with an evil grin.<p>

I narrow my eyes, "No. And I'm not _your_ Gemma. I'll never be _your_ Gemma. I'm Finn's Gemma."

He finds this amusing, "Sure. How's district 4?"

"You should know; you were there on Johanna's victory tour." I say through gritted teeth.

He smirks, "That I was. Now I'm guessing you would like to know why?" I nod. "Well, I always visit my new victors. I just had to give her a warning, is all."

"A warning? About what?" Oh how I love prying around in other people business.

"I may be a lot of things, but I am not a liar, correct?" I nod. "So I'm not going to lie to you. She was talking about some rebellion while she was in district 5, so I had to pay her a little visit to tell her she was going to have a special surprise waiting for her at home, much like yours." Oh no. I shudder. He notices, of course. "Having a flashback, Ms Stone?" His grin is wicked.

I stare at the wall, reliving the moment. My eyes are glazing over as I see my mom's head in the box. I start to shake, and suddenly I'm on the floor clutching my already bruised face. "What the hell?" I say when the pain starts shooting through my face.

"Snap out of it. I'm talking to you,." He says with his hand still raised.

I slowly get up and sit back in my chair, not taking my eyes off him while I ignore the fact that he just slapped my already bruised face. "A rebellion, huh?"

He narrows his eyes "Don't even think about getting any ideas; you do realize I can make your life much, much worse, correct?" My eyes widen and I gulp. "Exactly." He says.

"Why'd you want to see me anyways?" I ask him, trying to change the subject.

"I'm not allowed to have a chat with one of my favorite victors?" He says, looking innocent.

I snort, "I'm one of your favorite victors? That's why all the peacekeepers beat me and you sell me to men old enough to be my dad? All the while threatening to kill anyone I love if I don't do what you say? I'm feeling the love, sir." I say sarcastically.

I was being serious, but obviously he didn't know this, because he's laughing his head off. "Oh Gemma, you're such a funny girl. I can see how the men want you." I accidently let a growl rip from my throat, he raises his eyebrows. "What? It's true. But seriously, I just wanted to talk. How is young Carter doing?"

I snort, "Like you don't know that we don't talk any more. I'm not stupid Snow; you're probably watching my every move back home." I can't believe I'm talking to him like this; actually, I can't believe he's putting up with me talking to him like this.

He smiles, "That's true. I know everything there is to know about you. Anyways, you have a few appointments later today, so I was wondering if you'd like something to keep you going?"

Dammit, not the drugs again. We've been here for one night, and he's already putting me on this stuff? Oh my god.

Last night was the opening ceremonies, Annie looked lovely. She was dressed as a mermaid. I can tell she's terrified though. I know I'm supposed to be mentoring my tributes from one, but Es said she can handle it, so I'm helping Annie. Right now the tributes are in their first morning of training.

"Nah, it's okay." I tell him.

"I wasn't really asking you, Ms Stone."

I roll my eyes, "I think I can handle it, thanks."

"We'll see. Get out." And with that, a peacekeeper comes and shoves me out the door. I stumble down the hallway of his mansion and make my way outside and into a car that'll bring me back to the training center.

I get there and set off down the hall in search of something to do. Halfway down, right outside a storage closet I hear a whimper. "Hello?" I say to no one. The whimpering stops suddenly. It's coming from the closet.

I slowly creep the door open a crack, "Who's there?" I whisper.

"Get out." A girls broken voice says.

I look around until I finally see her. Johanna Mason, curled up in a ball in the corner of a room. The girl that killed almost everyone in her games is so vulnerable right now, curled up in that corner.

"Johanna? What happen to you?" I bend down to her.

She turns to face me, blood streaming from wounds in her head, and she screams right in my face, "GET OUT!"

"No. Who did this to you?" I say, letting my motherly role come out. She gives up on the screaming anger and settles back down in her corner, silently sobbing. Her body shakes. "He sold you didn't he?" I whisper.

She turns around again, and I look at that tear streaked face. All I see is pain and depression. She slowly nods her head, "He killed them… he killed my parents. He said if I don't do what he wants he'd kill my brother and sister." Her voice breaks half way through.

I sit down next to her and take her in my arms, as Finnick does to me a lot. She seems so young right now, it's breaking my heart. "Did you do it already?" I ask her in a very hushed voice.

She nods, and I squeeze my eyes shut, remembering my first forced time. "I'm so sorry, it gets better, I promise." I whisper over and over to her.

She looks up at me with such wide, sad eyes that I start to cry, "Y-you do it too?"

I give her the saddest smile and nod, "Me and Finnick both. I'm going to talk to Snow, I need to do something for you."

"No!" She's suddenly angry, "You can't!"

"Trust me, Johanna. President Snow doesn't… hate me, I don't think… I can help."

"No, Gemma, please! I can handle it; please don't!" She's begging me, gripping my hand in both of hers. How can I say no?

"Fine… but if you get hurt, then I'm going straight to him." She just nods, and I help her up out of the darkness. We walk out of the door and tip toe down the hall way, as if someones going to pop out and attack us at any moment.

I spoke to soon. Out of no where, Finnick appears, of course. "Hi, love." He says, wrapping his arms around my waste and pulling me to him to kiss my forehead. He mustn't see Johanna there.

"Hey you. You've met Johanna, right?" He looks over at her, taking in her puffy red face and then back at me. I give him warning eyes and shake my head ever so slightly.

"Yes, of course… Hey, Jo?"

"Hi… Finnick. I'm going. Have a good time with your girl." Then she's gone and in the elevator. I swear I can hear her cries as it's going up though.

"What happen to her?" He asks.

"Snow's doing the same thing to her as he's doing to us… he killed her parents. And to top it off, my best friend Coriolanus wants me to take some drugs to get me that extra boost for all of my appointments tonight."

He grits his jaw and I see tears swimming in his eyes. "No, Gem you can't."

"I don't have a choice, Finn." I say, placing my forehead on his chest. "I'm going to convince them to get Annie some sponsors."

He squeezes me tight, "I love you so much… be safe. Come see me after, will you? I'll help you." I nod and get out of our embrace, rushing off to the elevator, leaving him in the hall.

…

I forgot how badly those bastards hurt me. My body has successfully been injury free, besides from my purple face, until today.

I run up and down district fours floor, trying to burn off some steam before I go to Finnick rooms, only to end up falling to the floor in pain. I'm pretty sure a few of my fingers and ribs are broken from being thrown around, and I also have cuts, scratches, and bruises all over my back and chest. My body looks delightful with new injuries over old scars.

I'm finding it very hard to breathe, lying here on the floor. I can feel the rib sticking into me on the inside, and it hurts to take a breath. I want to just shut my eyes and sleep to get away from the pain, but I am wide awake, kind of hyper. I feel like I could run a marathon, but then my bones snap and twist and hurt and I collapse, so I don't even bother to try.

I roll over onto my back with a groan, and just lie there in the middle of the hall way. I was just given three shots of the drugs; it's going to take such a long time for them to wear off. I was forced to see man after man; some young, some old, some fat, some skinny. They just rented a hotel room for me, and they lined up outside my door. How sick and twisted is that?

I don't even want to think about how many I went through tonight. Unforunetly I now understand why Snow wanted me to take the shots; I need them. I would have passed out after 5 or 6 men, and who knows what could have happened to me then. I actually asked the avox for the third shot.

I feel so dirty, so ashamed of myself. I want to get up and go wash off my skin, to be a different person, but I know I can't. For one it's not possible, and two I don't want to move because it hurts to bad.

I close my eyes, and for a second I think I'm asleep. But then I feel an ache in my side so I open them again. And who's looking down at me? Haymitch Abernathy.

"Where the hell did you come from?" I mumble, not moving.

"I'm getting Finnick." Is all he says before storming off to his room. A second later they are both back.

"Hey Finn." I say cheerily.

"Oh dear god Gemma, what happened?"

"A few broken bones, I'm fine." I say while trying to sit up, which only results in me groaning and falling back down.

He gently picks me up, and I smush into him; it hurts but I don't care, just because it's Finnick.

He walks me down to his room and lays me on the bed. "Haymitch! Get me a drink!" I scream.

He smirks, and walks over to the cabinet where Finnick keeps his liquor. I hear them mumbling something back and forth, and then they both come over, carrying the drink. Haymitch hands it to me and I chug it. He laughs then, and Finnick gives me a sad look.

I'm about to demand why they are doing that, but I can't find my voice. Suddenly my eyelids get heavy, and Finnick bends down and kisses each one before sliding them close with his fingers. The last thing I hear before I give into the darkness is Haymitch's voice whispering in my ear…

"_Sleep tight, sweetheart."_


	37. Chapter 36: Pleasant surprise

_Hey guys! I'm gonna have a little rant at the beginning of this chapter ;)_

_So, I just heard on twitter/tumblr that there is a rumor going around about __**JUSTIN BIEBER**__ being casted as __**YOUNG FINNICK**__. If that's true, I don't even want to think about what I'll do. Oh, I know! I'll make my own hunger games and throw all of the producers/directors/casting people in the arena… Just kidding! (: But anyways, I will be so crushed if it's true… Finnick is one of my absolute favorite characters (Along with Johanna + Annie + Haymitch) and if Justin Bieber gets casted as him I will be so sad!_

_Also, on a more cheery note, do anyone else love Josh Hutcherson, James Gaisford (The guy who plays Haymitch in the second quarter quell video by MainStayPro), and Alexander Ludwig as much as I do? I'm kind of really obsessed with them… Why am I randomly bringing this up? Because me and my friends were talking about hot celebrities, and those were the first three people that came to mind (They were talking about the guys in one direction). So I told them… AND THEY DON'T AGREE WITH ME! How can I even hang out with these people if they don't think those three men aren't smoking hot? It's so frustrating not being able to talk about my three future husbands (okay so I probably won't marry any of them… but a girl can dream, right?) with anyone Ugh! _

_Anyways, I had to get that out of my system ;) Hope you all don't mind! I still can't believe I have 100 reviews on this story… its amazing! I hope you all like the chapter and review (Tell me your thoughts on Josh, James & Alex!) :D_

xXxXx

"_**"Prim, let go," I say harshly, because this is upsetting me and I don't want to cry. When they televise the replay of the reapings tonight, everyone will make note of my tears, and I'll be marked as an easy target. A weakling. I will give no one that satisfaction."**_

* * *

><p><em>Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.<em>

I hear it, that bloody beeping. What is that? I try to open my eyes but I can't yet. I'm just stuck in the dark listening to the beeping.

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

"Hey Gorgeous," I hear Finnick's voice, far away. I try to find him, but it's too dark. I can only listen to his quiet voice in the distance. I try to scream for him, but it's no use. He's too far away. "They said you can probably hear me, so I figured I'd talk to you."

Good. Keep talking to me Finnick. I like hearing your voice! I notice that I can breathe a lot easier now, and nothing hurts. "I suspect you're feeling better? Try to wake up; I have some news for you."

What news? What!

"Me and Haymitch are here, we haven't left. If you can hear me Gemma, give me some sign." I try screaming again, but I know he can't hear me. So I try something else. I can feel my arms and legs, hands and toes. So I try to move my hand.

"Gemma! Great, you're awake! Don't worry, it was only sleep syrup. I knew you would never let us bring you to the hospital if you were awake, so we had too."

That's true. I would have put up a big fight if he wanted to bring me here. So that's where 'here' is. The stupid capitol hospital.

"They fixed you all up. You had most of your fingers broken, along with you wrist. A few of your ribs were cracked too; one was even bent in, touching your lungs. Good thing we got you here when we did. They also fixed up the scratches and bruises, you're all bandaged up. As for the other news… I'm going to wait to tell you later."

No! Tell me now Finnick! Why must he wait!

I hear Haymitch chuckle, "Still sleeping, sweetheart? Get up already. I can't wait to see your reaction." I want to punch him; I make a mental note.

I hear Finnick's hand come in contact with Haymitch's arm, or so I think.

"Ignore him, Gem. Just wake up already, would you?" Finnick tells me. So I listen to him, and my eyes suddenly slide open. I take one look at the two faces above me, groan, and then shut them again. "Hey you." Finnick says, smiling; but there's something in his eyes. He looks… _sad_?

I clear my throat, "Hey. What's wrong?" Haymitch smirks at me, and I glare at him.

I bring my hands up to fidget with the thin hospital gown I'm wearing, suddenly feeling very naked.

"Nothing, love, nothing…" he trails off, there's obviously something on his mind.

"Finn, I'm so not stupid. Tell me." I press on, but I know he's not going to tell me any time soon.

"No, I'm not going to tell you yet. You need to eat."

I sigh as he places a tray on my lap. I slowly sit up (with the help of Haymitch). As I reach for the spoon, I realize I'm shaking; I pick it up and then drop it again.

I lean back against the headboard with a shiver, "Tell me Finn." I'm going to keep asking and asking him until he tells me.

"No, eat." He says, shoving the spoon near my face.

I shake my head, "No. Not until you tell me."

"You may not want to eat after I tell you…" He says.

"I will, I promise. Tell me, now."

He gulps and he looks at Haymitch, who is sat in a chair in the corner. Haymitch nods once, and Finnick turns back to me. "Okay… I don't know how you're going to take this, Gem…"

"Holy shit, Finn! Just tell me now before I go crazy!" I'm so annoyed right now, I'm ready to leap across the bed and take his face off of his skin.

"Well… while you were down… the doctor's told me some very unexpected news. I only brought you here to get your injuries fixed… but I found out something else."

"WHAT! IS! IT!" I shriek at him.

He takes a deep breath, and then he looks up and into my eyes. I feel like I could go swimming in those sea green eyes.

"Gemma… You're pregnant."

* * *

><p><em>Ouuu! Little twist ;) I know this chapter was really short, but I'm going to have another chapter out later tonighttomorrow morning that I'm hoping will be rather long! Review :) _


	38. Chapter 37: Problems of an unborn child

_Okay guys, here's the next chapter! I hope it's a bit longer; it's almost six pages on Microsoft word! Did any of you catch the behind the scenes footage of the hunger games they shown on ET tonight? I thought it was pretty fantastic myself. _

_Anyways, I hope you like the chapter… Let me know what you think in the reviews! Sorry if it gets depressing near the end… I still haven't decided what I want to happen to her O.o_

_Read and Review, please! _

_xXxXx_

_(This has to be my favorite scene of the whole series… I just love Finnick, so much! And sorry if he isn't very seductive and stuff in this story… I just imagine when he's alone with Annie… I don't think he would act like that, so!)_

"_**Finnick?" I say, "Maybe some pants?"  
>He looks down at his legs as if noticing his outfit for the first time. Then he whips off his hospital gown leaving him in just his underwear. "Why? Do you find this" - he strikes a ridiculously provocative pose - "distracting?"<br>I laugh. Boggs looks embarrassed and Finnick looks more like the guy I met at the Quarter Quell"**_

* * *

><p>"Wait, what!" I can't be pregnant. No. Not right now.<p>

"You're pregnant!" Finnick repeats for what must be the third time.

"How?" I ask, mouth gaping open.

Haymitch snorts, "I'm pretty sure you know how babies are made, sweetheart."

I roll my eyes, "No duh, Haystack. What I meant was I'm not sick or anything?"

"I know, I know! That's what I was thinking! But they said you were, so…" Finnick says, smiling.

"But…" My voice goes quiet and small, "who's the father?" Is it possible that one of the many capitol men I slept with yesterday (or what I think was yesterday… I don't know how long I've been out) is the father?

"I don't know," Finnick looks at the floor, "They wouldn't tell me without your consent…"

"Well call them in here! I need to know!" I shout.

He puts on his fatherly face, "Not without eating first."

I roll my eyes again and gulp down the soup that was on the tray in front of me so fast. I notice I'm not shaky anymore; my nerves must be normal again. "Okay I'm done! Now let's go!" I try to swing my legs over the side of the bed, but I just end up gasping in pain and clutching the bandages on my chest.

"Gemma! You can't move around so fast!" Finnick scolds me. See, what did I say. He's such a dad.

"Okay, _dad_." I say with a smirk.

"Hardy har har." He says in a weird voice, and the three of us laugh. He settles me back on the bed and crawls in next to me, wrapping me against his chest. Haymitch peeks out the doorway, calls for a doctor, chugs the rest of his liquor and then hides the bottle in a nearby plant.

The doctor walks in, "Good to see you're awake, Ms Stone. How are you feeling?"

"Fine… but sore. It always seems like whenever I come to the capitol I wind up in the hospital." I turn to Finnick, "How's Annie been doing in training, by the way?"

He hushes me, and the doctor speaks. "That's good. You can go back to the training center once we are finished talking. Just take it easy for a while, okay?"

I nod. _That's not going to happen… not with all of my appointments. _"Who's is it?" I whisper, tracing Finnick's big hand that's lying on my chest.

"Hmmm…" The doctor says, flipping through some paper. "The baby is Finnick's, I do believe. Congradulations."

A grin instantly appears on my face. _Me and Finnick are going to have our own child._ I look up at Finn, and he's smiling so big. He leans down and kisses me, but the doctor interrupts us by clearing his throat.

He continues talking for a while, and finally we can go home. Once again I have to be wheeled out in a wheel chair- it feels like last year all over again- but it's okay this time, because I'm pregnant, and not trying to kill myself.

Maybe me and Finn can live happily ever after, after all._ Pfft, yeah, right._

…

"What are we going to name her?" I ask Finnick from my spot on his lap in the victor's lounge.

"What makes you so sure it's a girl?" He questions.

"I don't know… I just have this feeling in me; it's the same feeling I had when I was pregnant with Trixie."

"Well… Okay then. What do you think we should name her?"

I rub my belly, pretending I'm already showing. "Kyanna."

"Why Kyanna?" He asks, baffled. Surely he's never heard that name before.

"Because it's beautiful… It's a mixture of Ky and Annie…" I whisper the last part.

He leans down and kisses my forehead, "Kyanna it is."

…

"I can't believe you're pregnant!" Esmeralda shrills.

"I know!" I reply- then we both make some squealing kind of noise while jumping up and down. "Have you seen Annie? I need to talk to her."

"Well, she should be in her room now, considering she doesn't have to meet with the game makers for a few hours."

I squeeze her hands once more, "Thanks Es." Then I take off to Annies room.

Once I'm up there I knock impatiently. I haven't seen her the last three days, and I feel bad.

"Annie! Open up!" I scream. I hear her shuffling around on the inside before the door swings open.

"Oh, hey Gemma." She says.

"I need to talk to you…" I say.

"Come on in." She closes the door behind me, and then directs me to the bed. I sit down, and she sits beside me.

"I'm pregnant." Might as well come right out and say it.

Her jaw drops, "Oh my gosh! That's wonderful! I'm so happy for you!"

I hug her, "But there's something I wanted to ask you."

"Sure, go ahead," She says.

"Would it be okay to name our child after you?" A smile creeps onto my lips.

She grins bigger than I've ever seen before, "Oh Gemma! I would be honored! What are you going to name her?"

"Kyanna… Anna for Annasophia, and Ky after… well Ky." I say.

Tears form in her eyes, "Lovely! I better be able to meet the little thing."

I gaze into her eyes before hugging her again. "You will be, I promise."

There's a sudden knock on the door that interrupts our little friendship moment we had going on. I give Annie a questioning look, but she just shrugs and walks to the door.

She opens it slowly, and Finnick is on the other side. "Is Gemma here? Esmeralda told me she'd be here." He looks messy and sweaty, like he was just running.

"I'm here Finn, what's up?" I say from my spot on the bed.

"C'mon, Gem. We got to go."

I stand up from the bed and take a step towards them, "Go where exactly?"

He gulps, but tries to hide it, "To see President Snow, silly girl. Now come on."

…

"You just couldn't stay out of the hospital, could you?" President Snow asks me.

"It wasn't my fault; those sick bastards you force me to be with put me in there." I spit out at him.

"Gemma!" Finnick hisses.

"No no, Finnick. It's okay; Me and Gemma have a very_ honest_ relationship. Am I correct?" I nod. He continues, "So if I am being honest, I shall tell you both the reality of this situation. You are not keeping this child."

I gasp and tears form in my eyes. I can feel Finnick's grip tightens around me, as if to stop him from getting up and hurting him right now. I whisper, "Please… President Snow please, don't hurt this child… we'll do whatever you ask just… just don't." I start to cry.

He laughs at my tears, "You stupid girl; what idiot would like a pregnant woman, hm?"

No. He can't do this! "No! President Sn-"

"And, if anyone finds out it's with Mr. Odair's child, no one is going to want to be with him. Then I would lose two of my best workers, and where would that leave me?"

He's such a selfish bastard. He's a living form of the devil, trying to find ways to ruin people's lives. "No! You can't do that! I won't let you touch this baby! I won't!"

He lets me continue on for a few minutes, and he just sits there at his desk, smirking with raised eyebrows. Finnick finally shushes me so he can speak. "Well, let's put it this way, my dear. You have this child, Trixie dies. What about that?"

I'm stunned. My mouth falls open, and I literally have to shut it close. He will _never _touch Trixie as long as I have a heart beating on this earth. Finnick's arms suddenly go limp, and just lie at his sides. I slip out of his lap and onto the floor, afraid that there's something wrong with my heart. It hurts, so badly. It's broken.

I curl my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them, letting the sobs take over my body. They don't sound human- they sound more like some dying animal kind of noise. I don't take my eyes off of Finnick the whole time, and he's scaring me right now.

He hasn't said a word, and his eyes are completely blank. There is no emotion in them; they are just glazed over. His mouth is in a frown, and he's staring at the wall. Every few seconds a shudder takes over his body.

President Snow's laughter fills the stuffy room.

After a while, Finnick snaps out of it and his eyes immediately turn to rage. His fist curl up into balls so tight that his knuckles turn white first, and then the skin actually breaks and he starts bleeding.

I've stopped crying, and I just lie still on the floor, unmoving.

"Gemma, you will not have to see anyone else until it's done in a few days. Finnick, you're still on the same schedule, but you can have tonight off. Now get out of my office, you filthy mutts." President Snow tells us.

Peacekeepers come in and surround me; two takes each of my arms, and they drag me out of the room. I have no energy, I feel like I'm dead. Anyone could do anything to me right now, and I would not be able to do anything. I have the life drained out of me.

Finnick follows after me, and as soon as we're out of the office he pushes the peacekeepers away and huddles me to him. I listen to him crying, but no tears come out of my eyes; I'm all cried out.

After a long time the feeling finally comes back to my legs, and I numbly get up from my spot with Finnick and I walk down the hall; alone.

I can't be with Finnick right now, I can't hear his cries. I need to be alone, to think things through. I can't let this happen; I can't let him kill my baby. But then if he doesn't kill my child, he'll kill Trixie.

I've known about Kyanna for little under twenty four hours, and I love her so much already. How can President Snow possibly ask a mother to pick one of her children to die in order to keep the other one alive? That's so messed up, it's scary.

I'm almost to the elevator, out of Finnick's sight, when my knees collapse again. I lie face down on the ground for a few minutes, and then I slowly drag myself along. It hurts like hell to crawl, because of my stupid ribs, but I can't seem to get myself to get up.

I'm waiting for the elevator when I hear the _Ding!_

Out walks Johanna Mason. I don't say a word to her; just continue crawling past her into the elevator. I hear her sigh, and she follows after me. "What happened?" She asks me.

I just tilt my head to the left a bit, so I can see her in the corner of my eyes. "He's asking me to pick." I whisper.

"Who is? And Pick what?" So during the little time I've known Johanna, I've seen three of her personalities: The sarcastic, smirk filled girl that everyone loves but can get pissed off with easily; The broken, depressed, very sad girl that you just need to cuddle and tell it's going to be okay; and this personality… the motherly responsible role.

You'd think that I'd be the motherly victor, right? Because I am a mom? No. I'm actually more childish than Zayna. She won two years ago at twelve (now she's fourteen), and she's more responsible than me. That doesn't mean I'm not a good mom though; I take care of Trixie with everything I have.

"Snow. My child."

"Huh?" She's so confused.

"President Snow is asking me to pick between Trixie and my unborn child!" I mumble out.

She crouches down beside me, "Oh, Gemma, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I would never ever let him touch Trixie so it's kind of an obvious decision; but I need to try to find some way to get out of it…"

The elevator rings again, and the doors open on floor one; my floor. I mumble a bye, and start to crawl out again. I can feel her pitiful eyes burning into my neck and I crawl and groan of pain, but then the doors close again and I'm left alone.

Finally, after what felt like forever, I'm back in my room. I slide up and plop down onto the bed, clutching my stomach. "It's okay, Kyanna… I'll find some way to get out of this…" I say before drifting off into a nightmare about losing my unborn child.

* * *

><p><em>What do you guys think of the name 'Kyanna'? I actually think it's really cute, but that's just my opinion! I was searching around on google for names that had 'Ky' in it (cause I thought it would be kinda sweet if she named her after Ky, so then her nickname could be Ky!), and I came across Kyanna! And I was like omg perfect! Ky + Annie = Kyanna! But yeah, anyways, sorry if any of you hate it... :(<em>


	39. Chapter 38: The 70th Hunger Games

_Hey guys! Sorry if you find I'm rushing Annie's games a bit... it's just, more exciting things are coming in the future so I just want to get these games over with! Tiny surprise at the end of this chapter, hehe ;)_

_Anyways, thanks for the reviews everyone! They mean so much to me!_

_Leave me more? :)_

_By the way, I was watching some of the videos of the cast on the mall tour, and in this city Alexander, Jen, and Amandla were visiting and answering questions, and I thought it was absolutely amazing how after every word that came out of Alexanders mouth, fans would go psycho! Awesome _

_And I found out that he's called 'Zander' by the rest of the cast. _

_That just makes him more attractive._

_Anyways, Read and Review (: Thank you all! I do not own the hunger games!_

_xXxXx_

**_"We're going to kill you. Just like we did with your pathetic little ally...what was her name? Rue? Well first Rue, then you, and I think we'll let nature take care of Lover Boy. How does that sound?"_**

* * *

><p>"Hide."<p>

"Hide?" I ask Finnick.

"Yes, hide. That's what Annie's going to do. Do you really think a sweet girl like Annie would be able to kill anyone in the games? You've done it, I've done it, and It's made us stronger. But I don't think it would make Annie stronger, it would just break her." Wow, Finn's a good explainer.

I sigh and rub my stomach. I was sick this morning. "Okay, I got it…"

I woke up this morning to find Finnick in bed with me with a tear stained face. Then I jumped up and ran to the bathroom to throw my guts up.

We don't speak of last night. I can't take my hand off of my stomach, I feel like I need to protect the little child inside me. Whenever Finn catches me he gets this very pained look in his eyes, but he doesn't say anything. It's too depressing to talk about. So I'm left trying to create a plan of how I can save both of my children, alone.

Now we're discussing what Annie should do during the games. She's currently with the escort practising her stage presence. Then she will be with us for a few hours, then her prep team. Then it's the interviews, and tomorrow she goes into the arena.

The President wrote me a note this morning, telling me I have 5 more days (counting today) left with my child before she will be torn from me. I don't know how I'm going to handle that day; I just can't do it. I walk around with my hand on my stomach, just thinking and thinking on how I can change this, but I can't think of anything good enough.

"It'll be okay, love…" Finnick says.

"No Finnick! It won't! Did you hear Snow last night? I can't do this!" I break down crying for what feels like the twentieth time today. He takes me in his arms and I cry into his shoulder.

"Sh… we'll figure out something…" He didn't promise me. He always promises me.

"Do you promise?" I whisper between sobs.

He silent for a long time until he finally says it, "I can't."

The reality hits me with those words, and my heart goes through the same searing pain as it did last night. I keep my left hand at my stomach, and I grab at the left side of my chest, where my heart is, with my right.

…

"You better come out of there Annie…" I whisper into Annie's ear during our hug. "Kyanna will need to meet her godmother."

This is the last time I'll see Annie before she goes into the arena tomorrow. Finn already said goodbye. He isn't as close to her as I am, it's different for him. "Oh, Gemma, thank you." I can hear the break in her voice.

I pull away from her and stand up straight, "No crying. You'll mess up your makeup."

She grins at me, and I just have to hug her again. "God I'm going to miss you. I'll see you soon, though."

She wipes at her tears with the tip of her finger, "Yep. I'll see you soon. Bye Gemma." And with that she's gone, and I say a mental prayer that that wasn't the last time I'll see my dear friend Annie Cresta.

…

Nobody was really interested in Annie last night at the interviews. She made it clear she wasn't a career, because she was so quiet and shy about her skills. They especially didn't like that a girl from four only received a three during their private training sessions.

I understand how she got the three though; she can't really do anything. She can't really use any weapons, but she's very agile and she can swim so well it's amazing. It's crazy, really, how good of a swimmer she is. I always said she was secretly a fish; she spends all of her time in the water.

So that is why we told her to hide. If she can make it far enough, she might get some sponsors. And me and Finnick can help her out with that…

Anyways, I'm waiting for us to get a glimpse of the arena. It's kind of a tradition now, that during the beginning of the games I sit in between Finnick and Haymitch on our couch, so that's where I am.

As per usual, my hand is lying on my stomach, and my eyes are darting around the room. I feel like a squad of peacekeepers are going to jump out from the shadows and come beat me till the baby is gone. Of course, they don't.

"So, Haystack, what do you think the arena will look like this year?"

I spoke to soon, because the capitol seal fills the screen. "Well, we're about to find out. Aren't we, sweetheart?"

The arena fills the screen and I'm puzzled. It's a huge river. The cornucopia stands on a platform smack dab in the middle of the river, and it's filled with tons of water proof things. The river is surrounded by the woods, and surprisingly, those woods got barely any mutts in them.

We wait a while, making small talk about the arena and this year's tributes. Then the plates begin to rise.

My eyes are on Annie the whole time. I told her to run in the opposite direction of the cornucopia, to leave the blood.

"5…4…3…2…1… Let the 70th hunger games begin!"

Annie takes off diving into the water. When she resurfaces she's at the shore already. Then she takes off full speed into the forest; once she's far enough in, she dives into a bush where she waits.

I watch the bloodbath, and strangely barely anyone dies. Only 6 people.

6M, 8F, 9F, 10M, 12F and 12M.

And all six of those people were killed by the bloodthirsty careers.

The reality of the situation hits me: If anyone finds Annie, she has no chance. At all.

I take a deep breath, and continue watching the games. Everyone has scattered into the forest by now, except the careers, who stay at the cornucopia. I worry the Annie isn't far enough away.

Most of the tributes climb the trees of the forest, or stay hidden in the bush. No one goes near Annie.

…

The games are really boring so far. No one has died since the cornucopia. Even if it has only been a day, someone usually dies.

If the games keep this up the game makers will get bored very quickly.

This is not good. Not good for Annie at all.

If the game makers put something in the games to bring the tributes together, she's dead.

No.

I'm currently sitting alone in the victor's lounge. Finnick is with a woman and most of the other victors are gone to their rooms to sleep.

I guess it's about time for me to go find oreos and honey.

…

"What am I going to do Finn?" I whisper. My head is laid down on Finnick's lap. He just got back from his women, and he found me sitting on the couch alone eating my oreos, so he figured he'd join me.

"About what, love?" He asks.

"About Kyanna. I can't let Snow take her from me." I'm breathing my words, nervous that Snow is listening to me.

I watch as he clenches his jaw, and he strokes the hair from my face. "I don't think there's anything you can do…"

"There has to be something!" I say, cutting him off.

He leans down so his mouth is on my ear, and he whispers so quietly, "I know how much you love her, Gem. I love her too… but there isn't anything we can do, unless you want Trixie to end up dead. I promise you we can have another child…"

"When though, Finn?" My voice breaks and I start to cry.

He kisses my temple, "Soon. I promise."

…

_Soon. I promise._

Those words have been ringing in my head all night and all day. I couldn't sleep because of those damn 3 words. What does he mean, soon? He knows we can't have a child if President Snow is running Panem.

Wait.

Does that mean?

The meetings. The little stories about a better world. Being able to have a child soon.

_Is Finnick planning a rebellion?_

* * *

><p><em>Hehehehe :) What did you think of that ending? What's going to happen :o<br>_


	40. Chapter 39: Try number three

_Hey guys... am I the only one that wishes I am at the Hob right now? It looks like so much fun to be camping out with all the other fans... blah! Or if you are reading this, and you are at/did go to the hob.. you are so incredibly lucky! Anyways, I hope you like the chapter! _

_I've decided that Annie's games are going to be over the next chapter; so after that I will probably have one or two more chapters. I'm still trying to decide if I should skip the 71-72-73 games, and move right onto the 74th (The next book will start at the 74th games!) after those chapters... :/_

_Read and Review, tell me what you thought of this chapter! There may be some foreshadowing some where in this chapter... but I'm not going to tell you what. Make your guessing in a review, then you'll just have to wait! Muah ah ah ;)_

_Thanks! And I do not own the hunger games!_

xXxXx

**_"Now he's [Cinna] arranging things around my living room: Clothing, fabrics, and sketchbooks with designs he's drawn. I pick one up and examine one of the dresses I supposedly created._**  
><strong><em>'You know, I think I show a lot of promise,' I say.<em>**  
><strong><em>'Get dressed, you worthless thing.'"<em> **

* * *

><p>I just don't know what to think anymore. The possible thoughts of there being a rebellion in Panem have been haunting me for the past 3 days. But I haven't forgotten; how could I possibly forget…<p>

Today is the day they remove the child from my body.

I sit and stare at the screen in front of me numbly; Annie is still hiding in the bush, she hasn't come out. Me and Finn managed to scrounge up money to send her bread and water yesterday so she's been nibbling on that.

No one has died since the bloodbath. Not one single person.

Then suddenly someone's arms are around me; Finnick. He still has no idea that I've been thinking about this rebellion. I need to talk to him alone, some place where there aren't any cameras. "Hey, Babe." He whispers in my ear.

I sink myself into him and his arms slide down so they are resting across my abdomen. His hands stroke my stomach, and I place mine on top of his.

I lean up into his ear and breath, "I need to talk to you alone. No cameras."

He nods and takes a look around the room before jumping up from his seat. He grabs my hand and drags me down some hallways and into a door. We climb the stairs that are after the door, and once we're at the top I gasp. We're on the roof. The view is gorgeous.

We make our way to the edge where we sit down, I gaze over the side. What would happen if I jump? I'd be dead before I'd realize what would be happening.

"I know." I say. There's no way cameras could pick up our talking because of the wind.

"You know? Know what, love?" He asks.

"You're planning a rebellion aren't you?" I look up into his eyes. They were glowing, but after I said that they fade and he turns his attention to the crowd of people growing below us.

"Yes." He whispers.

"Why couldn't you tell me, Finn? You know you can tell me anything."

"It wasn't safe… in case anything ever happens, the less you know the better." What is he talking about?

"What could happen?" I push.

He clenches his jaw and swallows before he talks again. His hair is blowing around in the wind. "If… the capitol ever got a hold of you… the less you know the better. You aren't joining us, Gemma. Its way too dangerous."

"I can do what I want to do! I want to join! Do you know how badly I hate Snow? He's making me pick between my two children!" I stand up, suddenly mad.

"I understand that, Gemma. But you don't-"

"No. Save it Finn." I say, putting my hand up. I step up onto the ledge, and look over at all the people and cars again.

"Watch out Gem, you don't want to fall." Finnick warns me. I inch my way closer to the edge.

I do want to fall. I have this sudden surge of adrenaline that's telling me to jump… it would be all over so fast.

So I jump. I take a step off, and I fall through the air.

I squeeze my eyes shut and listen to Finnick's screams. Then I feel this sudden shot rush through me, and the world goes black.

…

_Beep… Beep Beep… Beep… Beep Beep…_

Seriously? That bloody beeping again? How many times must I hear that? Oh wait, that means I'm in the hospital.

Because I jumped off the roof. Right.

If I'm correct, this has been my third suicide attempt. Don't they understand that I don't want to live anymore? Can't they just kill me already?

"Gemma, Open your eyes." I hear Finnick's voice, so I follow the command and open them.

I'm not going to talk. If I can't die I can at least refuse to do anything besides lie here, right? I swallow and stare right into his eyes.

"Talk to me, please. Tell me why you did that." I feel bad for not talking to him.

I let a single tear roll down my cheek for an answer; I'm emotionless, my face is stone cold.

He whispers, "Are you really that unhappy, Gemma? So unhappy that you'd like to leave me and Trixie forever?"

I'm going to break my silence for just one sentence, "I don't deserve to be here." I turn my head from his sad eyes to stare at the wall.

"Listen to me. You deserve to be here more than anyone, Gem… That was your third try, you're not meant to die yet. Ky won't let you die yet." Way to state the obvious, Finny.

I do all that I can to hold back my tears, and I gently move my hand down to my stomach, "She's gone." He tells me.

Then that bloody pain in my heart starts again. I turn onto my left side, closest to him, and curl up into a ball. I silently cry, my body shakes.

"Please talk to me Gem…" He says, rubbing my back.

Okay I can't do my vow of silence. It just isn't going to work for me. "It… It hurts… so bad." I whimper.

"I know, baby, I know… but remember what I said? We can have another one soon… I promise."

I tilt my head so I'm looking at him, "What happened after I jumped? How come I'm not a bunch of blood on the pavement right now?" He flinches when I say this.

"There was a force field… so if tributes ever go up there they can't die. It knocked you out before it threw you back up. Then I got you to the hospital quicker than anything… and they fixed you up and…. You know. Can this be the last time you're in the hospital this trip, please? I hate it here." He scrunches up his nose and I nod.

"Okay…" I whisper.

"I love you." He says, taking my hand. "Don't try to leave me anymore."

"I love you too…"

…

I watch in horror as the pack of careers chase Tyne. They are headed straight for Annie's bush she's hiding in. _Stay hidden, Annie. Don't come out._

They are right next to her bush when Tyne stops and draws his spear. I see Annie peaking out of a tiny hole. She can see everything, but they can't see her. The careers near him and start to circle him. The boy from one says, "You little traitor bitch. You're going to pay for what you did."

I look up to Finnick and question him with my eyes, "He was taking food and supplies from them and giving it to other tributes…" He whispers. I nod.

Now the girl from one speaks, "Crystal, Scotty, you guys go back to camp. Me and my partner here can take care of him."

I'm assuming that Crystal and Scotty are the tributes from district two. They say goodbye and good luck before walking away. The boy from one snarls at Tyne.

"I'm not scared of you two." Tyne spits at them.

The girl laughs, "You should be!" She raises her axe and charges towards him; he doesn't move.

Bam. His head is lying next to the bush that Annie is in. _Don't move Annie, Don't react._

She clamps a hand over her mouth to keep from screaming, and squeezes her eyes shut as the tears stream down her face.

The district partners from one high five and laugh with each other before leaving the headless body and walking away.

The hovercraft comes to pick up the pieces and leaves again. Annie has changed position; instead of having her hand over her mouth, they are clamped over her ears. She curls up into a ball and whispers things to herself. Oh no.

"Oh… Annie…" I whisper. Finnick squeezes my shoulders and I allow myself to cry for her.

…

She hasn't moved position. She just stays curled up in the ball in the bush mumbling things to herself over and over; it's been 3 days. No one else has died.

It's been almost a week since the games began, and there has only been 6 or 7 deaths. I've been coping with the loss of my child well, I guess. I burst out crying at random times, and my hand rarely leaves my stomach, but that's it.

I've also gone back to 'work.' Me and Finnick haven't seen each other very much cause we both have to 'make up for the time we've lost.' It sucks. I just was to curl up into bed and morn for my child, but President Snow would never have that.

I convinced Finnick to tell me more about the rebellion, so he did, but he still won't let me go to those meetings. He told me about how they are waiting for the right person to win the games, so they don't know how long it will take. He told me about how most of the victors are in on it, etc etc.

He refuses to let me be a part of it though, claiming that I could get hurt. But how could I possibly get hurt? It's the same thing each year… we live in district four, swimming, fishing, playing with Trixie; then we come to the capitol to mentor two children that are going to die and sell ourselves. Now where could I possibly get hurt in that?

I don't understand it really, but he insists… so I agree. I just can't wait to get back home to the salty sea and the beach.

A weird sounding alarm goes off, echoing through the victor's lounge. Everyone in the room turn their attention to the screen as others pour in, including Finnick. He takes his seat next to me and Haymitch and we watch.

A symbol pops up in the corner of the screen, telling us what the peacekeepers are planning. Oh no. This could go horribly wrong.

The game makers are planning a earthquake.


	41. Chapter 40: Raining Tears

_Hey guys! Second chapter of the day, woot woot! Anyways, yeah… I hope you like the chapter! I'm finding it really hard to write Annie/Finnick with little interaction between them because they are just so cute together and I want them to be together so bad. But I know that in this story Finnick and Gemma are in love so they just can't randomly be together *sigh*. _

_Read and Review please! _

_xXxXx_

"_**Really, the combination of the scabs and the ointment looks hideous. I can't help enjoying his distress.  
>"Poor Finnick. Is this the first time in your life you haven't looked pretty?" I say.<br>"It must be. The sensation's completely new. How have you managed it all these years?" he asks.  
>"Just avoid mirrors. You'll forget about it," I say.<br>"Not if I keep looking at you," he says."**_

* * *

><p>The ground is splitting. Annie jumps from her bush and starts running towards the river.<p>

She jumps in and stays in under as more tributes pass her, running full force, not like they have anywhere to go though.

But then something unexpected happens. Something that not even the game makers thought could happen when they made the arena.

A dam cutting off the rushing river from the forest breaks.

The entire arena floods.

I grip onto Finnick's arm as I watch; the poor children are running from the flow of water, trying to get away from it. But death comes to them anyways. They knock them down, most of them drown; some of them hit their heads on things as they fall.

_**BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! **_

Eight children dead in a matter of minutes.

Annie Is swimming around in the water, giving the capitol a good show. She's doing flips and twists and turns underneath the water, meanwhile all the other tributes are dying.

_**BANG!**_ Another one just drowned.

There are three kids left, one of them are Annie, and she's not dying anytime soon. She knows how to handle freezing rushing water… if she could just outlast the other tributes.

_**BANG! **_ It's just Annie and the boy from 6 left.

This is not what the game makers wanted at all. President Snow is going to be furious.

The boy from six bobs his head up in the water. The huge arena is just one big lake now; even the cornucopia is under. There is no land.

This is merely just a game of who can last longer in the water now, considering neither of them has any weapons or food.

"Oh my god," I breathe.

"It's okay, she'll be fine. She's a fish, remember?" Finnick calms me.

"Right, right…"

She's still doing the flips with a huge smile on her face. She dives down in the water, and it shows her swimming down deeper to see what's on the bottom. It's mostly just tree and bush and fish. Then she darts back up.

Then the screen flashes to the boy, who is barely staying afloat while he's shaking. Then all of a sudden he shoots in under the water.

But he doesn't come back up.

_**BANG!**_

Annie hears the canon, and she darts out of the water to look around. She mustn't have heard the others, being under the water and all.

"Ladies and Gentleman, the winner of the 70th Hunger games, Annasophia Cresta!"

Annie reacts differently than most other people would have. She starts screaming "Get away!" when the hovercraft comes to try to get her, and she swims in the opposite direction. She's screaming and crying and desperately trying to clamp those hands over her ears, but she can't because she has to keep swimming.

I jump up from my seat and run over to the phone connecting the victor's lounge to the game makers. "Get me the head game maker." I say into the phone.

"What!" Someone shouts at me through the other end.

"Put me through to the bloody arena; I'm her mentor, I can calm her down!" I scream equally just as loud as the man.

I hear a groan, and then I'm redirected.

"You're in." A voice says.

"Annie? Annie it's me Gemma! They aren't going to hurt you, Annie!" I look at the screen, and she's looking around trying to find me.

"Gemma? Where are you! Help me Gemma! They're going to get me!" She cries.

"No, Annie, they aren't going to get you. They are going to bring you to me and Finn, okay? They are going to bring you back here and then we can go home to the ocean. Go on, go with them."

She slowly starts to believe me, so she makes her way over to the hovercraft. With a very gently touch she holds onto the rope ladder as they drag her up.

I sigh and hang up the phone. Finnick walks over to me, "Well done, love." Then he kisses me.

"Thank you." I say into his lips.

…

I watch as Annie's eyes glaze over. "So, Annasophia, you do you think you would have won the games if the dam didn't break?" Caesar asks her.

For a reply, she brings her knees to her chest and covers her ears with her hands while squeezing her eyes shut. Caesar looks off stage, shrugs at someone, and then announces that the replays are going to start.

They are extremely short this year; there wasn't much to show.

She doesn't move from her spot, not even after it's over and the crowd clears. Me, Mags, and Finnick walk onto the stage to collect her. I bend down on my knees so I'm at her level, "Hey, Annie? It's over."

She slowly picks her head up, and opens her eyes. "They're coming, Gemma."

"No, no one's coming, Annie. It's all over. Right Finn?" We both look up at Finnick and he gives her a very small smile with a nod of his head.

She shakes her head furiously, "No. You're lying. They're coming for me." Then she squeezes her eyes shut again.

I sigh, and me and Finnick both gently take her arms to bring her along as Mags holds her hand. We bring her to the train station where we have to say goodbye to everyone.

Trixie is screaming and crying, very upset. I'm actually not that sad at all; I'm glad to be going back to the ocean where no one can force me to do anything. "Hey, Trix, it's going to be okay. See? Annie's coming with us."

I take Trixie from Enobaria, and give her a one armed hug while saying goodbye. "Bye Eno!" Trixie shouts out.

We make our rounds and say goodbye to all of the victors. I cry when I say good bye to Esmeralda, of course. It's always going to be hard having to leave her. Especially after spending so much time with clients and in the hospital this short trip, I barely got to see her or the others.

I didn't tell her about Snow taking my child until after it was done, because I was scared she would have went and done something to Snow. I wouldn't have put it past her, honestly.

"Haystack!" I whine. He's always the last person I say goodbye too.

"Hey, Gemmmma." He slurs as I hug him.

Before I pull away I breath into his ear, "I know about the rebels. I wanted to join but Finn won't let me."

He pulls away and looks me in the eye, "I know. Finnick told me. It's better if you didn't. I'll see you all next year then, I guess." I give him the saddest smile, and my bottom lip begins to quiver. He taps Trixie's nose and she giggles, "See you later, daughter."

Then I go back over to Finn, Annie, and Mags before I can start crying again, and we climb the steps onto the train. "Annie… come on, it's okay."

Her hands are shaking, but she removes them from her ears.

I make a mental note to pray that Snow doesn't force her into prostitution. It would break her. "Gemma?" She asks me.

"Yeah?" I say with a smile.

"When is Kyanna being born?" She looks like such a small child.

The pain starts in my heart again, and tears fall from my eyes, "Actually… Annie… Kyanna isn't going to be born." How do I tell her this?

"What? Why?" She asks.

"Because I'm not allowed to have a baby." I say, wiping my eyes.

"They got her didn't they?" She says.

"No, there is no 'they.' You're safe now."

"You're lying. They got that innocent baby; they're coming to get us! They're going to get all of us, Gemma! We have to hide! It's the only way!" They she jumps up and takes off full force out of the room, and I'm left holding Trixie with tears raining down my face.


	42. Chapter 41: It's been years

_Hey lovelies! _

_I'm really sorry that I haven't updated sooner; one of my best friends is going through a really hard time so I'm busy helping her out whenever I can… But I had the chance to write today, so here is the new chapter! Tell me what you think (: _

_I hope you like it! Read and Review, please! (:_

_By the way, did anyone watch the hunger games red carpet premiere last night? I pretty much died watching it.  
>It. Was. Ah. Freaking. Mazing.<em>

_xXxXx_

_**" "I'm so sorry," I whisper. I lean forward and kiss him.  
>His eyelashes flutter and he looks at me through a haze of opiates. "Hey, Catnip."<br>"Hey, Gale," I say.  
>"Thought you'd be gone by now," He says.<br>My choices are simple. I can die like a quarry in the woods or I can die here beside Gale. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay right here and cause all kinds of trouble."  
>"Me, too," Gale says. He just manages a smile before the drugs pull him back under."<strong>_

* * *

><p><em><em>**3 Months later**

* * *

><p>"<em>Gemmmmma. Come on!" Carter whines.<em>

"_Oh stop whining! How old are you Carter? Like, 5?"_

"_No, actually. I'm 17, thank you very much."_

_I roll my eyes, "Like I didn't already know that. Can you go into town and buy me some peaches and gummy bears?"_

"_Now, why in the hell would you possibly want that?" He asks me, snorting._

"_Because I'm pregnant and craving it! Don't argue!" He looks to the floor, "I'll come with you, if you'd like." _

_He instantly brightens and we set off into town._

_Three girls in a grade higher than me –the popular girls- Christy, Scarlett, and Angela run into us. "Ooops! Sorry!" Christy says, snickering. _

"_Back off, Christy." Carter warns._

"_Ou! Going to protect your girlfriend now, Carter? She can fight her own battles, I'm sure." She says._

"_She's not my girlfriend, we're best friends. And I can protect her all I want, especially since she's pregnant, dumb ass." _

_Christy sends one glare our way, flicks her hair, and marches off – Scarlett and Angela in tow. "Ugh, I hate those girls." Carter says._

_I throw my arms around his waist, and even though it's a rather awkward position because of my budging stomach, he hugs me back. "Thanks," I whisper. _

That was the first thought that came to me when I walked through town in District one. It's been three months since the last games, and me and Trixie really miss everyone here. With Finnick gone to the Capitol for 'business' every three months now, me and Trixie figured it would be good if we got a vacation every once in a while.

I spend most of my time helping Annie now. She's broken and battered, and with her victory tour only a few months away I'm not sure she'll be able to handle it. At least Finnick, Mags and I will be with her.

She keeps claiming that they are coming for her. She has gotten better, yes, but she still has her moments. The only time when she's gone back to the normal Annie is when she's in the ocean, so that's where we spend a lot of time.

Trixie knows how to keep herself afloat now. Finnick has taught her. She's spent a lot of time with him, and now she refers to him as 'Daddy' instead of Carter, which I'm glad about.

After talking about it a whole lot with Finnick, I've decided that I should talk to Carter. I need my friend back again, I miss him so much. There are two holes in my heart now, one for him and one for Kyanna. I can only mend one of them, so I might as well get to it.

I have night mares every night, and each one is different. Sometimes they are about Finnick and Trixie and Kyanna, other nights they are about my mother's head… then sometimes they are about the horrible men I have to endure every time I'm at the capitol. Let's just say I wake up screaming quite often.

I walk past my families, well… my old families Jewelry store. I stop and look in the window; I haven't been in there in so long, not since my games. I back up and put my hand on the door. I'm not quite sure I can handle this, with all the memories, but I've already taken my pill today so I should be okay. I push my way in through the door; The place haven't changed a bit, besides from one thing.

I big picture of my mother, and then another of me, hang on the wall.

In the picture of my mother, she's smiling brightly. It's an old picture, from before I had Trixie and we were all happy. The picture of me however is quite the opposite. It was from my post-games interview, and I look terrified.

I continue in through the store, looking at the merchandise. I think about my dad, whatever has happened to him. I haven't seen him in over three years, I miss him a lot.

I walk up to the counter, and look in the glass. A man, with a white beard and white hair sits behind it; he looks kind of familiar but I can't place him.

"What is the most expensive ring here?" I say, still looking down.

I hear the chair screech against the floor, and then someone stops moving. I look up at the man, I've seen those eyes before. "Gemma?" He whispers.

I glance around, "Uh? Yeah? Do I know you?"

"Oh…. Gemma…" He breathes. He seems stunned, probably just because he's seen the great Gemma Stone in person.

"Anyways, back to the ring? I have a bunch of money I'll spend here…" I say, turning my attention back to the case. After a while I look back up, only to see the man staring at me with tear filled eyes. "Do you have a problem?" I sound rude.

"Y-you don't know me?" He whispers.

"No? Should I?" I say, screwing up my face.

"Yes." He says.

"Well, who are you then, Mr important?" I say sarcastically.

He laughs shortly and a tear rolls down his cheek, "Gemma, I'm your father."

…

I've been sitting in the back room clutching a pillow and breathing deeply for the past hour. This is too much, I shouldn't have come here.

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block out the man sitting in front of me. Who does he think he is? Saying he's my father. My father is being held by the Capitol.

"You are not my father. How dare you say such a thing." There's venom in my voice.

"Gemma you have to believe me, it's me, your dad!" He says.

"Oh yeah? Well tell me something about myself that no one else would know." I say.

"Okay… you were pregnant with Trixie when you were 15, and you craved peaches and gummy bears. You used to have a tantrum when you were four every time I told you I had to go to work. When you were 7 you were in softball. You have a love for rubies. I recall you used to drink hot chocolate every morning when you lived with me. Your favorite colors are pink and blue. You love to sing. You have a birthmark that looks like a tree on you lower back-"

"Enough!" I cut him off. "I don't have that birth mark anymore… it's covered in scars." I whisper.

"You have no idea how horrible my life has been without you, Gem." He says, lifting a hand and putting it on my cheek.

Tears form in my eyes, "Daddy?" I whisper.

"It's me baby," He says, letting his tears fall freely.

I jump into his arms, and then I know it really is him. He smells the same. I start sobbing, letting them take over my body, "I missed you so much!" I cried into his shoulder.

After a while I pull away from him, "Why didn't you come to see me?"

"No one would tell me where you were… I thought you were gone. I saw you on the TV each year, but then you never came to district one…" He says. This just makes me cry even more.

I feel like I'm a little child again, being cradled in her father's arms. "I… I'm so sorry!" I wail into his shoulder.

"Sh. It's okay, I'm here now."

…

"I can't believe it Finn," I whisper into the phone.

"I'm so happy for you, love. I can't wait to get home to meet him." Finnick says back to me.

I take a shaky breath, "I wish you were here… It's bringing back a lot of memories, Finn. I can't walk into my house, so I'm staying in my old home… the last time I was in there was before the games."

"You're going to be fine, gorgeous. Have a good time with your father. I have to go, but I'll see you soon, okay? I love you."

"I love you too, bye Finn."

I hang up the phone and walk back over to the couch where Trixie is asleep across my Father's lap. He's stroking her hair, "So you and Finnick, huh?"

I smile and plop down across from them, in a chair. "Yep."

"I can't believe we're together again…" He trails off. I take him in; he doesn't look like he's been hurt, or starved. He looks perfectly fine, or better since I seen him last. He's way wrinklier though, and he has a long white beard and white hair…

"What happened to you?" I ask.

His breath catches. "Well… after you got reaped, I came back here until the games were over, then I went back to the capitol. I was in the audience for your interview, you know."

I did not know that.

"Anyways, I stayed in the capitol after that, for another year until the next games. Then I moved back here, only to find that your mother was gone, and you never came back. I kept praying that both of you would come back to me, but I figured you both moved to another district."

He doesn't know. Oh my god.

I start playing with my hands, and he stops talking. He looks at me, expecting me to say something. I look up and into his eyes, those beautiful eyes I know so well, that contain so many child hood memories, and that are glowing with happiness with me just being here with him. I reach across the table and take his hand in mine. "Dad…" I start.

"What? What is it?"

I drop my gaze from him to the floor "Mom's… dead. She died 6 months after my games, right after my victory tour."

I don't have to be a doctor to tell that his heart is broken. He was holding onto the tiny shred of hope that his wife would return to him, and now he knows she never will. I look back up at him, and he's frozen.

His eyes are filled with tears and he has the end of his lips curled into a tiny smile. He doesn't say a word to me; just gently removes Trixie from his lap and leaves the room.

He closes the door to the bathroom once he's in there, and after a few minutes I hear his sobs.

"Oh, dear god… why? No… no…" He keeps saying through his sobs. I squeeze my eyes shut and guild myself and the sleeping Trixie out the front door.

I need to get away, this was to much. I should never have came here.


	43. Chapter 42: A ride on the wild side

_Hey guys, just a little filler chapter to show Gemma's mental health! I really would love some more reviews, they seem to have suddenly stopped for the past few chapters It makes me sad!_

_Anyways, I hope you like the chapter!_

_Tell me if you think it is too long and boring, too, by the way. _

"_Where's Finnick?" "Odair he is!" HAAHHAHA saw that on Twitter today (Follow me! GamesPeetaLover), and it made me laugh for like an hour… I'm so cool ;)_

_Thanks everyone! And I do not own the hunger games, or this song!_

_xXxXx_

"_**Yeah, we wouldn't want to lose our little MockingJay when she's finally begun to sing."**__ –Haymitch Abernathy, MockingJay._

* * *

><p>"Thanks, Es. I'll be home soon… I just… I need to clear my head." I explain to Esmeralda as I pass the sleeping child from my arms to hers.<p>

"Take your time," She says before I walk out the door.

I don't know where I plan on going, but I'm going somewhere. I leave the house, and as soon as I'm off of the walkway I start to sprint. I keep running for a long time, until I find myself lost.

Normally, if this was district four, I would run to the ocean; but I haven't been here in so long, I forget all of my hiding places.

I wind up in the woods that separates districts 1 and 2. I spin around in a circle once, then sink to my knees, letting the sobs take over my body. I curl into myself; my forehead eventually touches the dirt.

My hands are scraped; sweat, tears and blood are covering me head to toe. I really wish Finnick was here to comfort me.

After a while I sink to the ground, finished crying. I want to have some time to sulk and be depressed about my life. I'm so tired of being strong.

I curl myself into a ball, and start to shiver. Night is falling.

I'm lucky I was in the hunger games, because if I didn't know how to survive in the wild, I would be screwed.

After I'm finished my self-pity moment, I stand back up. I wipe my eyes and look around; it's even harder to see in the dark.

I walk a little ways, but I don't go anywhere. It's useless.

I put my very little weaving skills that Finnick has taught me to work, and I weave a little grass mat that I lay over myself. It works, and I'm not as cold.

I don't care about the bugs crawling on me, the freezing wind, or even the fact that I'm lost in the middle of the woods, alone. Right now, all I want to do is sleep, so I do.

…

I wake up to birds chirping. I stretch and squint my eyes; it's sunny. I sit up and look around, realizing where I'm too. Esmeralda will be worried sick. If I don't return home soon, she'll probably call Finnick. Oh well.

I take my hair down from its pony tail, and braid it down my back before starting to weave more stronger mats. They are thinker, and way more sturdy. After I make 4 gigantic ones, I tie them together (3 sides and the roof), so now I have myself a little grass hut. I crawl into it, thankful that it blocks the wind.

_Maybe I can just live here in this little grass hut forever. Never go back._

I sit and ponder this for a few moments. Finnick would find me in a matter of days; I can't possibly be that far from town.

After warming up some, I leave my grass hut to go look around the woods. There are no laws against people being allowed to be in these woods, like there is in some districts, considering no one wants to be out here anyways. If you can have more than you'd ever want in district one, why would you ever want to come live in the dirty woods?

This works well for me though, because in a matter of seconds I find numerous things that I recognise as edible: I find some blueberries, dandelions, mint leaves, and some wild mushrooms.

I crawl back into my little make shift house to eat my food. After a while I'm thirsty though, so I set out to find water. While I walk I think about how I don't want to go back. I think about how it's so peaceful out here in the woods, that I might just stay out here for a bit.

Sounds like a plan.

…

I find a little river a long ways away from my hut. I decide to leave the old one and to just make a new one here by the shore. I make my new house, collect more edible plants, and wash up in the creek. Then I tie a sharp rock to a long branch to make a make shift spear, just in case something happens.

Once all that is finished, I curl up on the floor of my hut again.

I wonder if Esmeralda called Finnick yet. I wonder if Finnick would leave the Capitol to come search for me, even if it would mean he would get in trouble.

That's when I realize I didn't take my pill today; I left them back at Esmeralda's. Oops.

I thought to soon; Ky looks down at me in my hut, eyebrows raised. "KY!" I screech, trying to jump into his arms but landing flat on my face.

"Gemma, you are just imagining me. Don't you realize I can't touch you?" He laughs.

"But… that one time…" I trail off.

He rolls his eyes, "What were you thinking coming out here, Gem?"

"I was thinking I needed some lone time to think."

"In the woods, where you're lost?" He says.

"Oh, _Puh-lease. _We were both in the games; I think I can survive a few days in the woods where there aren't 19 other tributes and even more mutts wanting my blood."

We continue bickering for a while, and then he comes to sit next to me in the hut. I start to shake again soon, and he tells me to make a fire outside. "No! They could see the smoke!"

"Gemma you are going to freeze. Make one. Now." Jeesh. Couldn't I imagine him a bit nicer?

I sigh and do as I'm told. I walk around the dark woods collecting branches. I take two and rub them together until a spark eventually forms, flying through the air and landing on my pile of branches. It catches fire, and a flame comes to life.

"There, happy now?" I grumble.

He smirks, "Very."

I settle down by the fire, bringing my hut close to it so I can get the heat from it, but still be out of the wind. I quickly wall asleep to the peaceful noises of nature.

…

This is my fourth day in the woods. I really like it. There's more food than enough, and I never get bored of things to do. I tried to make a fishing rod yesterday, but I didn't have any twine and it didn't work out very well.

I completely forgot. Finnick is coming to one today. Shit.

His visit with the Capitol is over today, so instead of going back to four he was going to come here instead. Looking at the sun in the sky, I suspect he's here already. They could be out looking for me as we speak. "Shit!" I scream out loud.

I dip my feet in the river, and sing to myself a song Finnick taught me, that usually cheers me up...

"_Blue skies smilin' at me  
>Nothin' but blue skies do I see<br>Bluebirds singin' a song  
>Nothin' but bluebirds all day long<em>

_Never saw the sun shinin' so bright_  
><em>Never saw things goin' so right<em>  
><em>Noticing the days hurrying by<em>  
><em>When you're in love, my how they fly<em>

_Blue days, all of them gone_  
><em>Nothin' but blue skies from now on<em>  
><em>(Blue skies smilin' at me<em>  
><em>Nothin' but blue skies do I see)<em>

_Never saw the sun shinin' so bright_  
><em>Never saw things goin' so right<em>  
><em>Noticing the days hurrying by<em>  
><em>When you're in love, my how they fly<em>

_Blue days, all of them gone_  
><em>Nothin' but blue skies from now on<em>  
><em>Nothin' but blue skies from now on…"<em>

Tears come to my eyes, remembering when he taught me that song. It was after one of my appointments, and I was hurt badly… I was curled into his arms, and he was comforting me, whispering soothing things in my ears. I asked him to sing, and he sang that song… I picked it up instantly, and it became one of my favorites. It's from before the dark days, but I still love it. It reminds me that life is actually good, not all of its bad.

I wipe a single tear that rolled down my face and stood up. I closed my eyes and flipped around on my wet heals, slipping back on my shoes. I start walking around, trying to find some blueberries, when I hear them.

"Gemma!"

"Gemma! Are you here Gemma?"

I stop in my tracts instantly, because I've entered a clearing. They would be here any second, so instead of yelling back to them I just plop down in the soft grass, gripping my spear while getting comfortable and closing my eyes.

"Gemma!" I hear Finnick's voice and then footsteps running towards me.

"Ah!" I scream after opening one eye and seeing the big crowd that is now in the clearing. "What the hell?" I ask, jumping up and backing away from them while holding my spear up defensively.

"Thank god we found you! We've been looking for days, Gemma… I thought I lost you." Finnick whispers. He takes a step towards me, with his hands held up in front of him, offering peace, and I take a step back. He cocks his head, "What's wrong?"

"I… I don't want to go back. It was nice of all of you to come looking for me, but I've been fine here." I try to remain calm, but I haven't taken my medication in almost five days, and I can feel myself going crazy.

"Come on Gem, we got to go home, to the sea. Okay?" Finnick soothes like he's talking to a small child, taking another step towards me.

I take yet another step back, pointing my spear at his throat "No. Finnick, don't test me. I can feel myself going crazy, I haven't taken my medication in 4 days. Just leave." I hiss, shaking. I start laughing then, and my hands shake worse.

I can see the hurt and worry in his eyes, "4 days Gemma! Oh my god! You have to take it every day!" He almost is shouting at me, and I lose it.

I turn around and take off full speed away from him, screaming. "I don't have to do anything I don't want to do! You can't make me!" I sound like a child, but oh well. I'm allowed to act immature if I want too.

I have to stop and pant, because I can't breathe, and he's on me in a second. His strong hands are wrapped around my arms, pinning them behind my back. He grabs the spear from my hand and throws it far away, all the while I'm trying my hardest to get out of his grasp, to desperately flee."Come on Gemma, you don't know what you're doing right now. Let's just go back home, okay?"

"No…" I just whimper now, "This is my home. Me and Ky have spent the last few days together out here. I love it here."

He sighs and picks me up, slinging me over his strong shoulder. I kick him and punch him, but he doesn't even flinch. Eventually we are back with the huge group of people.

Esmeralda comes over and cups my face in her hands, which is awkward because I'm still over Finn's shoulder, tears streaming from her eyes. "I thought you were gone, Gem. I have been looking for you for so long."

I play up the child act, and stick my tongue out at her after I snicker. She doesn't get affected by it though. She knows I'm not in my right mind. "Like any of you care about me! No one cares about me!" I scream at the top of my lungs. Finnick drops me on my butt, and It hurts. "Ow!" I scream in his face.

He's furious, and he points a finger in my face, "How can you say no one cares about you, Gemma? Look at all these people here, looking for you! I love you! Es loves you! Trixie loves you! Haymitch loves you! Adalee loves you! Mags loves you! Annie loves you! Carter loves you! So many people love you!"

I glare at him and snort. My brain is switching up what's real and what's not, I don't understand. It's all grumbled; part of my believes him, but then there's this little voice telling me that he's lying. I decide to believe the voice, "The… The Capitol forced you all to love me. Like they force me to love those men." I say.

A gasp goes through the crowd, obviously they didn't know, and then it falls silent. Finnick crouches down on his knees, and he cups my face. "No. Your brain is making you think that. We all love you more than anything. And you don't love those men, you love me." Then he kisses me and I come back to normal.

I'm completely confused as to what just happened. I bring my hand to his cheek, and look up into his eyes. "Finnick? When did you get here?" I whisper.

"I've been here for a while, Gem. You've been trying to run away."

Tears stream down my face, I hate being bloody crazy. I have no idea what's going on right now, I feel so lost in my own mind. "I'm scared, Finn, I don't understand what's going on in my head... I want to go home. To the ocean. With you!" I throw my arms around his neck and he picks me up.

I feel him nod, "I know... It's okay..."

And then he is carrying me, and they are all walking. I quickly fall asleep on his shoulder to the pattern of his steps.


	44. Chapter 43: The End

"Thanks Finn." I whisper as the Avox inserts the needle into my arm. We are on the train, going home. Finnick carried me back to the town, and we had to leave first thing. I said a teary good bye to all my victor family without a problem, but then when my father came I started to freak out again.

I screamed nonsense at him, and Finnick had to literally grab my arms and drag me (punching, kicking, and screaming, might I add) onto the train. The last image I have of my father before leaving the district is him standing with a face as set as stone watching the train pull out of the station with tears streaming down his face.

He doesn't say anything; he just simply picks Trixie up and carries her to her room to sleep.

He comes back and cocks his head to the side, squinting his eyes. He's just staring at me.

"What?" I snap at him. I sound a lot meaner than I meant too.

"Why'd you do that, Gem?" He questions.

"Do what?" I ask dumbly.

"Not take your medication for four days. Do you even remember what you did?"

I think about it for a few minutes; it's kind of foggy in my brain. I remember everything when I was alone and talking to Ky, but then when Finnick showed up it all goes weird.

"Everything before you all showed up." I state.

"You know you pointed a make shift spear at me? Threatening to kill me? Then you ran away from me Gemma…" He trails off, eyes still searching my eyes.

"Oh god Finnick, I'm so sorry." I really don't recall pointing anything at him. I remember the running, vaguely though.

"Do you really love me, Gemma?" He whispers.

"You know I do, stupid!" I say with a joking tone; but I am very serious. "It's just my brain is messed up! I'm crazy!"

Tears fill his eyes, "Promise?"

I walk over to him and take his face in my hands, "I promise. I love you, Finnick Odair. More than anything in this world."

He leans down and kisses me, "I love you too."

* * *

><p><em>So… I'm ending the story there. <em>

_Yeah, Yeah, I know it was a sucky ending! BUT…_

_I'm starting the new book very soon… YAY!_

_The next book will be my third and final book in this trilogy. I am happy and sad; it's a bittersweet kind of feeling. I'm delighted, because big things are coming in this book, and I can't wait for you all to read it (It will be the most action packed, I hope!) and I'm very sad, because I have to leave all of these wonderful characters behind so I can move onto more stories!_

_But….. (there's always a but) depending on how well the next book does/how many reviews it gets, I might do a few one shots or another story about their lives after the war, their children, etc…_

_It will take place from Katniss/Peeta's games onwards… so it might be long! But it will be exciting ;)_

_I am going to change it a bit. I will not be sticking to the original MockingJay. More fun is coming ;)_

_And…. The title of the next book? "The Promise of a Pin." *Squeal* I'm sorry, I just had to stick with the whole "The promise of a …" thing. I mean, I can't just change it now! Not after there are two other books! Geez! _

_Anyways…. Thank you all, soo soooo much! It means so much to me! I look forward to seeing you in the sequel!_

_Review and tell me if you'll be reading it? _

_Thank you _

_Meganlucindaxo_

"_**Yes. I want to tell the rebels that I am alive. That I'm here in District 8 where the capitol has just bombed a hospital full of unarmed men, woman, and children. There will be no survivors. I want to tell people, that if you think for a second that the Capitol will treat us fairly if there's a cease fire, you're diluting yourselves. Because you know who they are, and you know what they do! This is what they do! And we must fight back! President Snow says he's sending us a message? Well I have one for him. You can torture us, and bomb us, and burn our districts to the ground; but do you see that? Fire is catching. And if we burn, you burn with us."**_

_**-Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire.**_


End file.
